Abdel latif Moubarak Egyptian:沉溺于对你的渴望，在其中耗尽自我

诗繁韵诗社

The Ambush

I learned to grieve in silence,

As much as I learned to love you,

To surrender to your longing and die within it.

A bitter truth set me free:

That your love for me,

In reality,

Was a spider.

My simple dream was to find you,

Carrying my burdens,

Standing tall within my eyes,

My blood flowing through your veins.

I gave my heart to the sunrise,

Only to awaken and find you were a guillotine

In the hands of your own love.

And my love for you,

Was the whole point of the problem.

Your beginning was painful,

Your ending, crafted in deceit,

Cut to fit,

Without prayer.

I used to worship you,

Not even as a pagan to an idol.

I didn’t know the end of my love for you was nothingness,

Lost in regret.

I was like dough,

Shaped by your fingers.

I was like dough,

Shaped by your fingers.

I would find a future blooming

Under your sun, under your shadow,

And I’d forgive my past days

For ever

Having loved you.

Don’t deny I was the only one born

From your sky with two stars,

Two engravings on my forehead,

Perfectly matched.

The sun of dead truth was colored

Between my sincere words and your fake smile.

Your phony lines were created:

Sometimes an angel,

Sometimes destruction,

Sometimes your flaws were an epic poem

You’d tell with feigned innocence.

Your created devil didn’t leave

In the fire of your cruel loneliness.

Between the soft whisper of your voice

Filling an empty time,

I was there,

Remembering you calling him.

My heart was your toy,

You’d try it out.

It was no good except for being sad.

And for years,

When your dream would come to me and then leave,

I’d feel choked.

I’d become like the truth when it’s hanged

In the eyes of the wronged.

And for years,

When you were the cloud for me,

And the thirst in my tongue would howl,

Like wolves

Standing over a feast for the dead,

Waiting to share the meal.

My look was the orphan.

Your look… was the ambush

伏击

我学会了在沉默中悲恸，

正如我曾学会爱你那般深切，

沉溺于对你的渴望，在其中耗尽自我。

一个残酷的真相将我解脱：

你对我的爱，

事实上，

不过是一只织网的蜘蛛。

我单纯的梦想，是寻到你——

承载我的重担，

在我眼中挺拔伫立，

让我的血液在你的血管里流淌不息。

我将心托付给朝阳，

醒来却发现，你竟是一把断头台，

握在你自身的爱意手里。

而我对你的爱，

便是这一切问题的症结核心。

你的开端满是痛楚，

你的结局由欺骗铸就，

量身剪裁，

毫无一丝虔诚。

我曾那般敬慕你，

甚至超越异教徒对偶像的崇拜。

我从不知，我对你的爱终将归于虚无，

在悔恨中消散无迹。

我曾如一团面团，

任你的指尖肆意塑形。

我曾如一团面团，

任你的指尖肆意塑形。

我本以为，未来会在

你的阳光下、你的阴影里绽放生机，

我也会永远原谅那些过往岁月——

只因曾爱过你。

别否认，我是那唯一从你双星闪耀的天际

降临之人，

额间两道印记，

完美契合，天作之合。

死寂真相的烈日，在我真挚的话语

与你虚伪的笑容间晕染开色彩。

你编造出虚伪的台词：

时而化身天使，

时而化身毁灭，

时而将自身缺陷粉饰成史诗，

带着佯装的纯真娓娓道来。

你亲手造就的恶魔，

从未在你残酷孤独的火焰中离去。

当你轻柔的低语填满空洞的时光，

我就在那里，

听见你呼唤着他的名字。

我的心曾是你的玩具，

你肆意把玩，

它除了承载悲伤，一无是处。

多少年来，

当你的幻影向我袭来又悄然离去，

我便感到窒息。

我变得如同蒙冤者眼中

那被高悬的真相，孤立无援。

多少年来，

你于我是遮天蔽日的云，

我舌尖的渴望如狼嗥般嘶吼，

像群狼守着逝者的盛宴，

等待分食残羹。

我的目光是无依的孤雏，

而你的目光……便是那场蓄谋已久的伏击。