儿子感悟--重拾童年、挚爱亲情

长空栈道

昨（8/24/17）飞机上给妈妈的短信，今经同意分享给当爹娘的，还有准父母们。

Hey mom,

I'm so tired from missing the family, the dog, and the house that I don't think that I can write a letter befitting the eloquence that I normally offer. So instead I'll write about some small tidbits of truth racking my brain and they'll naturally weave into something meaningful, big, important to mother and son.

1. I want to observe that going to the airport today was much much more challenging than it ever was. My brother wiped my tears in the backseat of the car and on the line to security. When he wasn't there to do it for me, I wiped them myself. I could barely look back at you all, and in that moment, I fantasized about attending a college that was but ten footsteps away from home. But perhaps only with great distance can there be great closeness. My tears and the pain in my throat that preceded them were healthy and full of promise, promise that they'll be met with wider smiles and deeper happiness when I return.

2. What is childhood? It is a learning process of truths for both the parent, who offers the world, and the child, who opens his eyes to that world. To that extent, this summer in China was a second childhood. The world you showed me was Shanghai and a side of Harbin that I had no previous knowledge about. And the truths? They're everywhere. They're in the work I did, the people I met, the food you bought me, the stores you took me to. No one said that the truths to be learned in childhood have to be any big, momentous truths. All there has to be is one nugget of truth a day, something small but gleaming and memorable. I had that because you gave it to me. Thank you for allowing me to be a child again, if only for a month or two.

3. The last day of Whippany Chinese food, of rummy, and of video games passed like a flash before my eyes. Maybe it passed so fast because I haven't spent enough time with you all yet. But I like to think that it's because in those moments, I finally transitioned from being a visitor in my home to being a presence that belonged in my home. Eating with family, playing rummy with family, watching tv with family, playing video games with family, none of it felt temporary or urgent or rushed or the end of anything. It felt familiar. It felt right.

4. Eight hours away from home, there are only so many things I can still control. Take care of Frost. Take care of yourself and and my brother and don't get too busy with all the community debates. I'd rather have both imperfect policies and a cohesive family than neither.

5. Hang out with Mrs. K sometimes. She respects you immensely.

6. I'll miss you all.

玩儿rummy是十多年来的family tradition. 原本全家例行打牌，但我要参加电话会议。估计他看出来我忙活，以前不太清楚我做什么，现在知道又心疼吧。

送到火车站，给儿子带的苹果掉地上了，一时间找不到，火车来了，只好作罢。我把车挪开也没见踪影。遛Frost又回到车站蓦然见到了儿子没吃上的🍎。

哈尔滨儿童公园，十多年来打枪的地方到底换了器具，端端甚至后悔来公园破坏了这番念想。屏住呼吸走过去，好在那位风姿绰约的老板娘还在，聊了很久。

上海交大

魔都的魅力

You are as eloquent as ever baby. Sorry I've stuffed years of my community involvement into the couple of days with you, ironically, for the purpose of having a cohesive family, in like the many I saw that have little communication. Sometimes it felt too much or too rushed because you are not by my side long enough to have paced talks.

On the surface it looks like improving admissions policy is a goal I am working toward, yet on the deeper side, it is the parent child communication that I am building the community. Thus sharing some of your previous writing. Hope u understand my goal is never as shallow as college admissions.

I told your brother that the two years you were in high school we really didn't talk much. And spending time is the best way of building the bond.

The three months and 10 days are the fullest days I had. Thank you for letting me be a mom.

应朋友圈要求，把亲友的一些评论更新进来。

我昨转了第二段在亲子群，提到落泪，说到"这真是男儿有泪不轻弹，只因未到伤心处。" 群友旋即接下去："莫愁前路无知己，天下谁人不识君。"

"因为母子情深也得益于共同奋斗的目标和过程。一起努力更加深对彼此的理解和尊重与信任。"

"字里行间儿子流露的都是感激和尊敬，很感人很难得"

"在细腻优美的文字下，是非同一般的经历和感受，是欣赏和感激，是母子情深。母亲是孩子永远的港湾；孩子不管多大，在母亲眼里总是孩子。读了好几遍。他是得了您的真传。"

"He is and forever will be that special someone no one else can replace in ur life. He will always enjoy to be a child again even when you are 80 years and he had his own child."

"母子情深啊！曾经的小男孩长大了，如此贴心，如此感恩，如此能表达！ So proud of him! 你现在是不是后悔孩子养少了？"

"得到儿子这样的贴心话语，母复何求啊"

"老大是有着一颗极其善良和敏感的❤️，对家庭、父母、兄弟、甚至狗狗的眷恋，让人感动。"

"你着实教育出了一个好儿子，你和你先生功不可没。这样的孩子真不需要再担心什么了。"

"只要心中有爱，有对父母养育之恩的感恩（非被迫的），这样的人，就完胜身居高位的各路"精英"。这就又不得不回到传统文化上，中国的传统文化似乎让父母更付出，而作为回报（again，非被迫的），子女长大后的感怀之心，是支撑一个正常健康社会的重要部分之一。"

"在这个年龄段，一个ABC男孩，还有这样和家庭父母的紧密bonding，实在是不多啊。"

"完全不是过奖，这样的孩子才是真正可爱的，有希望的。爱，才是人类最终的希望。所以有一颗爱心的男人最有魅力。"

"Childhood 这段真是太棒了！尤其第一句，说的真见功夫。有这种体验和感触，花多少钱给孩子费多少心都感觉值得了。像我们这个，那天费心巴力拎着去动物园 回来一问，啥也不知道，真是焦心。但愿儿子长大也能像端端一样，对生活抱有探索的热情，对万事万物都敞开心扉，有敏感的触角去感受和体验。这就是海子说的那种，活在这珍贵的人间吧。作为妈妈我想你真是太欣慰了！端端写的每个字眼都说道到妈妈的心砍里。这要是我，早就泪眼婆娑了。太懂事了！这种孩子就是家长咋付出都不觉得累的那种。"

"关于全文：我完完整整地看完，真的被感动到了，被端端细腻的语言和你在下面的评论。我也心潮起伏不能平静。端端真是一个感情细腻同时又大器明理的孩子，在西方国家成长起来的人能这样重感情、懂得感恩和如此珍爱亲情，真是十分不易！想必与好的家庭教育有很大关系。这也让我想到家庭学校社会教育中，家庭教育是相当重要的。可能就是这种家文化和家风培养了孩子这种体贴感恩的性格。"

"我觉得端端的文字是有感情的，是能看到活生生的血肉，看到成长纠结挣扎到坚强自立的过程。真好！这在我们周遭看更是见证完美生命成长奇迹的过程。看得我特别感动。其实端端这些都是每个孩子要经历的，但是端端却品尝出了浓厚的情愫--各种情愫。 端端真是一个懂生活的人。这样的人一生都会快乐自足，对生活热爱并充满感恩。"

"这正是我希望我儿子有的品格。我觉得孩子智商情商有时候是天定的，不太好逼仄，但是一颗感恩的心--对世界的同理心同情心--这种对生活的爱和孜孜不倦的努力，是孩子最重要的品格，直接决定他未来幸福指数，是最重要培养的特质。这些东西具备了，就具备了快乐幸福的能力，所以我认为是最宝贵的财富。"

"看端端的文字都是鲜活的一个个细胞因子，仿佛都有生命，我都能感到每个字母的情绪--压抑的淡淡忧伤和自我鼓舞的勇敢成长。你的评论也真是大赞，我要能说出这些话，感觉不是年龄到了就行的事，这真是功夫的积累，寥寥几句，真让人佩服。"

"情真意切，好感动，归功于父母的教育。"

"太感动了！有儿如此，夫复何求啊！"

"看了非常感动！反馈里说了我也想说的，孩子养成这样，就是最大的成功！"

"长篇评论把我的感受都完整准确地表达出来了，我自己没这表达水平。赞你们母子!也赞后面长篇评论的作者！"

"浓浓的亲情！你儿子除了母亲节还会给你写信，太羡慕了！"

"两人写得都是文采斐然，看后很是感动。优秀的父母，优秀的孩子！"

"看得好感动，儿子情感细腻，字里行间充满了感恩，这辈子拥有这么可心的儿子，当妈的也就别无他求了！"

"育儿的最高境界！"

"尽显殷殷慈母心，涓涓儿子感恩情。还记得你去年同期送儿子入大学的那篇文章，当时读完很感动，因自己深有感触。母子两篇文章堪称两代人沟通的典范。👍👍成功的母亲，优秀的儿子！"