我的经历 下篇 My experience Part 2

瑩

８．输药口 port-a-cath

为了化疗，201６年1月２１日又做了一次全麻手术，在胸部装一个输药接口。手术前照例有护士来，先找血管。我看她拿针的姿式就有说不出的不得劲，果不其然，手臂上的血管被她在里面左突右穿的扎了五次，血管被扎穿了。有生以来是第一次被扎穿血管。我跟她开玩笑说，看来你是想提醒我今天来装这个输药口的决定是多么的正确。做化疗可从手臂的血管上输液，也可在胸上先装这个输药口，通过这个输药口输药。它的好处是，化疗药不会跑到皮肤上。而在手臂上输液就有这个危险，会烧坏皮肤。而且如护士技术不熟练或血管不好找的话，每次化疗就会更遭罪。

On January 21st, 2016 I had another surgery to implant a port in my chest for chemo treatment. In the prep room, as usual, a nurse came in with the needle and was trying to find a vein in my arm. For some reason, her way of holding the needle looked weird to me. After she stabbed me five or six times, my vein was broken. I said, "I guess you are trying to show me that I did the right thing to come in and get this port implanted", she laughed at my joke. There were a couple of ways to get chemo treatment. The good thing about this port is that it will reduce the number of needles poking into my veins, the blood tests and chemotherapy can be administered the same day with 1 needle poke, and it can also reduce the risk of tissue and muscle damage.

魔头山

Devil's Head Mountain

给我做手术的医生叫Shelly, 说她每天差不多都要做六个装输液口的手术，一年下来要给一千多名病人做这个手术。这只是一家医院的数字，由此可见每年有多少新的癌症病人产生。

The doctor who did this surgery was named Shelly; she said that she does this surgery about six times a day, so she does about a thousand of these surgeries each year. You can tell that there were and still are so many new cancer patients every year!

圣玛丽冰川

Saint Mary's Glacier

９．化疗 Chemotherapy

去见肿瘤医生，他坦白的跟我说，化疗对我能起作用否他不知道，但不做有可能会后悔。他给我制订了用CAPEOX的方案。化疗药是Oxaliplatin（Eloxatin）奥沙利铂针剂和口服Capecitabine（Xeloda）希罗达。共八个疗程。一个疗程是三周，第一天输液Oxaliplatin，然后两周连续服用希罗达，每天三次。第三周休息。共做八个疗程。写下这段文字的时候，我的胃就在翻滚，它一听到希罗达的字眼就引起了它不愉快的回忆。

Before my first chemotherapy, I went to see my oncologist. He said "I am being totally honest with you; I don’t know how much chemotherapy can help you. Chemotherapy affects people differently and may not work for you as planned. But you’ll regret it if you do not do it". He had planned to use the CAPEOX regimen. The medicine in this regimen includes Oxaliplatin(Eloxatin) and Capecitabine(Xeloda). The duration of my treatment was 8 cycles. There were three weeks in a cycle. The first day would be the infusion of the Oxaliplatin. Xeloda would then be taken orally three times a day for the following two weeks. Then I would take a break on the third week. My stomach is churning while I write these last few sentences down; it brings back unpleasant memories.

鹿溪峡谷公园

Deer Creek Canyon Park

其中Xeloda可能代来的副作用有：

过敏反映：搔痒或麻疹，手或脸肿胀，口腔或嗓子肿胀或发麻，胸口发紧，呼吸困难

皮肤发红，起泡，脱皮

胸部疼痛可蔓延到手臂，鄂，后背或颈部，呼吸困难，恶心，多汗，头晕

腹泄每天四次或更多，夜间腹泄，血便，腹痛

心跳加快

发烧１００．５度以上或其它感染的症状如发冷，咳嗽，喉咙和身体痛

手或脚发红，疼痛，肿胀或起泡

一天内两次严重的恶心或呕吐

口疮或嘴唇，口腔，嗓子起白点

手，脚或脚踝肿胀

异常出血或瘀血或虚弱，皮肤苍白

皮肤或眼白发黄

Possible side effects while using Xeloda

Allergic reaction: Itching or hives, swelling in your face or hands, swelling or tingling in your mouth or throat, chest tightness, trouble breathing

Blistering, peeling, red skin rash

Chest pain that may spread to your arms, jaw, back, or neck, trouble breathing, nausea, unusual sweating, faintness

Diarrhea 4 or more times each day, diarrhea at night, bloody bowel movements, abdominal pain

Fast, pounding, or uneven heartbeat

Fever of at least 100.5 F or other signs of infection, such as chills, cough, sore throat, and body aches

Redness, pain, swelling, or blisters on your hands or feet

Severe nausea, or vomiting more than 2 times in 24 hours

Sores or white patches on your lips, mouth, or throat

Swelling in your hands, ankles, or feet, unusual tiredness

Unusual bleeding, bruising, or weakness, pale skin

Yellow skin or eyes

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

其中Oxaliplatin可能带来的副作用有：

意识混乱

深色尿液或浅颜色的粪便

干咳，呼吸时有噪音，气短

头晕，昏晕

恶心，呕吐，没食欲，上腹部疼痛

手，脚，手臂，腿，脚，嘴，嗓子麻木或灼烧感

针头接触的皮肤红肿

癫痫发作

突发严重头痛，视力，听力，语言能力下降，走路不稳

异常出血或瘀血

异常疲劳或虚弱

皮肤或眼白发黄

视力模糊或视力改变

便秘，腹泄，腹痛

对冷水，冷空气等冷的东西非常敏感

脱发或易出汗

口疮或嘴唇，口腔，嗓子起白点

Possible side effects while using Oxaliplatin

Allergic reaction: Itching or hives, swelling in your face or hands, swelling or tingling in your mouth or throat, chest tightness, trouble breathing

Confusion

Dark-colored urine or pale stools

Dry cough, noisy breathing, or shortness of breath

Lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting

Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, or pain in your upper stomach

Numbness, tingling, or burning pain in your hands, arms, legs, feet, mouth, or throat

Pain, redness, burning, swelling or skin changes where the needle was placed

Seizures or tremors

Sudden or severe headache, problems with vision, hearing, speech, or walking

Unusual bleeding or bruising

Unusual tiredness or weakness

Yellowing of your skin or the whites of your eyes

Blurred vision or changes in vision

Constipation, diarrhea, stomach pain or upset, or loss of appetite

Feeling sensitive to cold objects or cold temperatures

Hair loss, mild skin problems, or increased sweating

Sores or white patches on your lips, mouth or throat

熊溪湖公园

Bear Creek Lake Park

这个化疗药的好处是，它只会使你的头发减少，但并不会全掉光。

The good thing about this chemotherapy regimen is it will reduce the thickness of your hair, but it won’t wipe off all your hair.

魔头山

Devil's Head

2016年１月２６日开始了我的第一次化疗。

On January 26th, 2016 I started my first ever chemotherapy.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

化疗的前几晚睡不好，想到化疗药需从刚做了手术的还肿着的输药口处送入，就很紧张。只有靠安眠药助眠了。当天，在朋友的陪伴下，带着惴惴不安的心情去做化疗。化疗前先抽血，根据验血结果决定身体是否适合做化疗。然后药房就会配好药由"全副武装"的护士来打针。之所以如此，是因化疗药物本身就是毒药，所以护士们必须保护好自己。

I had a hard time falling asleep a few nights before the big day. I was worried about the chemotherapy and its side effects. The medicine was to be injected through my still swollen port, and I got nervous just by thinking about it. So I turned to sleeping pills for help. On the 26th, I nervously went to the hospital accompanied by a friend. They drew some blood first to determine my condition for the treatment. If I was in good shape, they would make the medicine in the lab. Afterwards, a nurse would come and do the infusion while wearing a body length suit; the reason for this is because the chemotherapy medicine itself is a toxic drug, so the nurse had to protect herself from the toxicity.

家附近山顶眺望丹佛市中心

Downtown Denver From High Point

化疗前要输入一些防呕吐的药，然后才开始注入化疗药。化疗药袋被罩着古铜色的袋子。输液的同时医生助理Ann来和我谈话，讲些有关副作用的问题；还有营养师来和我谈饮食问题。从中午１１点到诊所，直到下午４点，看着马上要结束这有史以来的第一次化疗了，刚想松口气，忽然感觉有点不对劲。先是大姆指抽筋，后其它手指都开始抽，然后手指尖有刺痛感，又波及到脚趾。再后来牙床发酸，舌头肿大，无论我怎样努力，舌头就是不听话，说话不清楚，呼吸不甚畅通。这时我按下了手边的紧急按钮，所有护士都赶来了，包括那个医生助理Ann。他们马上另外给我输入了三种药。折腾了约四十分钟左右，症状开始减轻。Ann告诉我，如晚上症状加重，就要去急诊。如第二天不好，就要回来挂水。因为输入了的类固醇的缘故，那天晚上一晚没睡，吃了两片lunesta安眠药都没用。

Before the infusion, they will first inject some anti-nausea medicine, and then the real infusion starts. You can tell that it’s chemotherapy medicine by the color of the bag. It will be covered by a dark brown bag. While I was in the middle of the infusion, Ann who was the doctor’s assistant came over and talked to me about how to deal with the side effects of chemotherapy; a nutritionist came over too. She told me how to choose the right diet during this period of time. From 11am to 4pm, I was tired but pretty happy that I was almost done with my very first chemotherapy treatment. But all of a sudden after 4pm, I did not feel so well. First my thumbs started to cramp, and then my other fingers and toes started cramping as well. My fingertips hurt, my jaw was sore, my tongue had gotten bigger, and I could not talk clearly. Then I had trouble breathing. I pushed the red button beside me and all the nurses rushed over, including Ann, the assistant. They had to inject three other medicines to reduce my symptoms. About forty minutes later, I felt better. Ann told me I needed to go to the emergency room if my symptoms got worse in the evening, and I needed to come back to the hospital the second day for some more medicine if the symptoms persisted. Because they used steroids to reduce my symptoms, I did not get any sleep that night even with the Lunesta sleeping pill.

化疗期间认识的护士朋友

The Nurses I Got Acquaintanced with During Chemo Treatments

后来的几天手脚还是抽筋，小腿很疼，下楼很痛苦。胃不舒服，嘴里起泡，发低烧，手，脚趾发麻，怕凉水，出门吸入冷空气就呼吸不畅通。经常是呕吐和拉肚子同时发生，每次都吐到苦胆水出来。第三天就脱水了，只有乖乖的去医院挂水和输入电解质。后来的几天每天坚持口服希罗达和止吐药。开始两天还免强，到第三天只要一想到药字，胃里的酸水就往上冒。到第一个疗程的第十四天，开始便血。

My hands and feet still had cramping problems a few days after the first chemotherapy. My calf hurt too which made it very hard to go down stairs. My stomach was uncomfortable most of the day. A couple of sores appeared in my mouth, I had a low fever, my fingers and toes were numb, I was afraid of cold water, and it was hard to breathe while outside because of the cold air. While all of this was occurring, I was prone to diarrhea and vomiting. I vomited until all the bile came out. Not surprisingly, I got dehydrated on the third day. I had to go back to the hospital to get electrolytes and salt water. No matter how bad I felt, I still had to take Xeloda, the chemotherapy drug that I had to take orally. Taking the drug was ok until the third day. Whenever I even thought of the word medicine, water would come up from my stomach to my mouth and felt like I wanted to puke. On the fourteenth day, I started pee blood.

化疗输液架

Infusion Rack

第二个疗程之前去看我的肿瘤医生。他开玩笑的说，我不是杀人犯，鉴于你第一次几乎所有的副作用都在你身上体现，我们要减量。

Before the second cycle, I went to see my oncologist and he said "I am not a murderer. Since you almost had all the side effect the first cycle, we need to reduce the quantity of the medicine".

化疗诊所等候区

Chemotherapy Waiting Room

药减量后连续做了七次化疗。副作用每次都有，轻重程度不同，胃部经常是翻江倒海，记忆力下降。最难以忍受的就是恶心，恶心和恶心。重要的事情说三遍：）。不光是我，多数病人最怕的就是恶心。因它令人难过不说，还影响人的食欲，对身体的恢复造成了很大的阻碍。一位护士告诉我，有人一见到这座医院所在的大楼就会产生恶心的感觉。我的第六次化疗差点做不了了，因白血球偏低。听说海参能提高免疫力，饮食中就加入了这款海产品。果然白血球上来一点，上升的不多但我可继续化疗了。

After my oncologist readjusted the medicine, I had seven more chemotherapy treatments. I had side effects every time, sometimes they were pretty severe and sometimes lighter. The churning of my stomach became normal to me. My memory started to decline. The most unbearable problem was nausea, nausea, and nausea. I’m not the only person afraid of the nausea; most patients were all afraid of nausea too, because it makes a person uncomfortable and affects your diet. It’s a big hurdle when one’s body is trying to recover from cancer. One nurse had told me that some patients will feel nauseous just by looking at the building where chemotherapy was given. I almost couldn’t do the sixth chemotherapy, because of my low white blood cell count so I added sea cucumber to my diet since I’ve heard that it can increase one’s immune system. Fortunately, it helped, not too much, but it increased my white blood cell count so I could continue my chemotherapy.

2015 年生曰

2015 Birthday

我去的这家医院化疗间分几种。多数都是两人共享的。中间有拉帘。化疗椅可坐可半躺。另外还有一间单人房间，房间里有床，是给身体特别虚弱的病人准备的。因多数化疗都需很长时间，所以医院的厨房备有各种小吃和饮料，病人可随时取用。

The hospital I went to had a couple kinds of rooms for chemotherapy. Most of the space was shared by two people with a curtain in between. The chair could be adjusted so one can lie down. Also there were rooms for single patients. There was a bed in the room, for patients who were too weak to sit up. Since most the chemotherapy treatments take a long time to finish, the hospital had prepared all sorts of snacks and different kinds of drinks. Patients, and whoever accompanied them, could help themselves.

化疗椅

Infusion Chair

在两人间曾碰到一些同病相连的人。多数病人是老人，少数是中年人。看到最年轻的是一位二十几岁的年轻姑娘，深感心痛。其中有一位八十岁左右的老兵，膀胱癌。见到他时，正由他太太陪着做化疗。他需连续三十天做放疗和化疗。我见到他时，他已做了二十八天了。这还不算最糟糕的。他们有一女儿，五十岁左右，比他早一个月诊断为脑癌。一家三人，两人前后得癌，令人希嘘。让我非常敬佩的是，在这种情况下他的坚强，忍耐和不怨天尤人的态度。难到军队真的这么煅炼人！

I had met with some patients during my chemotherapy treatments. Most of them were elderly people, some were middle aged, and a couple of them were young. The youngest one was a girl who was in her twenties. It felt like my heart was being pinched when I saw her with the infusion tube poking out of her shirt! Among them, there was also an eighty some years old veteran. He had bladder cancer. That day when I saw him, he was getting the infusion, accompanied by his wife. He needed to get thirty days of chemotherapy and radiation continuously. That was his 28th day when I saw him. They had a daughter who was about fifty years old. She was diagnosed with brain cancer a month before the veteran. I couldn’t believe that two out of three people in a family was diagnosed with cancer; I was speechless. What I admired most about him was his zero complaints and his positive attitude about this whole ordeal. The army is really magical to be able to train people to become such a strong person, really!

美丽坚硬的石头

Tough and Beautiful Rocks

另外还曾遇见一女兵。我去那天她已在输液。互相打招呼时，看她小桌上放着笔记本电脑，手里拿着只笔，在笔记本上写着什么。她看上去身强体壮，精力充沛。先生陪着她，有说有笑。后过了两个月我化疗时，忽听隔间铃声大作，所有护士都奔了过去。过了很久看见那位女兵在别人的搀扶下从隔间走出去洗手间。她原有的健壮体魄不在，蹒跚的在我眼前走了过去。

I also met with a middle aged woman soldier. That day she was in the middle of her infusion when I arrived. When I greeted her, I found that there was a laptop opened up on her desk, and she was holding a pen and was writing something on the paper. She looked strong and energetic. Her husband was there also; they talked and laughed. Two months had passed when I had the chance to see her again. That day, I was doing my chemotherapy, and all of sudden, the alarm in the room besides mine started ringing; all the nurses ran toward that room. After a long time, I saw that woman soldier walking out with the help from another woman. She looked so frail; she almost looked like a different person.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

记忆中还有一位女性和男士。都是患癌十几年了。感觉他们对化疗就像来打预防针，习以为常。

I remembered there were two more patients, one male and one female. They both had cancer for more than ten years. I felt like they treated chemotherapy like prevention shots, they acted so nonchalant coming over here to get an infusion; they treated it like it was no big deal.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

２０１６年６月２1日，是个值得记念的日子。那是我最后一次化疗。我是既高兴又难过。高兴的是，这是最后一次化疗，有可能再也不用看到那罩着古铜色袋子的药水了，再也不用用这里洗手间的有着怪味的，闻到就想呕吐的洗手液了。。。难过的是不能常常看到这里的护士们了。这半年来和这里的护士从陌生到熟悉。有几位特别投缘。她们的耐心，通情达理和善解人意让我深受感动。好在我过一段时间就要回来请她们注射药物到我的输药口以保证它的通畅。所以我现在还可见到她们。

June 21, 2016, is a very memorable day for me. That day was the last day I received chemotherapy; it was my final cycle. I was extremely happy yet sad. This day was bittersweet for me. I was happy because this was my last chemotherapy treatment and I would never have to see the ugly brown colored bag containing the chemotherapy drugs again. I would also never need to use the bathroom with the weird smelling soap; whenever I would smell the scent, it would make me want to vomit. The sad part about this day was that I wouldn’t see the nurses as often as before. This past half year, the nurses and I became close and familiar with each other, and there were some nurses who became good friends with me. Their patience and ability to understand moved me. The good thing is that I would get to see them again when I return to get my port injected with heparin to prevent blood from clotting. So I’m glad I can still see them every once in a while.

有护士们签名的奖状

Award With Autographs of The Nursers

儿女做的"最后一次"化疗贺卡

"The Last Chemo" Card Made By My Kids

１０。恢复 Recovery

做完化疗后，身心都轻松了很多。制定了自以为很完整的恢复身体的计划。

After I finished chemotherapy, I felt physically, mentally, and emotionally relieved. I made a recovery plan that I thought would allow me to recover completely.

刚开始时很辛苦。做一顿饭要做许久，做三分之一就大汗淋漓，而且受过伤的手臂做饭之后会更痛。出门散步只要有椅子的地方一定要坐下歇一歇才能继续前行。

When I first started my road to recovery, it was pretty difficult. It took a long time for me to cook a meal, I started to sweat profusely after I cooked one third of the meal, and my arm would be in a lot of pain after I finished cooking. Whenever I went on a walk, I would always sit down on every bench along the way to catch my breath and finish the walk.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

虽然我还有些病痛，但是和一年多前的我比已经好得太多太多。我现在恢复了游泳，滑雪，登山, 太极等运动，还重新拾起了美食，十字绣等爱好，曾经荒芜了的菜园又生机勃勃了。另外还在学习唱歌，跳舞，弹琴，摄影等各项有趣的活动。还经常去做各种义工，帮助那些比我更需要帮助的人。

Despite the fact that I still have some small problems here and there, compared to before, I am doing much much better. Nowadays I am able to swim, ski, hike, do Tai Chi, etc. I have picked up cooking, cross stitching, and all my hobbies again. My garden was barren, but now it is vibrant and healthy. On the other hand, I am learning how to sing, dance, play the piano, practice photography, and any other activity that interests me. Furthermore, I volunteer to help others who need more help than I do.

圣玛丽冰川

Saint Mary's Glaciers

11。感恩 Grateful

生病后深切的体会到有亲人，朋友，同学，同事和儿女是多么的幸运。

After my sickness, I felt so lucky that I had my loved ones, friends, classmates, and colleagues and their support.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

姐夫，从肩胛骨摔坏开始到做胃的手术，一直关心着我的病情。花了数不清的时间帮我咨询他医学界的中美同事，同学.

From the very beginning when I broke my collar bone to my stomach surgery, my brother in law was always concerned about my well-being. He spent countless hours getting information and advice from his friends and classmates in the medical field.

Roxborough 国家公园

Roxborough State Park

姐姐，不但出钱还出力。听说我得病的消息，每天坐立不安，丢下家人，不远万里从中国跑来照顾我和我的家人。她在这里的三个月，是我生命中最黑暗的三个月。那段时间，失眠，手臂痛，痛不欲生，胃病不能确诊。完全没有能力照顾自己，更不用说照顾家人了。她在这里的三个月，又是我最幸福的三个月。从小到大，从未有机会单独和姐姐一起生活这么久。这次在一起，虽未能游山玩水，却可在我有精力时谈天说地，回忆往事。她就是我的天使。

My sister not only gave money but also helped me as much as she could. When she heard about my sickness, she became very agitated and abandoned her family and traveled all the way to the US from China to come take care of me and my family. Thankfully, she arrived during the darkest time of my life. During that time I had insomnia, pain in my arm, and no definite diagnosis of my stomach problems. There was no way that I could take care of myself, let alone take care of my family. However, because of her, the three months that she stayed became the happiest months of my life. I never had the chance to live with my sister for such a long time. The time when we were together, we didn’t get the chance to do any sightseeing, but we did have a lot of conversations ranging from our childhood to our current life and reminisced. She is my angel.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

哥哥和嫂嫂们也是心急火燎，在中国帮我问医问药，还在经济上帮助我。

My older brothers and sister in laws were also worried so much. In China they got information and advice from doctors, looked for medicine, and helped me financially.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

姐姐哥哥的孩子们也非常关心我，在中国网购日本的睡眠枕，邮寄到美国。在美国的孩子们为我去拜佛还买了好多营养品寄给我。

My nephews and niece were also concerned; my niece ordered a sleeping pillow made from Japan on the Internet and sent it to me in the US, and the kids in the US prayed to Buddha for me and bought me lots of nutritious food.

丹佛市中心

Downtown Denver

先生的家人也关心倍至，问医买药，买营养品，经常电话问候。

My husband’s family was also worried sick; they bought medicine and vitamins for me and called often to ask how I was doing.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

我几十年的老朋友们更是令我感动。她们在微信上成立了一个"战胜疾病"的微信群，了解病情的进展，协调大家送饭。她们还自掏腰包帮我找按摩师，买营养品，补品。其中的一位朋友经常周末去买新鲜的食材，做好饭菜送来。我们一家吃着百家饭，心里的感激无以言表。另外一位朋友，那段时间她把自家鸡生的新鲜蛋都送到了我家。还有好几位朋友回国还想着我，帮我买营养品，补品。胃癌手术后，或买或做了好吃的带去医院并轮流去医院陪伴我，像自家的亲人一样。真的是患难见真情。

My dearest friends who I’ve known for decades moved me so much. They created a group chat called "Victory Over Sickness" on WeChat; through this group, they got to know my status as well as arranged who was going to send a meal to me and my family. They also paid for a masseuse and bought nutritious stuff for me. One of my friends often bought fresh produce, cooked a meal, and delivered it to me on weekends. My family and I were really grateful for all the meals from different friends. Another friend of mine brought over fresh eggs from their chicken to us. There were also friends who traveled back to China to buy me nutritious stuff to bring back to me. After my stomach surgery, they brought or made delicious meals to the hospital and also alternated in accompanying me at the hospital, just like a family.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

其中一位朋友在我做完胃癌手术后每天来我家，帮我做饭，陪我聊天，陪我去做化疗。她陪我走过了最初最艰难的化疗阶段，她陪我走过了难以忘怀的三个月。

One of my other friends came over every day after my stomach surgery to help me cook, chat, and accompany me to chemotherapy. She was there for me during the most agonizing chemotherapy treatments. The three months she stayed with me are very memorable.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

还有一些平常没时间联系的新老朋友，要求加入"战胜疾病"群，送饭，送物，探望，电话寻问。在外州的朋友，寄钱寄物，不一而足。

There were also new or old friends that I haven’t seen or talked to in a while who asked to join the "Victory Over Sickness" group to send meals, send goodies, call, and visit. Friends in other states mailed over gift cards and nutritious foods.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

还有一群信教的认识或不认识的朋友，每周为我祈祷。

Also, another group of Christian friends prayed for me every week.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

我的理发师听说了我的事儿，不但坚持送我红包，给我理发时还减价。

My hairdresser heard about my sickness and not only insisted on giving me red envelopes, but also gave me discounts when I got my haircut.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

我的牙医和他诊所的所有同事经常在早会上为我祈祷。

My dentist and his staff often prayed for me in their morning meetings.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

刚刚联系上的同学们对我的病关怀有加。常常电话询问。

The classmates that I just connected with through WeChat were so concerned about me that they called often to ask how everything was.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

我先生告诉我，他从内心感谢所有朋友的帮助和支持。尤其是在我做手术的那天，一位朋友专门去医院陪伴我先生。让他在精神上有了很大的支持。

My husband had told me that he is very grateful for all the support and help that everybody gave, especially on my surgery day. One of our friends had come and accompanied my husband in the hospital. It would have been very hard emotionally for him to wait for me to finish the surgery had our friend not been there.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

儿女也瞬间长大了，懂事了。

My son and daughter grew up so fast and matured during these months.

丹佛植物园，美丽的荷花吸引了小朋友们的目光

Denver Botanic Garden，The lotus attracted so many kids

先生就更不用提了，又要上班，又要陪我看病，日夜操劳，帮助我走过了这一段艰难的人生之路。

Last, but not least, I can’t even express my gratitude for my husband through words. He not only worked, but also accompanied me to doctors, took care of the family, and helped me get through my darkest times of my life.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

得了这个病，我是不幸的；但因为有你们，我又是万幸的。写到这里热泪盈眶，很感恩有你们大家的一路相伴。谢谢！

I was unlucky to get this sickness, but I am very lucky that I had all of you guys. I teared up while writing this portion; I am very grateful that I had and still do have your company and support. Thank you!

丹佛市中心

Downtown Denver

记得胃癌手术出院的那天，我先生载着我回家。正是下班时分，路上车来车往，好不热闹。虽然我当时的身体极度的虚弱，可我有种新生儿的感觉，看什么都感觉新奇，就像三十年前刚到美国一样。看着天，看着地，看着车，看着路上的行人和红绿灯，一切东西都那么美好和谐，以前怎么没看到！

I remember the day I got out of the hospital; my husband drove me back home during rush hour. Although I was really weak I felt like I was a newborn. Everything looked so new to me just like when I arrived in the US thirty years ago. I looked up at the sky, looked down at the ground, looked at the cars, looked at the people, and looked at the traffic lights; everything was so beautiful and harmonious. How come I didn’t see this all before?

山地骑行

Mountain Biking

我意识到生病也是生活的一部分。永远快乐，只是一个美好的愿望。每人的一生都会有一些磨难。磨难使人成长，磨难使人进步，磨难使人认识自己，磨难使人认识生活，磨难使人尊重生命！

I came to the realization that sickness is part of life too. Happily ever after only comes true in fairytales. Everyone’s life will always have some hardships. Hardships allow people to grow, progress, understand oneself, and understand and respect life.

丹佛市中心

Downtown Denver

我悟出了人活的就是一种心情，亲情，友情，爱情。只要心情好，一切皆好。人的一生不可能是一帆风顺的。人不但要在平凡的一生中寻求快乐，还要能在磨难中寻找快乐。

I figured out life is all about feelings, affection, friendship, and love. As long as you are happy, everything will be good. One’s life cannot always be easy or smooth sailing. Not only do you need to find happiness in life, but you also need to have the ability to find happiness in times of hardship.

丹佛植物园

Denver Botanic Garden

记得有一位退伍军人的同事。每天看他都是乐呵呵的。虽然了解到他在越战时曾死里逃生，但当时却无法体会他如何能做到天天快乐的，既使是工作不顺心时，他也能从容应对。现在我理解了，那就是从死亡的角度看向生命，就会懂得如何更好地活在当下。

I remember a colleague who was a veteran; everyday he was happy. I found out that he had a near death experience during the Vietnam War; I couldn’t understand how he could be so happy every day. When he had trouble during work, he was still able to deal with the problem properly. But now I understand that if you look at life from the angle of death, then you’ll understand how to live and enjoy the moment.

这两年，从艰辛，痛苦，彷徨，绝望再到希望，说不出的五味杂陈。虽然我不知将来的路是否坎坷不平或是有多长多远，但有了这次的经历，我希望我已做好了以不变应万变的准备。那就是向死而生，快乐过好每一天。

These last two years, from hardships, pain, anxiety, despair, to hope, I had mixed feelings throughout this journey. Although I don’t know whether the road ahead of me will be smooth or bumpy, long or short, after this experience I’m ready for the rest of my life. I learned to live my life to the fullest.

魔头山

Devil's Head

最后，感谢我先生帮我校对。特别感谢我的编辑，儿子，女儿帮助我修改英文部分。

Last, but not least, thanks to my husband for proofreading. Special thanks to my editors, my son and daughter, who helped me edit the English portion of my article.

加州 Catalina 岛

Catalina Island of California

所有像片都是手机随拍

All the pictures were taken using iphone