整顿家风记

雅虎(^_^)路虎

<h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Long long ago,主银就和两宝达成了家庭分工协议。</h3> <h3>雅虎⬇️负责貌美如花💃🌺</h3> <h3>路虎⬇️负责卖萌犯二😜😼</h3> <h3>主银⬇️负责赚钱养家🤕💰</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;主银认为,这样的分工那是人尽其才,各尽其职,简直不能再合理了!</h3><h3> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;就说雅虎小公举吧,从小就是个美人胚子。水盈盈的大眼睛,美丽又灵动,整个一枚调皮的小精灵。👼</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 萝莉时期的雅虎小公举,画风是这样子滴。😎😎😎</h3> <h3>这样子滴⬇️</h3> <h3>还有这样子滴⬇️</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;豆蔻年华的雅虎MM,不但没有长残,出落得那是越发的水灵,而且还一改小时候的调皮捣蛋,变成了优雅矜持迷人的小淑女。💃</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;及笄之年,雅虎已长成一枚气质如兰、典雅高贵、倾国倾城的美人儿。雅虎已成为主银的骄傲!😎</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;路虎从小就是个话痨,神经大条,还死馋死馋的,一枚死缠烂打的吃货、不折不扣的二货,但路虎同时也是主银的开心果。😼😺</h3> <h3>还是妥妥滴表情包🤔</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 您的好友<b><span style="color: rgb(57, 181, 74);">雅虎(^_^)路虎</span></b>分享了二货的5⃣️组表情包,收好不谢!😎</h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);"><br /></span></b></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">第一组:耍酷耍帅表情包</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">第二组:霸道总裁表情包</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">第三组:一脸懵逼表情包</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">第四组:生无可恋表情包</span></b></h3> <h3><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);"><b>第五组:卖萌犯二表情包</b></span></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;刚开始,两宝对分工毫无异议,对于主银在家中享有的江湖老大地位,那是相当滴拥护,经常给主银献宝。 &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;两宝献宝的选材很广,比如橡皮筋呀、钥匙环啊、钮扣线头什么的,甚至知了、🐝、苍蝇和蟑螂。😬但献宝的地点通常只有一个:主银的床单!😳</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;雅虎有个心爱的玩具车车。为表达自己对主银独到的真爱,小MM经常把脏兮兮的车车叼到主银的床单上!!😱<br /></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;某年平安夜,这枚高智商小MM,又把车车当成圣诞礼物给主银献宝,这可是主银收到的唯一圣诞礼物啊!🎁主银当时那个感动啊!😭</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;姐弟俩曾三度联手,打死打伤过三只在阳台上玩耍的小雀,把尚有残余体温的小雀放在主银的床单上!😳😱满满都是两宝对主银的爱!💝</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;But!!主银为了努力赚钱养家,为了给两宝提供更好的生活,每天都是早出晚归的。顺理成章地,24小时宅家的两宝成了家里真正的主银。</h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;傲娇的两宝渐渐不把主银放在眼里,对各自的工作开始各种懈怠。。</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<b>一开始是各种爱理不理:主银回家,不到门口欢迎主银。</b></h3><h1><b></b></h1><h3><br /></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">或肆无忌惮呼呼大睡😴💤</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">或旁若无人大秀恩爱🎎💞</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">或撕破脸皮大打出手👹👊🏾</span></b></h3> <h3><b>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;接着,开始窥伺主银的口粮。</b></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;So,主银的小日子过得并不滋润哇!偶尔吃个烤鱿鱼啊虾干啊什么的,都必须主动与两宝分享,否则两宝就会联手左右夹击主银!!😟</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;雅虎甚至恃靓行凶,完全不顾名媛形象,直接跳上餐桌,要抢吃主银的哈尔滨红肠!!</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <b>后来,胆子更肥了,开始搞破坏!</b></h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;二货这个死吃货,经常扒拉垃圾桶找吃的,弄得一地狼藉。</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;故意打碎鸡蛋,只为舔几口蛋清,又是搞得一地狼藉满室蛋腥!</h3> <h3>  化身骑扫帚的巫师,可劲儿撕扯小主银珍藏滴宝贝芦苇。</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;明明有喝水盆,偏要喝盆栽里的水,慢慢地竟把雅虎也带坏了!😤</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;喝盆栽水也就算了,还要把绿萝拔出来,主银种回去,二货再拔。。几番折腾后,绿萝终于挂掉了!</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;一言不合就撕咬卷纸,毁掉的生活物资不计其数,败家啊木有木!!</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<b>再后来,发展到霸占家产了!先从占领小主银的房间开始。</b></h3><h3><br /></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">霸占小主银的马甲</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">霸占小主银的小🛏️和被窝</span></b></h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">霸占小主银的🎹。</span></b></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;然后开始占领主银卧室!大咧咧滴瘫在主银床上,床霸啊有木有!真是木有天理哇!(主银以45°角仰望天空😭)</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;二货甚至还发展到碎觉觉必须盖被子的地步,这货已经人模狗样鸟!</h3> <h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">占领客厅-沙发</span></b></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 每天就知道吃喝拉撒耍!门也不看了,蟑螂也不抓了,马蜂也不赶了!</h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;耍累了倒头便睡,睡姿越来越销魂!二货已经无耻到随时随地露点的地步!真是家风日下,🐱心不古哇!</h3><h3><br /></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">二货露点照</span></b></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;雅虎的睡姿也是越来越伤大雅了!虽说是守住了不露点的底线,但是,最后三张照片完全颠覆了优雅女神形象,呲牙咧嘴翻白眼的丑陋睡态,却彻底践踏了主银的底线!</h3> <h1>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">是可忍也,孰不可忍也!</span></b></h1><h3><b></b></h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;主银忍了好长时间木有发飙,两宝已经把主银当病🐱了!长此以往,主银将威信扫地,家风将日益败坏!甚至国将不国了!So,是时候重整家风了!</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;主银连夜召开家庭紧急会议,先对这段时间的家风日下表示痛心疾首,并郑重地向两宝重申家规:</h3><h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <b style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">雅虎负责貌美如花!💃🌺</b></h3><h3><b style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 二货负责卖萌犯二!😜😼</b></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 主银负责赚钱养家!🤕💰</span></b></h3><h3><b><span style="color: rgb(237, 35, 8);">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; </span>所以,主银回家,必须立马停止手头一切事务,飞奔到门口欢迎主银!!</b></h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;雅虎,你是大家闺秀,必须时刻保持淑女形象,笑不露齿,行不露足,坐不露膝!听清楚了么?!</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 是,亲爱的主银!现在小雅虎萌萌哒了么?优雅高贵了么?主银您满意了么?爱老虎油!😙😘💕</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;二货,你虽是个糙爷们,但毕竟已被咔嚓了,还有嘛点可露的?真是有伤风化,给朕收敛点!听明白了吗?</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;好嘞!👌努力卖萌中!现在够萌吧?够二吧?😜主银周末愉快哈!😝</h3> <h3>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;经过这场轰轰烈烈的整风运动,家里又恢复到正常状态,从此两宝过上了幸福的生活!PERFECT!🤗</h3>