<p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><b style="font-size:22px;">天通诗联学会</b></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><b style="font-size:20px;">诗钟[白露]镶上下句，不论位置</b></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><b style="font-size:22px;">刘胜青出题并点评</b></p> <p class="ql-block">1.董卫星</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白芦卷雪秋江阔；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">露菊浮香野径幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用鹤顶格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2.赵爱群</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白霜似雪风光美；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">寒露滋枝冷气来。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">冷气/偏正，与风光/并列结构失应。改冷气为气象新。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3.赵天才</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白染霜华秋有色；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">露凝野径夜生凉。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用鹤顶格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">4.周耀君</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白露菊香开晚韵；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">清霜染桂贺金秋。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">白露全镶上句，不合要求。将清白上下调换位置，分别为清露和白霜。染桂/动宾，与菊香/主谓失应。改染桂为桂染/主谓。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">5.吕木香</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">长空浸涌白云静；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">浅圃徽含露气悠。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用鹤膝格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">6.陈敏</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">江村清露萦盈润；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">峡岭白云缭绕幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">7.龙正全</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白云绕岭金风爽；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">红叶铺峦玉露清。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">峦与岭，义合掌。峦，改溪。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">8. 缑秦君</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">篱畔菊开霜凝白；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">塘边梧坠露含光。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">9.李居欣</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">风梳野径秋霜白；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">月浸疏篱夜露清。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">10.孙桂花</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白铺野径秋光软；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">露浸篱花晓气清。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用鹤顶格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">11.花丽珍</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">阶前菊叠秋痕白；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">槛外荷销夜露香。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">12.崔大年</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">霜染蒹葭沟渚白；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">露垂瓜果圃园香。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用蝉联格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">13.蔡杏荣</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">白苇摇风秋有韵；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">青醬饮露夜无声。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;"> 醬，为螿之误，义为蝉。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p><p class="ql-block">14.柳新敏</p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">芦花飞雪秋江白；</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">露气凝珠晓径寒。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:15px;">用蝉联格，好！</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><br></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;">二十四诗品续诗品第二十二</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">矜严</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor"><br></span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">【诗曰】</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">贵人举止，咳唾生风。</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">优昙花开，半刻而终。</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">我饮仙露，何必千钟！</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">寸铁杀人，宁非英雄！</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">博极而约，淡蕴于浓。</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">若徒泶㺒，非浮邱翁。</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor"><br></span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">【题解】</span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor"> 此品谈诗歌创作必须严于筛选淘洗，简约精炼，做到浓中出淡，厚积薄发，要语不烦。全品总体意思大致是:贵人咳珠唾玉，化人至深的，也不过只言片语;昙花灵光一现，虽然短暂，却璀璨夺目，美艳动人。仙掌甘露，啜饮成仙，不必千钟万盏;沙场斗勇，精兵寸铁，岂非更显英雄！作诗在于博而能约，蕴淡于浓。烦言交杂，错语穿插，都有失真仙的洒脱风度。 </span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor"><br></span></span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">摘自《二十四诗品续诗品》一书。</span></span></p>