<p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二零二六年六月上社课</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：用平水韵十二震作七言绝句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刊头题字 ：蒋孝余</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收集简评 ：赵学鹏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇编辑 ：赵以顺</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"></span></p><p class="ql-block"></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【谢 勇】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">自 遣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闲随念起碌随心，江海行舟由逆顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">敛锷频遭俗眼嫌，一时浪荡不求进。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">见网上多AI作品有怀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吟坛车斗埋才俊，此道委靡谁可振。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">有瘾人如鲫过江，独怜和璞仍遭摈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">评：“敛锷”颇突兀，前后关联不足。纯说理，景语少。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【文受刚】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">六十年前“文革”乱象反思</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一记惊雷天下震，战旗高举向前进。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">全民造反斗批官，时下青年谁敢信。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">造反兵团齐上阵，居然一夜封官印。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可怜万里锦江山，得靠军方来坐镇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青年子弟多才俊，作事为人当谨慎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">前事不忘后事师，太平日子家和顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">评：愿“文革”风不再泛起。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor"></span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明英】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">途中遇雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">昨日归家逢雨阵，一番险景自成印。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">电雷狂恣掩长呼，风疾浪掀行不顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">感时人被骗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">如今善恶太难分，道义良知全息烬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">利字当头虚有情，助人择友务须慎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">评：“自成印”难理解。次首一味说理，反失语言之灵动。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor"></span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【刘先伦】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">染发归，过花店有怀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花要留芳人要俊，玉壶喷水熏一阵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凭空剪去数枝香，我与花神皆被摈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨夜与母亲通电话</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我是人间真才俊，栉风沐雨也滋润。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">慈亲来电问何如？答曰身边诸事顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">评：首绝由花及人，可谓“惺惺惜惺惺”，但仍感整体不够圆润。次绝从生活琐事入手，更得真切。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【祝西峰】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三角梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">餐风饮露根茎润，三角花形名可信。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蜂蝶纷纷去复来，紫红满架烟光衬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遣 怀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">世间最是流光迅，物象翻新何可认。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">都说花无百日红，人生那得天天顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">评：“名可信”所指未明，颇费解。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor"></span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【汪守先】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">学诗限韵二绝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">其一</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半路学诗人奋讯，卅三年逝笔难进。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">稀空霜髮老书斋，帘拂吟风雄阵阵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">其二</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一路豪吟事雅声，千三百首成孤峻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">尘风苦雨壮诗情，笔底苍茫留足印。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">评：首绝“老书斋”一出，行空之句便有了勾连的锚点。次绝“留足印”一出，行空之句便有了视角的导向。此二，便可供大家学习，纵是论诗，也要有景语支撑，方能虚中有实。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【梁正森】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刷短剧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">富豪低调多隐忍，羞辱爹娘儿女狠。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闺蜜碰瓷打脸忙，贪婪反噬有才俊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">伪诗《青云志》</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">网络疯传霞客诗，高山滚鼓亦通顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">轮番轰炸假成真，霞客奈何翻天印。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">范小勤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">学画蛇鸦亦造神，范公忧乐心头紧。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八家传讹八仙人，资本加持操控狠。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">评：《刷短剧》虽得味，但四句各言其事，反失起承转合之变。《青云志》流行网中，还为网红推举，我也不解。《范小勤》应当注一下，“范公”似指范小勤之父，此称呼一出，让读者理解颇难。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周国庆】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">端午读胡文辉嘲屈子诗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">汨罗千载水长流，夜雨潇湘风阵阵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">弱柳纤腰怜楚魂，鱼儿细把龙舟认。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美加墨世界杯竞彩投注指南</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">诸多赔率不堪信，频爆冷门须谨慎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">时有鱼腩平列强，应知胜负皆双刃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">评：个人认为两首的结都稍弱了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor"></span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【赵学鹏】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">普 京</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">藏身地堡难周慎，大帝新来颇不顺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">克里姆林宫上看，无人机阵胜兵阵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">泽连斯基</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">待从战火炼坚韧，危难之时臂一振。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">俗客仍当戏子看，笑他口舌作刀刃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">贵阳返遵义车过乌江</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">维谷翻能知退进，驱车再下峰千仞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">人生大戏不言迟，反转悠然在一瞬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梦似星光焚未烬，前头将我苦牵引。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">今朝掬起再相看，依是昔时波燐燐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:22px;">评：坦率地说，一直不爱写仄韵诗，强力应付之作，不忍再读，权当凑数。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:22px;"></span></p>