今生永远忘不了你！‍in This lifetime, we’ll never forget you

HZ Tang

人的一生中，都会有许多刻骨铭心的美好记忆和往事，基本上都与人类有关。可我的这个不是 - 这是一个刚刚成为永恒，关于我家那个被所有人喜爱的快乐小狗娜拉(Nala)的故事。这是一个充满无穷欢乐的生命，也正因为如此，它的黯然中止，让人痛不欲生。所以我以中、英双语写下这个故事，希望所有人和我的儿女也可以与我共同分享这段注定存留一生的美好而悲伤的经历。

In the course of a person’s life, there are many unforgettable and deeply cherished memories—most of them connected to other people. But this story is different. It is about something that has just become eternal—a story about our beloved and joyful little dog, Nala, who was loved by everyone.

Her life was filled with boundless happiness. Precisely because of that, her quiet departure has left us in unbearable pain. I write this story in both Chinese and English so that everyone, including my children, can share in this beautiful yet sorrowful experience that will stay with me forever.

我曾经以为，养狗的人都是因为缺乏强大的内心而需要慰籍。只到11年前，女儿决绝的决定，彻底改变了我的看法。

当时女儿13岁，上初中后期的高级班，与比她高一年级的学生上数学课，感到了很大的压力和紧张。她觉得收养一条可爱的小狗，可以让她比较放松，也让她与不那么柔和的父亲交流变得更容易。

我在北加州跳蚤市场的广告专栏Craigslist 上找到了一条刚出生几个月的卷毛白色小狗马尔济斯贵宾犬（Maltese poodle dog）。与她的主人约好在一个超市外面的停车场见面。

I once believed that people who keep dogs do so because they lack inner strength and need comfort. That belief changed completely 11 years ago because of my daughter’s firm decision.

At the time, my daughter was 13 years old, in an advanced class in middle school. She was taking math courses with students a grade above her and felt immense pressure and anxiety. She believed that adopting a cute puppy would help her relax and also make it easier for her to communicate with her not-so-gentle father.

I found an advertisement on Craigslist at a Northern California flea market listing a young, curly-haired white Maltese–Poodle puppy. We arranged to meet the owner in a supermarket parking lot.

我和夫人开车带女儿赴约。小狗的主人是一个墨西哥裔中年男人，带来家中母狗生的小狗换一点钱。半尺长的白色卷毛小狗放在一个小硬纸盒里，一双明亮的黑色大眼睛，滴溜溜地转个不停，看着我们，没有丝毫认生的感觉，很是可爱。我们给了小狗主人$200 美元后，开车带小狗回家。

女儿把装着小狗的纸盒捧在手心，目不转睛，快乐的心情溢于言表。

她把小狗看作她的女儿，根据一部美国电影狮子王（Lion King)里面的小狗名字，将这只小狗取名娜拉(Nala)。我们也升级为小狗的外公和外婆。

My wife and I drove our daughter there. The owner was a middle-aged Mexican man selling puppies from his dog’s litter for some extra money. The tiny white puppy, about half a foot long, sat in a small cardboard box. Her bright black eyes darted around as she looked at us—completely unafraid, incredibly adorable. We paid $200 and took her home.

My daughter held the box in her hands, staring at the puppy without blinking, her joy overflowing. She saw the puppy as her own daughter and named her Nala, after a character from the American film The Lion King. We were instantly promoted to grandparents.

回到家里，我们才发现Nala的健康状态不佳。她的卷毛打结，内耳因为感染有异味，大小便训练根本没有，变成了在家中地毯上随意大小便的“拉拉”，完全没有一点优雅的样子。我开始把她拴在后院的链子上，但她拒绝睡觉，叫个不停。

我们花了许多时间为Nala打理卫生，治愈耳疾，完成疫苗接种和大小便训练。回家的第二天就让她睡在女儿的床头，使她平静下来，开始适用新的生活。

半年之后Nala已经焕然一新，身体舒展开来，站在那里眼神明亮，充满活力。

When we got home, we realized Nala was not in good health. Her fur was matted, her inner ears smelled from infection, and she had no house training at all—she would relieve herself freely on the carpet, with no elegance whatsoever. I initially tied her in the backyard, but she refused to sleep and barked continuously.

We spent a great deal of time grooming her, treating her ear infection, completing her vaccinations, and training her. On the second day, we let her sleep beside my daughter’s bed, which calmed her and helped her adjust to her new life.

Six months later, Nala was completely transformed—healthy, bright-eyed, and full of energy.

Nala成了我们家的开心果。她会欢快地迎面跑来，迎接每一个家人的回家。她会摇头摆尾地上前，舔舐每个人的手脚。她也会跳上沙发，陪我们一起看电视。她很喜欢翻过身来，露出肚皮，让我们抚摸。家人很久不见，远行归来，她会高兴得围着客厅和餐厅疯狂地奔跑转圈，有一次她的头因此一下撞到了桌腿上摔了一个仰8叉，产生了头皮下血肿和呕吐，让人又好笑又心疼。吃完晚饭收拾好，她常常喜欢从我的腿上跳上桌子，趴在中央，静静地看着家人们忙东忙西。

She became the source of joy in our family. She would run happily to greet each of us when we returned home, wagging her tail, licking our hands and feet. She would jump onto the couch to watch TV with us, roll over to expose her belly for rubs. When family members returned after a long trip, she would run wildly in circles around the living and dining rooms. Once, she ran so fast she hit a table leg, fell flat on her back, and developed a scalp hematoma and vomiting—both amusing and heartbreaking.

After dinner, she often liked to jump from my lap onto the table and lie in the center, quietly watching us go about our tasks.

Nala每天独自在家的时候，都会盼着我们回家。我们的车刚到门口，就可以看到Nala已经从门边的玻璃窗探头在望着我们，就像我们小时候迎接父母回家的模样。

Every day when Nala was home alone, she would quietly wait for us to return. The moment our car pulled up, we could already see her little face peeking through the glass by the door, watching for us with eager eyes—just like the way we once waited as children, longing for our parents to come home

女儿Ruby从Nala那里收获巨大。每天从学校回家，都要抱起Nala，亲了又亲，放在身边陪她学习，并与Nala互动。她的心情平静了许多，顺利地迎接了初、高中的挑战，和那些日子里数不胜数的各种竞赛。女儿进了大学和医学院之后，回家的时间少了，但她每周都会打电话回家，与Nala视频。告别的时候，常常要求母亲代她亲一亲Nala，才恋恋不舍的挂断电话。

My daughter Ruby gained tremendously from Nala. Every day after school, she would hold and kiss her, keeping her by her side while studying and interacting with her. Her mood became much calmer, allowing her to successfully navigate middle school, high school, and countless competitions. Even after entering college and later medical school, she would call home weekly to video chat with Nala, often asking her mother to kiss Nala on her behalf before hanging up reluctantly.

女儿的哥哥Sidney，Nala的舅舅，是Nala眼中的白马王子，每次他回家，Nala都会抱着他的头，狂舔他的脸和嘴，那一刻好像这个世上已经没有了其他人。我们夫妻每次外出旅行，都是Nala的舅舅和他的小狗Chevy, 陪着Nala度过一段愉快的日子。

My son Sidney, Nala’s “uncle,” was her prince charming. Every time he came home, Nala would hold his head and enthusiastically lick his face and mouth, as if nothing else in the world existed. Whenever we traveled, Sidney and his dog Chewy would keep Nala company.

Nala的外婆，照顾Nala无微不至。每天由她喂食，变着花样采购不同的肉食。吃饭的时候也把Nala放在腿上，让她时刻感受家人的温暖。每个周末，或者每当Nala玩得一身泥泞回家，都是由外婆为她洗澡，打理得干干净净。外婆也定期地帮Nala剪去过长的指甲，方便行走。每当天气变热，外婆也负责为她剪去冬天积存下来的厚厚的卷毛，一身轻快地享受夏天。

Nala’s grandmother cared for her with meticulous attention—feeding her daily with a variety of meats, letting her sit on her lap during meals, bathing her regularly, trimming her nails, and grooming her fur, especially in the summer.

我很幸运地成为与Nala最亲近的人。我每天下班最早，回来的第一件事就是带她外出溜弯，这件她每天盼望的事情，走遍了附近所有风景优美的地方。也因为我医生职业习惯的细致，常常很快察觉她的不适而提前干预和治疗，让她很快恢复健康。因此，成了Nala非常依赖的人。只要我在场，她都会选择趴在我的旁边，或者坐在我的腿上， 露出一幅心安理得的模样。

I was fortunate to be the one closest to Nala. I returned home earliest each day and took her on walks—her favorite activity. We explored all the nearby scenic places together. Because of my medical training, I often detected her discomfort early and treated it promptly, helping her recover quickly. She became very dependent on me, always choosing to lie beside me or sit on my lap, looking completely at ease.

Nala最受人欢迎的原因，还是她逢人就撒欢，亲昵别人的可爱模样。

每当女儿的同学们来我家，或者我们家有客人到来，Nala都会特别高兴开始撒欢。她会快乐地奔跑着，踮起脚尖去触碰客人的脚跟，翻过身来，让客人抚摸她的肚皮，并舔舐客人的手指。

What made Nala most beloved was her affectionate nature. She greeted everyone with joy. When guests came over, she would run happily, stand on tiptoe to touch their legs, roll over for belly rubs, and lick their fingers.

无论我们是带她在附近的街道溜弯，还是在野外远足，几乎所有Nala遇到的人和狗，都会成为她的好朋友。她欢快的奔跑和叫声 ，友好的触碰，和任人抚摸的姿态，都能很快拉近人与人之间，狗与狗之间的距离，也让我们遇见了许多友好的素未谋面的陌生人。在美国这个社会里，我们的Nala是一个没有种族偏见，没有文化隔阂，没有性别和年龄歧视的开心果。我们的白人邻居B夫妇非常喜欢Nala，把她称为“社交达狗”(social dog)。

Whether walking in the neighborhood or hiking in nature, nearly every person and dog she met became her friend. Her energy, friendliness, and willingness to be touched brought people closer together. In American society, Nala was a symbol of pure joy—free of racial bias, cultural barriers, gender, or age discrimination. Our neighbors even called her a “social dog.”

Nala充满活力，喜欢经常去附近柏克莱海边公园Cesar Chavez Park公园快乐地溜弯和撒欢，

Nala loved going to Cesar Chavez Park by the Berkeley waterfront, where she could run freely.

Nala陪着我们走过了万水千山，去过了加州许多美丽的地方，走过北加州许多的步道健行，有时候远达7英里（10 公里), 它也从无怨言，哪怕一身泥泞；

She traveled extensively with us across California, hiking trails up to 7 miles long without complaint—even when covered in mud.

最远的距离，是沿着美丽的加州1号公路，从北加州一直开到南加州的洛杉叽，看到了她一生中最美丽的风景。

Her longest journey was along Highway 1 from Northern California to Los Angeles. She enjoyed the most beautiful sceneries in her lifetime.

Nala也陪我们去了洛杉矶送女儿上大学，

She accompanied us when we sent our daughter to college

4年后又参加了我们的女儿的大学毕业典礼，给女儿留下了终生难忘的回忆。

and later attended her graduation, leaving unforgettable memories.

在Nala这个月满11周岁的时候（相当于人类年龄60多岁），女儿的心愿是希望Nala能够陪伴她到医学院毕业。

When Nala turned 11 (equivalent to a human in their 60s), my daughter wished she could stay until she graduated from medical school.

然而，天有不测风云。Nala的身体状况在过去的6个月开始一直在走下坡路：

以前，Nala总是跑在我们前面等我们，但是过去6个月它都是走在我们后面，且常常要等她。尤其在经历过一次左后腿短暂的药物导致的跟腱炎之后，这种下降趋势更明显。但她仍然照常吃饭，路遇行人和狗还是可以短暂的撒欢，有时在家中阵发的呼吸急促，也常常在降温之后消失。所以，我们都误以为，Nala只是老了，走上了逐渐衰退之路。我开始更加小心，Nala上下楼梯和爬坡，都由我们抱着她。出去溜弯，也只带她走很短的平路和下坡路。

However, life is unpredictable. Over the past six months, Nala’s health declined. She used to run ahead of us but began lagging behind. After a medication-induced Achilles tendonitis, her condition also temporarily worsened. Still, she ate normally and occasionally showed bursts of energy, so we thought she was simply aging.

4月4日周六，我们远足群去北加州风景如画的Mori Point海岬健行。有鉴于路途短小平顺，同伴君莉建议我们带Nala同行。我很感谢她的提议，因为我们都没有料到，这次远足成为了记录Nala最后一次陪伴我们，享受人世间美好的绝唱。尽管全程都由大家抱着她。

On April 4th, we took her on a short hike at Mori Point. We didn’t realized this would be her final outing with us. We held her and didn’t let her walking.

这天的晚餐，Nala不吃饭。夫人给她塞了一些狗食，之后Nala发生了呕吐。当天晚上Nala发生了呼吸急促。我们以为又是楼上气温高的原因，所以Nala外婆一如以往，带她睡到了凉爽的楼下。然而，症状没有如往常一样消失，反而加重了。所以第二天早上4/5，我们开车把Nala送到了伯克利狗和猫医院(Berkeley Dog & Cat Hospital)。

兽医的初始判断是急性心衰，答应会做胸片，检查血常规和电解质，开始利尿治疗，但无法做心脏超声检查。傍晚会与我们联系。

晚7点我们全家到了狗医院，胸片显示双侧弥散型小斑片状浸润，无胸水，血常规无升高，没有查体温（没有人那么方便）但兽医觉得无发烧。白天用了利尿剂后，无小便，但有轻微肾功能哀退。换班的兽医是一名ICU医生，鉴于呼吸困难没有改善，医院的老式氧茏门都无法关严，且他怀疑肺动脉高压是主要病因（尽管他无法合理解释为什么会有肺浸润且他认为不是肺部感染)，他建议转院到Concord 的SAGE医院ICU, 那里是方圆附近唯一拥有兽医心脏科医师和做超声心动图的医院，也拥有完善的医疗氧仓。我们同意了，以最快的速度开车送了过去。

That evening, Nala refused to eat. my wife forced some dog food into her, after which Nala vomited. Later that night, she began breathing rapidly. We initially thought it was due to the high temperature upstairs, so Nala’s grandmother did as before, took her to sleep in the cooler downstairs. However, her symptoms did not disappear as they usually would; instead, they worsened. Therefore, on May 5, the next morning, we drove Nala to the Berkeley Dog & Cat Hospital.

The veterinarian’s initial diagnosis was acute heart failure. They agreed to perform a chest X-ray, check blood counts and electrolytes, and begin diuretic therapy, but they were unable to do an echocardiogram. They said they would contact us in the evening.

At 7 p.m., our entire family arrived at the animal hospital. The chest X-ray showed bilateral diffuse patchy infiltrates without pleural effusion. Blood counts were not elevated. No temperature was taken (no one had easy access to a thermometer), but the vet did not think she had a fever. After the daytime use of diuretics, Nala produced no urine, and there was mild renal impairment. The incoming veterinarian was an ICU doctor. Given that the breathing difficulties had not improved, that the hospital’s old oxygen cage door could not be properly sealed, and that he suspected pulmonary hypertension as the primary cause (though he could not fully explain the lung infiltrates and did not believe it was a pulmonary infection), he recommended transferring Nala to the ICU at SAGE Hospital in Concord. That hospital was the only one in the vicinity with a veterinary cardiologist and the ability to perform echocardiograms, as well as a fully equipped medical oxygen chamber. We agreed and drove her there as quickly as possible

4/6 周六，SAGE医院兽医，心脏ICU的J医生打电话告诉我，超声波显示Nala的左心功能正常，但有严重的右心室扩大和肺动脉高压，他认为这是呼吸衰竭和肺部浸润的原因。尽管胸片显示肺浸润变得严重，他停掉了利尿剂和抗菌素，用上了“伟哥”治疗肺动脉高压，并且给了一剂抗栓剂。他说狗的症状，与我们的人类病人不一样。我和女儿进去看了Nala，她盯着我们看，呼吸频率较前一天有所减轻。护士说Nala仍不肯进食，J医生打算给一点静脉输液，改善恶化的肾功能不全。

我和读医学院的女儿商量了一下Nala的病情。考虑到诊断检查都已完成，而Nala在医院己经3天无进食且产生肾功能不全，如果明天继续稳定，可以考虑订好氧气设备带她回家，由我们自己继续用药和给予更细化的治疗。

4/7 号凌晨四点，我花了很多时间网上搜索完制氧机和便携氧气瓶租借信息，准备如果情况稳定就下单。早上7点， SAGE医院的夜班医生电话来了，告诉我Nala的呼吸衰竭恶化，氧气和重新利尿及停止静脉输液（昨晚已输120 ml)都没有效果，继续治疗的效果极𣎴看好，怀疑已经产生死亡率极高的呼吸窘迫综合征ARDS, 希望我们尽快去医院。8点钟的白班B医生的电话来了，核实了Nala的病情在继续恶化，希望我们尽快赶到。

我赶紧用电话通知了夫人、女儿、儿子一起尽快赶回家，由我开车一起去医院。

几天的挣扎和希望，在这一刻近乎绝望了。女儿一边开车回家，一边失声痛哭，让我千万别挂电话，陪伴她安全回家。

在这个时侯，我的心情也非常差。但作为一名医生，我得理性思考。就在昨晚，我已经和女儿及家人考虑了各种可能的诊断和治疗，以及最怀情况下的安乐死(Euthanasia)和火化(Cremation)的选择。等大家都到家后，我让夫人带上一点酸奶，牛奶，调羹，和注射器。如果Nala还能进食，我仍然打算带她回家，作最后的一次拼搏！我内心在流泪 - 哪怕还有1%的机会，我也不要Nala离开！

到了医院，护士带我们进了ICU。Nala看到了我们，想要挣扎着站起来，但实在是太虚弱。她的呼吸很急促，在腹式呼吸下，嘴巴一张一合。但她依然睁着大大的黑眼睛，看着我们，好像生怕我们会离开。

征得了护士的同意后，我试着喂一点酸奶给Nala, 但她拒绝进食，也无法进食。在这种情况下，我们家人进行了最后的商量： 女儿一边大哭，一边说，我不要Nala离开，但我更不想让Nala继续承受这么严重的痛苦了！大家表示同感，决定由兽医实行安乐死e。

Tests revealed severe pulmonary hypertension with right heart enlargement, and the veterinarian changed treatments to a single medication for this condition alone.

Despite treatment, her condition deteriorated rapidly. On April 7th, we were told she likely developed acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), with a very poor prognosis.

We rushed to the hospital. Nala was struggling to breathe but still looked at us with her large eyes, as if afraid we might leave.

We tried to feed her yogurt, but she refused. After a final family discussion, we made the heartbreaking decision to let her go peacefully.

这个决定就像压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草，大家的情绪瞬间就崩溃了。失声痛哭。我要求兽医让我们家人在药物注射前都能抱一下Nala, 作最后的告别。我们每个人都流着泪，轮番抱起Nala, 告诉它会要去再无痛苦的地方，我们永远都不会忘了她，要带她回家，并亲吻它。

之后，兽医把Nala摆在台子的睡垫上，开始注射丙泊酚(propofol), 我们围在周围。一针下去，Nala的头部活动和呼吸都马上停止了，接下来一钟苯巴比妥(phenobarbital), Nala就完全失去了生命体征。一个鲜活的生命，就在我们的眼前，几分钟之内就停止了跳动，这是我们一生中从未经历过的撕心裂肺的惨痛经历！这个时候，Nala的左鼻孔流出了一些血色的液体，看上去来自肺部感染。那一刻让我感到，肺动脉高压应该有好几个月了(女儿精辟地分析出，阻塞性呼吸障碍是最可能的原因)，吸入性肺炎可能才是压垮她的最终原因。

之后护士把我们送到旁边的小会客室等候。清理Nala遗容后，护士把她的遗体抱过来，让我们与她呆一段时间，寄托我们的哀思。

This decision felt like the final straw that broke the camel’s back; everyone’s emotions collapsed in an instant. We broke down in uncontrollable sobs. I asked the veterinarian to let each member of our family hold Nala one last time before the injections, to say our final goodbyes. With tears streaming down our faces, each of us took turns holding her, telling her she was going to a place free of pain, that we would never forget her, that we would take her home, and kissing her.

After that, the veterinarian placed Nala on a cushioned pad on the table and began the injection of propofol. We stood around her. With the first injection, Nala’s head movements and breathing stopped almost immediately. Then phenobarbital was administered, and Nala completely lost all vital signs. A living being, right before our eyes, stopped within just a few minutes—this was a heart-wrenching and devastating experience unlike anything we had ever gone through in our lives. At that moment, a blood-tinged fluid flowed from Nala’s left nostril, appearing to come from a pulmonary infection. It made me feel that pulmonary hypertension had likely been present for several months(of that daughter logically figured it most likely resulted from Nala’s OSA), and that aspiration pneumonia might have been the final cause that overwhelmed her.

Afterward, the nurse escorted us to a small waiting room nearby. Once Nala had been cleaned and prepared, the nurse brought her body to us, allowing us to spend some time with her and grieve in our own way

Nala好像刚刚睡着了，大大的黑眼睛张开着，但再也无法回应我们的呼唤。我们每个人都轮流抱着Nala柔软的身体和她说着话，流着眼泪轻吻着她。我们都告诉她，没有她在家的这几天，对我们的打击有多么大。她是我们家的小孩，我们是多么地不愿她离开，也是多么地想念她，我们还没有爱够她！

女儿告诉Nala, 多么希望她能够陪伴自己读完医学院，多么希望她还有许多年，和我们分享在一起的无尽快乐。

夫人告诉Nala，几天不见她，每天早上起床，每天回家的时候，和每天晚餐的时候看不见她，心里是何等的难过和失落。

轮到我的时候，我己经无法控制，号啕大哭。我告诉Nala，没有了她的陪伴，我每天在Nala经过的每一个地方都让我想念她，而无法自拔。我告诉Nala，在我百年之后，一定会去找她，到时候千万要记得与我打招呼啊……

儿子一直围绕着Nala泪流满面。抱着Nala在我们面前却一直说不出话来。我们理解他的心情，大家离开房间让他单独与Nala在一起呆几分钟，以免那种深深的悲痛伤到了身心。

离开医院之前，我们选择了让Nala单独火化（individual cremation), 骨灰装在一个可以装照片的盒子里，会在两周后交给我们。我们准备将她带回家，让她永远和我们在一起。

Nala seemed to have just fallen asleep. Her big black eyes were still open, yet she could no longer respond to our calls. One by one, each of us held her soft body, spoke to her, kissed her through our tears. We all told her how deeply her absence over these past few days had affected us. She was our child, and we were so unwilling to let her go, and we missed her so much—we had not yet loved her enough.

Our daughter told Nala how much she wished Nala could stay by her side through medical school, how she wished there were still many years ahead for them to share endless joy together.

My wife told Nala how, during these past few days without her, every morning upon waking, every time she came home, and every dinner without seeing her, brought such profound sadness and emptiness.

When it was my turn, I completely lost control and broke down in loud sobs. I told Nala that without her companionship, every place she had ever been now made me think of her, and I could not free myself from the longing. I told her that after my lifetime is over, I will surely go find her—and when that time comes, she must remember to greet me.

Our son stayed by Nala’s side, tears streaming down his face. Holding her in his arms, he could not say a word. We understood his feelings, so we all left the room to give him a few minutes alone with Nala, so that such overwhelming grief would not harm him in body and spirit.

Before leaving the hospital, we chose individual cremation for Nala. Her ashes will be placed in a box that can hold a photo and will be returned to us in two weeks. We plan to bring her home, so she can be with us forever.

回到家中，每一个角落再也看不到Nala以往无处不在的音容笑貌，大家都感到无比的失落。3天的时间，仿若隔世 - 几天前还抱在手中的鲜活生命，如今只剩下一个念想，这是一个完全无法接受的事实。家中的每一个人，都会因为任何一种触景生情的落差，而痛哭不止。

女儿和母亲在悲伤中，默默收集了Nala的所有遗物，把它们都装在一个Nala平时洗澡用的大塑料盒中，准备放在一个“Nala角落”的地方，让Nala的魂魄时刻都能接触到我们，不会走远。

Returning home, her absence was unbearable. Every corner reminded us of her. My daughter and wife gathered her belongings into a special “Nala corner.”

儿子在回家前，紧紧拥抱了我。这是他高中毕业之后，第一次与父亲的肢体接触。他感受到了父亲心中无以复加的痛苦和悲伤。我们4个人然后相拥在一起，让内心的失落尽情地宣泄，也用家人的力量彼此疗伤。

Nala去世后的第二天，早上6点醒来，我习惯性的在床上找Nala, 准备抱她去楼下后院草坪大小便，突然意识到她已不在而泪流不止；女儿此刻也起床，哭着从楼下走上来，准备去上班，我们相拥而泣，为失去Nala而痛苦。冥冥之中，宋代大诗人苏轼的《江城子》在我耳边响起：

“十年生死两茫茫，不思量，自难忘。

千里孤坟，无处话凄凉。

纵使相逢应不识，尘满面，鬓如霜。

夜来幽梦忽还乡，小轩窗，正梳妆。

相顾无言，惟有泪千行。

料得年年肠断处，明月夜，短松冈。”

早上的阳光照进落地窗，洒满餐厅，我坐在桌边的椅子上，下意识地看向身边，那是平日里Nala躺在我边上晒太阳的地方。现在却是空空如也，让人黯然神伤。

My son hugged me tightly—the first time since his high school graduation. We held each other, sharing our grief.

The next morning, I instinctively looked for Nala beside my bed and broke down in tears. My daughter came upstairs crying as well. Lines from a Song Dynasty poem echoed in my mind, expressing the pain of loss.

Sunlight filled the dining room, but the spot where Nala used to lie was empty.

下午3点是我平时带Nala去Cesar Chavez Park公园溜弯的地方，如今我已经不敢独自再去了，我怕会幻觉到Nala充满活力的倩影；我怕又会见到两只狗拖着的高空风筝，让我想起天堂的信使；

3 p.m. was the time I used to take Nala for a walk at Cesar Chavez Park. Now, I no longer dare to go there alone. I’m afraid I might see an illusion of her lively figure; I’m afraid I might once again see the kites soaring high in the sky, pulled by two dogs, reminding me of messengers from heaven.

我也怕自己的心情会变得跟宋代大诗人范仲淹《苏幕遮·怀旧》的心情那样的悲哀：

“碧云天，黄叶地，秋色连波，波上寒烟翠。

山映斜阳天接水，芳草无情，更在斜阳外。

黯乡魂，追旅思，夜夜除非，好梦留人睡。

明月楼高休独倚，酒入愁肠，化作相思泪。”

女儿遗传了我的秉性，同样也非常受伤。她虽然经常性的为Nala流泪，但她也非常关心我这个父亲，希望我能保护好自己。她告诉我，她的一个朋友的父亲也跟我一样，平时是一个很坚强的人，在爱犬去世后，再也抑制不住自己而泪湿衣棠。她们一家人被一首古老的英文诗的传说深深感动和得到疗伤，所以转送给女儿，希望能帮到我们：

My daughter has inherited my temperament and is just as deeply hurt. Although she often sheds tears for Nala, she is also very concerned about me as her father and hopes that I will take good care of myself. She told me that a friend of hers has a father much like me—usually a very strong person—who, after the passing of his beloved dog, could no longer hold back his grief and found his clothes soaked with tears. Their whole family was deeply moved and comforted by the legend of an old English poem, so they passed it on to my daughter, hoping it might help us as well;

《彩虹桥》

“有一座桥，连接着天堂与人间。因为它绚丽多彩，人们称它为“彩虹桥”。在彩虹桥的这一侧，有一片土地，那里有草地、丘陵和山谷，绿草如茵，生机盎然。

当一只被深爱的宠物离开人世，它便会来到这里。

那里永远有充足的食物和清水，气候如温暖的春天。年老衰弱的动物会重新变得年轻；曾经生病、受伤或痛苦的，也都会恢复健康与完整。

然而，那里仍缺少一件最重要的东西 - 它们无法与曾在世间深爱它们的主人相伴。于是，它们每天奔跑、嬉戏，直到有一天，其中一只忽然停下脚步，抬起头来——鼻子轻轻抽动，耳朵竖起，目光专注地凝视远方。它从伙伴中奔跑而出，因为，它看见了你。

当你与这位特别的朋友重逢，你将它紧紧拥入怀中。它一遍又一遍地舔吻你的脸，你再次凝望你最忠诚、最信任的伙伴的眼睛。然后，你们一起跨过彩虹桥，从此再也不分离”

“ The Rainbow Bridge

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of all its beautiful colors.Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies,the pet goes to this place.

There is always food and water and warm spring weather. The old and frail animals are young again.Those who were sick, hurt or in pain are made whole again.

There is only one thing missing,they are not with their special person who loved them so much on earth. So each day they run and play until the day

comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up! The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are staring and this one runs from the group! You have been seen and when you and your special friend meet, you take him in your arms and hug him.He licks and kisses your face again and again -and you look once more into the eyes of your best friend and trusting pet. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together

never again to be apart.”

岁月像一张白纸，每个人画出自己的色彩；

岁月也像是流水，一去不回返，抽刀断水愁更愁；

岁月更像是天空，它承载了每个人无尽的念想……

Time is like a blank sheet of paper, upon which each person paints their own colors.

Time is also like flowing water—once gone, it never returns; trying to cut it off only deepens one’s sorrow.

And time is like the vast sky, carrying everyone’s endless thoughts and longings......

我已经告诉Nala:

“今生我们永远忘不了你，

百年之后我一定会来找到你！”

再见了，

我们的Nala!

……

I have already told Nala:

“In this lifetime, we will never forget you.

After a hundred years, I will come find you.”

Goodbye,

our Nala

……