<p class="ql-block">微言释增广贤文》13</p><p class="ql-block"> </p><p class="ql-block">原文：</p><p class="ql-block">守口如瓶，防意如城。宁可人负我，切莫我负人。再三须慎意，第一莫欺心。虎生犹可近，人熟不堪亲。来说是非者，便是是非人。</p><p class="ql-block">Original text: </p><p class="ql-block">Keep your mouth like a bottle, and guard against it like a city. I'd rather others let me down than let me down. Repeatedly, you must be careful, and the first thing is not to deceive your heart. The tiger is still close, but the people are familiar and unbearable. Those who speak of right and wrong are right and wrong</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">注释：</p><p class="ql-block">“守口如瓶，防意如城”是一个汉语成语，意指言语上严守秘密如同瓶口密封，心理上克制私欲如同城池防御，强调谨慎言行和自律克己的道德修养原则。 该成语源自宋代文献，最初为北宋名相富弼的处世准则，后成为儒家修身体系的核心概念，广泛应用于政治纪律、心理咨询等领域。守口如瓶其出处，最早源自《论语·颜渊》中“非礼勿言”的思想，后演变为成语。防意如城的出处是化用《后汉书·马援传》“城者，所以自守也”的防御理念。告诫人们既要管住嘴巴（不妄言泄密），也要管住内心（不滋生不良念头），体现内外兼修的道德自律。类似“谨言慎行”“克己复礼”的处世智慧。</p><p class="ql-block">Note: </p><p class="ql-block">"Keeping your mouth tight like a bottle, guarding against intentions like a city" is a Chinese idiom, which means that strict keeping secrets in words is like sealing the mouth of a bottle, and psychological restraint of selfish desires is like a city defense, emphasizing the moral cultivation principle of prudent words and deeds and self-discipline and self-denial The idiom originated from Song Dynasty documents, originally as the code of conduct for the famous minister Fu Bi of the Northern Song Dynasty, and later became the core concept of the Confucian self-cultivation system, widely used in political discipline, psychological counseling and other fields Keep your mouth shut like a bottle Its origin first originated from the idea of "don't speak of indecent things" in the Analects of Confucius Yan Yuan, and later evolved into an idiom The origin of the defense is to use the defense concept of "the city is the one who defends itself" in the "Book of the Later Han Dynasty: The Biography of Ma Yuan". He warned people to keep their mouths shut (not to leak secrets) and their hearts (not to breed bad thoughts), so as to reflect moral self-discipline both internally and externally. The wisdom of life is similar to "cautious words and deeds" and "self-denial and courtesy</p> <p class="ql-block">“宁可人负我，不可我负人”表达的核心含义是宁可他人辜负自己，也不让自己辜负他人，体现了儒家忠恕思想中严于律己、宽厚待人的道德准则。这是一种强调自我牺牲以避免伤害他人，其中“负”指背弃诺言或辜负。其思想根基源于儒家“己所不欲，勿施于人”的忠恕之道，主张通过克己实现人际和谐。从文献记载上，最早可追溯至明代叶子奇《草木子·杂俎篇》，被《中华谚语大辞典》等收录为民间谚语；《增广贤文》中表述为“宁可人负我，切莫我负人”，进一步强化修身要求。我们很熟悉的一句话，“宁我负人，毋人负我”这是三国曹操讲的话或“宁教我负天下人”等形成鲜明对立，后者体现极端利己，而本谚语倡导道德自律。</p><p class="ql-block">The core meaning of the expression "I would rather others fail me than let others down" is that I would rather let others fail me than let myself down others, reflecting the moral code of strict self-discipline and generosity in Confucian loyalty and forgiveness It is a type that emphasizes self-sacrifice to avoid harming others, where "negative" refers to breaking a promise or failing to do so. Its ideological roots stem from the Confucian way of loyalty and forgiveness of "do not do to others what you do not want to do", which advocates achieving interpersonal harmony through self-denial From the literature records, it can be traced back to the Ming Dynasty Ye Ziqi's "Grass and Wood Children: Miscellaneous Chapters", which was included as a folk proverb in the "Dictionary of Chinese Proverbs"; In the "Zengguang Xianwen", it is expressed as "I would rather let others down me than let me down", further strengthening the requirements for self-cultivation A saying we are very familiar with, "I would rather let others down, no one will let me down" is the words of Cao Cao of the Three Kingdoms or "I would rather teach me to bear the people of the world", etc., forming a stark opposition, the latter embodies extreme self-interest, and this proverb advocates moral self-discipline</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">这句作为传统处世智慧，对现代人有什么启示呢？首先它体现出道德自律的现代价值，强调个体应超越功利算计，坚守道德底线，即使他人失信，也要保持“不欺心”的自我约束。现代商业社会中，我的乡贤曹德旺就讲要将道德准则置于短期利益之上。晋商乔致庸“宁可伙计负我，不可我负伙计”的胸怀，与博世集团“宁可承受损失，不可毁弃信任”的供应链管理，均印证了这种思想对现代信任体系的价值。它提示我们，宽容他人失信可能转化为长期合作优势，而主动失信则会破坏社会资本积累。这里主张以退让化解冲突，如范仲淹面对族人侵吞义田时选择教化而非报复，这种“利他性容忍”在当代职场和家庭纠纷中仍具指导意义。部分学者指出，过度强调该原则可能导致道德绑架。当代应用需平衡原则性与灵活性，避免陷入“无条件忍让”的误区。这种穿越千年的智慧，本质是要求现代人在复杂社会中保持“有所为有所不为”的定力，既不失底线，也不失温度。</p><p class="ql-block">As a traditional wisdom in life, what does this sentence enlighten modern people? First of all, it embodies the modern value of moral self-discipline, emphasizing that individuals should go beyond utilitarian calculations, stick to the bottom line of morality, and maintain self-restraint of "not deceiving" even if others are untrustworthy. In modern business society, my fellow townsman Cao Dewang said that moral standards should be prioritized over short-term interests. Shanxi businessman Qiao Zhiyong's mind of "I'd rather bear the loss than I should bear the partner" and the supply chain management of the Bosch Group "I'd rather bear the loss than destroy the trust" both confirm the value of this idea to the modern trust system. It reminds us that tolerating others' dishonesty may be transformed into long-term cooperation advantages, while active dishonesty will destroy social capital accumulation. For example, Fan Zhongyan chose to indoctrinate rather than retaliate in the face of his clansmen's encroachment on Yitian, and this "altruistic tolerance" is still guiding in contemporary workplace and family disputes. Some scholars point out that overemphasizing this principle can lead to moral kidnapping. Contemporary applications need to balance principle with flexibility to avoid falling into the misunderstanding of "unconditional tolerance". The essence of this kind of wisdom that has traveled through thousands of years requires modern people to maintain the determination of "doing something and not doing something" in a complex society, without losing the bottom line or temperature</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">“再三须慎意，第一莫欺心”强调言行处事必须秉持谨慎与真诚的原则。反复思考以规避风险，同时坚守本心、避免自欺或欺人。 这一格言是传统处世哲学的核心，指导人们在决策中平衡理性与道德。在商业领域，许多成功的企业家都深谙“慎意”之道。马云在创立阿里巴巴之前，对互联网行业进行了深入的研究和分析。他看到了中国电子商务市场的巨大潜力，但同时也意识到其中存在的诸多风险和挑战。于是，他反复思考商业模式、团队组建、市场推广等各个方面的问题，经过长时间的筹备和规划，才最终迈出了创业的第一步。正是因为他的谨慎和深思熟虑，阿里巴巴才得以在激烈的市场竞争中脱颖而出，成为全球知名的互联网企业。</p><p class="ql-block">"Be cautious again and again, don't deceive your heart first" emphasizes that words and deeds must uphold the principles of prudence and sincerity. Think twice to avoid risk, while sticking to your heart and avoiding self-deception or deception This motto is central to traditional philosophies of life, guiding people in balancing rationality and morality in their decision-making. In the business world, many successful entrepreneurs are well versed in the way of "prudence". Before founding Alibaba, Jack Ma conducted in-depth research and analysis on the Internet industry. He sees the huge potential of China's e-commerce market, but he is also aware of the many risks and challenges that exist. Therefore, he repeatedly thought about various aspects such as business model, team formation, and marketing, and finally took the first step in entrepreneurship after a long period of preparation and planning. It is precisely because of his caution and deliberation that Alibaba has been able to stand out in the fierce market competition and become a world-renowned Internet company</p> <p class="ql-block">在个人生活中，“慎意”同样至关重要。当我们面临职业选择、婚姻大事等重要决策时，不能仅仅凭借一时的冲动或他人的意见就轻易做出决定。我们应该静下心来，认真分析自己的兴趣、能力和价值观，同时也要考虑家庭、社会等因素的影响。只有这样，我们才能做出符合自己内心期望和长远利益的决策，避免因一时疏忽而给自己带来不必要的麻烦和损失。</p><p class="ql-block">In personal life, "prudence" is also crucial. When we are faced with important decisions such as career choices and marriage events, we cannot make decisions easily based on impulse or the opinions of others. We should calm down and carefully analyze our interests, abilities and values, while also considering the influence of family, society and other factors. Only in this way can we make decisions that meet our inner expectations and long-term interests, and avoid unnecessary trouble and losses caused to ourselves due to momentary negligence</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">“再三须慎意”与“第一莫欺心”并非孤立存在，而是相互关联、相辅相成的。当我们将慎意与莫欺心融入到自我修养中时，我们就能够不断提升自己的道德品质和人格魅力。在面对困难和挫折时，我们能够保持冷静和理智，通过慎意的思考找到解决问题的方法；同时，我们也能够坚守自己的内心，不被外界的干扰和诱惑所左右，始终保持积极向上的心态。</p><p class="ql-block">"Be cautious again and again" and "the first do not deceive" do not exist in isolation, but are interrelated and complementary. When we integrate prudence and non-deception into self-cultivation, we can continuously improve our moral character and personality charm. In the face of difficulties and setbacks, we can remain calm and rational and find solutions to problems through careful thinking; At the same time, we can also stick to our hearts, not be swayed by external interference and temptations, and always maintain a positive attitude</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">“虎生犹可近，人熟不堪亲”强调对陌生事物可谨慎接触，但对熟悉之人更需保持警惕。这一观点揭示了人际交往中的潜在风险，提醒人们需理性处理人际关系。 </p><p class="ql-block">"Tigers are still close, and people are not familiar" emphasizes that you can be cautious about unfamiliar things, but you need to be more vigilant about familiar people. This perspective reveals potential risks in interpersonal interactions and reminds people of the need to handle relationships rationally</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">对陌生事物保持谨慎，即使面对看似危险的事物（如野生动物），只要保持适当距离、避免主动挑衅，通常不会引发冲突。这种谨慎态度适用于未知领域或新环境，有助于降低风险。 对熟人保持分寸，熟悉之人可能因利益冲突、性格差异或情感绑架等因素带来更大伤害。历史案例显示，亲友间的背叛往往因过度信任引发，因此需保留理性判断。 人性具有不可预测性，即便关系亲密也可能因利益、情绪等因素突然翻脸。例如“亲兄弟明算账”的案例表明，血缘关系尚且存在利益纠纷，更不用说普通朋友了。 社交上我们提倡“君子之交淡如水”的交往方式，避免与他人过度捆绑；在亲密关系中也要设立底线，防止被利用或伤害，难怪有人说伤害你的人往往多是你最亲近的人。 </p><p class="ql-block">Be cautious of unfamiliar things, even in the face of seemingly dangerous things (such as wild animals), as long as you keep an appropriate distance and avoid active provocations, it usually does not cause conflict. This caution applies to uncharted territories or new environments, helping to reduce risks Be measured with acquaintances, who may cause more harm due to factors such as conflicts of interest, personality differences or emotional kidnapping. Historical cases show that betrayal between relatives and friends is often caused by excessive trust, so rational judgment needs to be reserved Human nature is unpredictable, and even if the relationship is intimate, it may suddenly turn against each other due to interests, emotions and other factors. For example, the case of "brothers settling accounts" shows that there are still disputes of interest in blood relations, let alone ordinary friends socially, we advocate the communication style of "gentlemen's friendship is as light as water" to avoid excessive binding with others; It is also necessary to set a bottom line in intimate relationships to prevent being used or harmed, and it is no wonder that some people say that the people who hurt you are often the people closest to you</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">接下来这是一句揭示深刻的道理的俗语，它讲热衷于传播他人闲话、搬弄是非的人，往往本身就是制造矛盾或心怀不轨的源头。那些频繁议论他人隐私、夸大或扭曲事实的人，其动机往往不单纯。他们可能通过挑拨关系来满足自己的私欲，或转移自身问题。遇到爱传闲话的人，应保持距离。参与其中可能被牵连，甚至成为他人眼中的“是非者”。</p><p class="ql-block">Next, this is a proverb that reveals profound truths, which says that people who are keen on spreading other people's gossip and gossiping are often the source of contradictions or bad intentions. Those who frequently discuss the privacy of others, exaggerate or distort facts often have more than simple motives. They may satisfy their own desires or divert their own problems by provoking relationships. When you encounter people who love to gossip, you should keep your distance. Participating in it may be implicated or even become a "right and wrong" in the eyes of others</p><p class="ql-block">这句话也警示我们要反思自身言行，若习惯评价他人私事，可能在不自觉中成为“是非人”。真正的修养是“静坐常思己过，闲谈莫论人非”。显然健康的关系建立在真诚与尊重上，而非八卦或贬低他人。专注自身成长，而非他人是非，是更高明的处世之道。</p><p class="ql-block">This sentence also warns us to reflect on our own words and deeds, if we are accustomed to evaluating other people's private affairs, we may unconsciously become "right and wrong". The real cultivation is "sitting quietly and thinking about one's own faults, and talking about others". Obviously, a healthy relationship is built on sincerity and respect, not gossiping or belittling others. Focusing on one's own growth, rather than the right and wrong of others, is a smarter way to live</p>