孤独还是来了

李博渊

　　多少个学生时代里，我只能远远看着你们，独自承受着孤独。

你们聚在一起，兴致勃勃地谈论着一个个偶像，说着一句句热梗，打着一把把游戏，吃着一盒盒外卖，抽着一包包香烟，打牌玩麻将。你们拉着我的手对我说，朋友，一起来玩。我只能无奈微笑，任你撒手而去。

我和你们一起唱过歌，玩过游戏，打过牌，谈过偶像，说过热梗，吃过外卖。甚至为彼此鼓过掌，一同大声欢笑，一同受过责罚。明明参与了你们，独自走在路上，再看你们，为什么还会有一种疏离感。

是我们之间小小的不愉快吗？是我们已经不如孩子似的无所顾忌了吗？还是我把头埋得太低，栽进了书里，显得太正经，让你远离。

朋友！拿一本书在路上，我怕你嘲笑，看多了你们那异样的眼神，再去读，心里没有味道，更多的是怀疑与不安了。去医院，去书店，去锻炼，没有你和我一起，故事只属于我一人，没机会倾诉，也难免疏远了。

看！一个灵魂在踽踽独行，他还要自己走下去。

英文版:

How many times during my school years could I only watch you from afar, bearing loneliness on my own.

You gathered in groups, talking excitedly about idols, repeating trending memes, playing round after round of games, eating box after box of takeout, smoking pack after pack of cigarettes, playing cards and mahjong. You took my hand and said, “Friend, come join us.” I could only smile helplessly and let go as you walked away.

I sang with you, played games, joined card games, talked about idols, shared memes, ate takeout. We even clapped for each other, laughed out loud together, and got punished side by side. Even though I was part of it all, walking alone on the road, looking back at you—why do I still feel this sense of distance?

Was it the small frictions between us? Was it that we’re no longer like children, free from care? Or was it because I kept my head buried in books, acting too serious, that made you drift away?

Friend! I carry a book on the road, afraid you’ll laugh at me. After seeing too many of your strange looks, reading no longer brings joy—only doubt and unease. Going to the hospital, the bookstore, working out—without you by my side, the stories belong only to me. With no one to share them with, it’s hard not to grow distant.

Look! A soul walks alone, and he must keep walking by himself。

关于孤独，分享德国作家黑塞的《荒原狼》，希望能给你启发。