<p class="ql-block">原文：</p><p class="ql-block">在家不会迎宾客，出门方知少故人。黄芩无假，阿魏无真。客来主不顾，自是无良宾。良宾主不顾，应恐是痴人。贫居闹市无人问，富在深山有远亲。</p><p class="ql-block">Original text: </p><p class="ql-block">I will not welcome guests at home, and I will know that there are few old friends when I go out. Scutellaria is not fake, and asafoetida is not real. When guests arrive, the host does not care about them, and from then on, there are no good guests. Good guests and hosts ignore it; it must be a fool. No one cares about living in poverty in the busy city, and rich people have distant relatives in the mountains</p> <p class="ql-block">注释：</p><p class="ql-block">“在家不会迎宾客，出门方知少故人”是对现代人的人际交往与处世哲学。社交关系是双向性的，礼尚往来在现代社交中是维系关系的基石，若长期忽视他人需求，在自身需要帮助时可能面临孤立。这如同银行储蓄，日常的礼貌与关怀是“存款”，冷漠则是“透支”，最终影响人际资源的可调用性。</p><p class="ql-block">Note: </p><p class="ql-block">"I will not welcome guests at home, and I will know my old friends when I go out" is a philosophy of interpersonal communication and life for modern people. Social relationships are two-way, and etiquette is the cornerstone of maintaining relationships in modern society, and if you ignore the needs of others for a long time, you may face isolation when you need help. This is like bank savings, daily politeness and care are "deposits", and indifference is "overdraft", which ultimately affects the availability of interpersonal resources</p><p class="ql-block">如《礼记》中的“肃客而入”在现在可转化主动引座，会议前准备茶点等细节，体现对合作方的尊重。在跨国交往中需注意差异与习惯，如中东客户偏好右手递物、欧美商务场合的守时观念，避免因文化误解导致关系疏离。</p><p class="ql-block">For example, the "guest entering" in the "Book of Rites" can now be transformed into details such as taking the initiative to introduce seats and preparing refreshments before the meeting, reflecting respect for partners. In cross-border exchanges, it is necessary to pay attention to differences and habits, such as Middle Eastern customers prefer right-hand delivery, and the punctuality concept of European and American business occasions to avoid alienation caused by cultural misunderstandings</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">我们还要注意短期利益与长期信任的平衡，过度追求“人脉变现”易导致关系功利化，而真诚待客（如记住对方喜好）才能建立持久信任。我们的社会现在已呈现孤独经济的状况，现代人依赖外卖、网购等减少社交的场景，可能加剧“少故人”困境，如不主动创造线下互动机会，将不堪想象。社交的本质是“情感交护而非单方面索取。无论是家庭聚会还是商务合作。这句话提醒人们要以己度人，践行推己及人的儒家伦理。</p><p class="ql-block">We should also pay attention to the balance between short-term interests and long-term trust, excessive pursuit of "network monetization" can easily lead to relationship utilitarianization, and sincere hospitality (such as remembering each other's preferences) can build lasting trust. Our society is now showing a lonely economy, and modern people rely on takeaway, online shopping and other scenes to reduce social interaction, which may exacerbate the dilemma of "less old friends". The essence of social interaction is "emotional protection rather than unilateral demand." Whether it's a family gathering or a business collaboration. This sentence reminds people to save others with themselves and practice the Confucian ethics of pushing themselves and others</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">黄芩因分布广泛、产量大且易识别，市场极少出现赝品。阿魏为西域稀有药材，古代中原罕见真品，多因伪造或替代品充斥市场。此句谚语在《本草纲目》中被列为药材鉴伪共识，徐应秋《玉芝堂谈荟》则赋予其识人辨心的哲学内涵。另有“黄金无假，阿魏无真”的变体，强调黄金因流通广而难造假，与阿魏形成对比。其实这里是在批判利益至上导致的价值扭曲与文化符号的演变。明代文献中该谚语从药材鉴伪扩展至道德训诫，反映社会对诚信缺失的集体焦虑。</p><p class="ql-block">Due to its wide distribution, large yield and easy to identify, scutellaria rarely appears in the market. Asafoetida is a rare medicinal material in the Western Regions, and it is rare and genuine in the ancient Central Plains, mostly due to counterfeiting or substitutes flooding the market. This proverb is listed as a consensus on the identification of medicinal materials in the "Compendium of Materia Medica", and Xu Yingqiu's "Yuzhitang Tanhui" gives it the philosophical connotation of recognizing people and distinguishing hearts. There is also a variant of "gold is not fake, asafoetida is not true", emphasizing that gold is difficult to counterfeit due to its wide circulation, in contrast to asafoetida. In fact, this is a criticism of the value distortion and the evolution of cultural symbols caused by the supremacy of interests. In Ming Dynasty literature, the proverb expanded from the detection of counterfeiting of medicinal materials to moral admonitions, reflecting the collective anxiety of society about the lack of integrity</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">“客来主不顾，自是无良宾；良宾方不顾，应恐是痴人”，通过宾主关系的对比，揭示了人际交往中的待客之道与处世智慧。我们逐句解析一下这几句话，“客来主不顾，自是无良宾”，指主人不招待来访的客人，说明对方可能是品行不佳或不受欢迎的“无良宾”。这种客人或许怀有恶意（如寻衅闹事），或缺乏基本礼节，故主人选择冷淡对待。“良宾方不顾，应恐是痴人”，若主人怠慢的是德才兼备的“良宾”（如尊贵客人、贤能之士），则暴露主人愚钝不明事理。传统文化中，礼遇贤才被视为修养与智慧的体现，忽视良宾可能错失机遇或损害声誉。</p><p class="ql-block">"If the guest comes and the master does not care, there will be no good guest; through the comparison of the relationship between guest and host, the way of hospitality and wisdom in interpersonal communication are revealed. Let's analyze these sentences sentence by sentence, "If the guest does not care about the host, he is an unscrupulous guest", which refers to the host not entertaining the visiting guests, indicating that the other party may be an "unscrupulous guest" with poor conduct or unpopularity. This kind of guest may have malicious intentions (such as picking quarrels and causing trouble), or lack basic etiquette, so the host chooses to treat it coldly If the host neglects the "good guest" (such as a distinguished guest and a virtuous person), it will expose the master's stupidity and ignorance. In traditional culture, courtesy to talents is seen as a manifestation of cultivation and wisdom, and ignoring good guests may miss opportunities or damage reputatio</p><p class="ql-block">这里主人需根据客人性质调整态度，对不良宾客可疏远，但对良宾应热情相待，否则反映自身短视，这强调了人际交往中尊重与识人的重要性。以礼待人可积累人脉，反之易孤立。为此我需辨别宾客价值，避免因傲慢或愚钝错失良机。</p><p class="ql-block">Here the host needs to adjust his attitude according to the nature of the guests, and can alienate bad guests, but should treat good guests warmly, otherwise it will reflect his own short-sightedness, which emphasizes the importance of respect and recognition in interpersonal communication. Treating people with courtesy can accumulate connections, and vice versa, it is easy to isolate. To this end, I need to discern the value of my guests and avoid missing out on opportunities due to arrogance or ignorance</p> <p class="ql-block">“贫居闹市无人问，富在深山有远亲”这句俗语揭示了社会现实中的功利性人际关系。当一个人处于贫困时，即使身处繁华之地也无人问津；而一旦富裕，即使隐于深山也会有人主动攀附。这提醒我们理性看待人际关系的本质，避免对他人有过高期待。它暗示了社会对个人价值的评判往往基于物质条件。真正的启示在于：人需要建立不依附于外界的自我价值感。财富或地位带来的关注是短暂的，而内在的成长和独立才是持久的力量。在功利性社交盛行的环境中，这句话反向激励我们，主动筛选和珍惜那些超越利益的关系。真正的亲情、友情应经得起贫富考验，而非因境遇变化而改变。从社会层面看，这句话反映了资源分配不均导致的人际异化。它呼吁更公平的社会环境，减少因贫富差距带来的关系扭曲。若将这句话视为一种警醒，它可以转化为积极行动的动力，通过提升能力、积累资源来改善处境，但需警惕因此陷入物质至上的陷阱。</p><p class="ql-block">The saying "no one cares about living in a busy city, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains" reveals utilitarian interpersonal relationships in social reality. When a person is poor, no one cares even if he is in a prosperous place; And once rich, even if you are hidden in the mountains, someone will take the initiative to climb up. This reminds us to look at the nature of relationships rationally and avoid having too high expectations of others. It implies that society's judgment of individual value is often based on material conditions. The real enlightenment lies in the fact that people need to establish a sense of self-worth that is not dependent on the outside world. The attention that comes with wealth or status is short-lived, while inner growth and independence are the lasting power. In an environment where utilitarian socialization is prevalent, this sentence inspires us to actively screen and cherish relationships that go beyond interests. True family affection and friendship should stand the test of wealth and poverty, not change due to changes in circumstances. From a social perspective, this sentence reflects the alienation of people caused by uneven distribution of resources. It calls for a more equitable social environment and fewer distortions in relationships caused by the gap between rich and poor. If this sentence is taken as a wake-up call, it can be transformed into a motivation for positive action, improving the situation by improving capabilities and accumulating resources, but it is necessary to be wary of falling into the trap of material supremacy</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block">当然这句话的深层启示不在于愤世嫉俗，而在于清醒认知现实后，依然能保持对真诚关系的追求，并专注于自我价值的实现。正如哲学家叔本华所言：“人要么庸俗，要么孤独。”在认清人际关系的现实后，我们更需在孤独中沉淀，在清醒中坚守。</p><p class="ql-block">Of course, the deep enlightenment of this sentence is not cynicism, but that after soberly recognizing reality, we can still maintain the pursuit of sincere relationships and focus on the realization of self-worth. As the philosopher Schopenhauer said: "People are either vulgar or lonely." "After recognizing the reality of interpersonal relationships, we need to precipitate in loneliness and persevere in sobriety</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p>