《苔痕》《蜂箱》华夏微型诗社周周发同题第549期

巴山一松

<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">华夏微型诗社第549期周周发同题创作开始了。</p><p class="ql-block"> 欢迎诗友们参与微型诗写作!请早日构思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block">备注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿时间:</p><p class="ql-block">7月8日晚上7点——10点。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人选投一首微型诗。</p><p class="ql-block">3、请单独发帖,不要自行接龙,由巴山一松老师统一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件选编到美篇,并由诗社老师予以点评。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期题目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《苔痕》 </p><p class="ql-block">②《蜂箱》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出题老师:紫塞长风</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流时可交流两首,投稿时只选投一首,收稿只收一首,点评也只点评一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.优秀作品推荐“微诗坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苏有明/陕西</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">石头缝里站岗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">被踩千遍也不走</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">卑微的绿星星</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 白描的写法,基本写出了苔痕的特点,也展现了其中的精神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/书虫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风雨自渡,跋涉孤独</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">任岁月荣枯,踏石有印</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">画一抹梦的图腾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 风雨、跋涉、荣枯、图腾,有实写,有引申,表达出题旨的精气神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古道白杨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮湿的语言</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">漫过深巷青石板</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">诗意 缠绵多情江南</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 语言、诗意,前后呼应,诗意缠绵,青石板也显出了一些曼妙的诗情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/赵正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">向天 寻根 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮湿的心 借一米阳光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">绽放出生命的底色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句让人有惊艳感;二句一米阳光“借”得妙;尾句提升,“底色”双关”,寓意好。成功的一首👍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">年久的记忆,生长出藓吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">光阴覆绿 在等待一场雨 —— 润泽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 年久的记忆,让作品有了纵深感;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">坐落在山野的家</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不需太大</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我只在意,每天能看到你</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 这个“山野的家”让人浮想联翩,好身手!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂之家</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">王国里有王有臣有民</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是真正的江湖和社会</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 是江湖和社会,但也有馋人的甜蜜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陈果果</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">根扎在雨吻过的石阶上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">绿洒在裂缝里</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">黙数 脚印的年轮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有铺垫,有过渡,有提升,更有曼妙的诗意,“吻”“洒”“数”动感十足,美不胜收!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/春天的故事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">方寸间藏着智慧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小精灵穿梭,花粉酿成蜜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">甜了你我他</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 赞美了蜜蜂的智慧与奉献精神!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古墨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">沿着,时间炸裂的缝隙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">填补伤口</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">愈合处,正在结痂出一层绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔痕之前,不知道诗人经历了怎样炸裂的故事,烟消云散之后,"正在结痂出一层绿",这层绿值得玩味,你说是新的希望吧,永远也长不出茎叶,慰藉而已。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">老井台的皱纹里 水退</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一步 它就长一寸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">承载着风雨与晨昏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> "老井台"三个字指出了熟悉、亲切和特指!"老井台的皱纹",比喻新颖贴切!末行似还可升华提炼!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文 / 绿色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不在乎是否被遗忘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">默然守着宁静,回忆过往</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只因怀揣一抹幽绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 赋予人格,通篇讴歌其淡泊宁静的生活态度!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小乙/辽宁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">给石阶着过绿装</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">为小屋洇开绒颜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">细节,正沿着砖缝蔓延</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗人神思专注,有感而发!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂 箱 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/行天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">零污染的天然净室</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">为野外忙碌后的居所 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">久藏芬芳记忆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 直接抒情,赞美密蜂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">即使被践踏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">也要努力以一朵花的姿态</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在青石板上书写传奇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 句式生动,语言简洁,立意耐品,"青石",青史也!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雨洒第一季</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">隔山隔水隔阳光,专营绿地毯 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">常被踩在足下—— </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">却把每个脚印,都绣成春天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首行写外型,笫二行写苦难,第三行写乐观向上的精神!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/喜阳柳保宅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">木板叠起小小城池</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">翅影进进出出搬运光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">暗格里酿着日子甜汁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗人形象化写出蜜蜂进出蜂箱的动作。以“城池”喻蜂箱,“搬运光”“酿甜汁”凝练蜂群劳作,将日常化为诗意,以小见大。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/苇强</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风雨与阳光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">故事,交替出现</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">泪湿的印迹,何时可抹去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借苔痕写时光故事,留白“何时抹去”,余味悠长。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">残垣,漫漶流年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">裹碎花绿裙于根畔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">舒展,鹿角蕨的优雅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “残垣”的场境让人多少有些心酸,而“流年”又让人感到无奈,诗人把苔痕比做“碎花绿裙”,融入“鹿角蕨的优雅”,静美中足见生命力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/卢春杰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一点绿 一点绿 一点绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">连起来</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">就是一片春天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 三个“一点绿”叠加成“春天”,以简驭繁,凸显苔痕聚少成多的蓬勃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">林汉梁/南昌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">以往的印记深深回忆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">她是那样嫩绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">如今已转为鲜红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗人善于观察,用色彩蜕变写苔痕承载的回忆,“嫩绿”转“鲜红”,暗含时光厚重感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/执着</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不怨,日子过在不起眼之处</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心向远</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">——定会,圆梦绿色庄园</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “不起眼处”的苔痕“心向远”,托物言志,寄寓平凡中亦有追梦的勇气和力量。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/绿柳枫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">木鱼声滚过 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">佛足印里 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">钻出几星新绿 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “木鱼声”“佛足印”富有禅意,末句中“新绿”破静而生,禅趣与生机交融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">窄小天地玄机暗藏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">女帝以勤劳为本治理王国</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">酿造世间顶极珍品</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句写出蜂箱的形态,二句中“女帝”喻蜂后,末句中的“顶极珍品”显蜂箱作用,视角独特。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/观海听涛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">棋盘格状药柜里,装满忙碌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一场春梦将岁月搅动</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">汗与泪的结晶聚到了何处</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句比喻形象,破题。然后写蜜蜂酿蜜的忙碌,以及奉献精神,尾句一问,给人思考。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">石阶上 洇染潮湿的光阴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">淡绿色的笔迹</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">写出无人读懂的年轮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 想像不错。苔藓生长在潮湿的环境,也没人去关注它的年龄,小人物的写照。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂 箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">独立国度里,女王君临天下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">臣民忙碌且井然有序</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">加工花蜜,国富流油</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一个蜂箱,一个国。有国就有国的样。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽兰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">从不抱怨生存逼仄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">匍匐在阳光背面</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">肆意流淌绿色的生命</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔藓一旦有了情感,生命力也就强了。比较灵动的一首。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家乡小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风沙裹挟的故事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">似睡非睡,一缕幽香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">从地心升起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句不错,这“故事"只是开了个头,具体内容由读者补充。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪儿怀春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">无惧孤独意识上没有炫耀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">默默彰显即便不被赞美</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仍开放个性魅力</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔藓精神十足,还差点细节呈现。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮湿的梦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在老墙那裂缝处 发芽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">却把斑驳 绣成绿色诗行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 语言优美,表达流畅。苔藓虽小却有梦,人微又何必叹言轻?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/故乡人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">移动在岁月里的木屋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鸟语,刷新日子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一朵朵生活,酿出了花香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句点题形象有趣。灵动的诗语,给生活添色增香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">借助外界的力量生存</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">时光喂养记忆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">攀升价值,开启绿色生活</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “时光喂养记忆”,让三行有了亮点。</span></p>