一滴无形的泪

紫薯兒

一滴无形的泪 - 化验室偶遇

一进门，惊讶地发现門两边的椅子上坐满了等候的客人，但室内却异常安静。三四位肤色较深的女士坐在弧形办公桌后面，用温柔低沉的声音，远远地跟略显困惑的我打招呼：“你好吗？来這兒、、、”？我犹豫了一下，因为这几乎是我有生以来第一次逢此经历：“我来送您，我的speci…… ”，不知道该如何念完后一字。只是依稀记得这个医学术语的前半部分。“Specimen”（样本）？电脑后面那位脸型瘦削的女士问道。我松了口气，“是的”！ 仿佛她是一位女子救星！“你还是需要在自助服务终端机那儿登记”， 她吩咐道。登记完毕后，我静静地坐在房间后排的椅子上，等待着。

候诊椅上大多数人都是浅色皮肤的，有些是棕色的，只有一位是黄色的。护士、办事员和采血员都是深色皮肤。我们仿佛来自一个色彩缤纷的世界，却似乎到了一个非洲国家的诊所。这一切看起来那么地井然有序，雇员们彬彬有礼，说话轻柔低沉，对每一位病人都充满着尊重和善意 — 似一个平等的小社会！

在弧形办公桌前，与护士打交道时，我偶尔转头看向右侧，发现一位皮肤白皙族裔的中年男子，坐在不远也不近的墙边座椅上，眼神中似乎闪烁着光芒，看着我。自己顿时有些不解，和迷惑。很自然，不再年轻了，這天更是没有涂抹，没有修饰，没有化妆，什么都没有。难道，會仍舊被人青睐？

依然坐着耐心等待。这时，座位左边的门突然吱吱嘎嘎艰难地响起，那门的弹簧很紧。一位身材高挑，皮肤白皙，黄種人女士，身子向前幾乎躬成了一半，努力地想要自己开门！我立刻站起来想帮她，她一只手挥开拒绝，另一只瘦削的手仍然紧紧地握着门把手：不用，我能行！等她弯成75%的身子进来时，连身子都還没直起，就突然兴奋地用英文问我：“你是中国人吗”？“是的”，我答道。她高兴不已：“我也是。我是台湾來的，你呢”？“我是大陆來的”。“哦，真好！”她很是满足的模样。

出乎意料的是，远处那位白皙的男人，正坐在墙那边，面带亲切的微笑，远远地也传来一口熟悉的不流利的家乡话：“你们說的是满州话吗 （Mandarin)？我会说一点儿”。 “哦，我的天哪，这里又一个华人，我们这里都是华人……！” 她显然是在暗示，这是多么美妙，这位會华语的白肤男子，也骤然间成了華人！？她清脆的嗓音说着家乡的國語，传遍了整个不大的等候室。相信其他等候者也听到了我们的声音，虽然他们可能听不懂，因为她时而英语，时而华语。她问那个男人：“你呢？” “我妻子是华人，她祖父母来自台湾……” 。于是，这个白皙的男人加入了我们黄種人的队伍，尽管我们两个黄種人的皮肤都十分白皙。但我們是清水豆腐一樣的白外又底色浅黄，而非奶酪般的白里還透出红红的血丝。所以這两種白還是有區别的。现在我明白为什么那位白皙的男人之前会盯着我看了—— 因为我是他的半個同鄉。

“我87岁了，1937年出生”！她坦率地，嗓音略微高了地說道。我简直不敢相信！她身材超级苗条，体魄极其健康，思维敏捷，反应灵敏，行动迅速！她看起来就像70來岁，甚至60多。就她超级苗条的瘦高背影看上去，她可能会被人误认为是20多！

她又说：“医生给我老公开错了药，导致他死了。医生求我不要起诉他……”。她继续着：“我们老家那儿的药更好，医生也更好……。我们老家的人更好，那边兒老家也更好……，但是我不喜欢....，太……”。 她指的是大陆的家园，幾十年前丢失的，那块土地， 老家。還包括她后来重拾的新居家园。

她在前台办了一会兒事，又忙不迭走回来与等待着的我闲聊。匆忙中，急切下，因為還有后来又再嫁的老公在楼下的车里等着她，她匆匆絮语： 你们那儿，我们那儿、、、。當年，后来、、、, 我们的父辈、、、。互换了看法後，我便建议她阅读<<巨流河>>，是她们臺灣的女學者齊邦媛所著。這樣，也许我们會有某种對历史的沟通和感应，她同意一讀。

办完事後，她背对着门准备离开，自豪地宣布：“我的家乡在湖南长沙”！白皮肤的男人热情地和着：“我妻子的家鄉是南京”。我依稀记得， 他說的是那兒。他說家人一起還去過妻子家鄉，似乃南京。

一段撤离的历史，因於怕。是人，人为制造了，恐惧。害怕一切。时光流逝，却始终无法忘懷故鄉。北京籍臺灣女作家林海音，深情地写下了《城南舊事》。以一滴无形的泪水，追忆着自己在，老北平的童年，和青春岁月。

这时，房间里几乎空无一人。一位白皙的中年女士走了出来，表情严肃，似乎有些不高兴？聽到我们2.5 個黄種人的闲聊，聽到那位身材苗条的臺灣女士的興奋絮语：”哦，我们中国人都到這兒來了！多好 ……”！那位白皙的女士或许心里想着：你敢吗，这里可是我们白色肌肤的天下！

童话结束。

文後題記：2024年6月8日, 原载於谷歌地图评论关于某化验室。或许正是这篇网上5*级（最高）英文评论，致化验结果未出。文中最后一段说明：绝大多数人是认同族裔融合的，但還是有极少数人相当排外。不知这位女性是否是，故信手写下了此随感。也用了 ”童話” 作為尾子。



原版評論 一滴無形的泪 - 化驗室偶遇

Surprised that when entering the door, over half full on chairs of waiting visitors in two sides, but a deadly quiet scene. The 3-4 ladies of color dark sit behind the curved clerk desk, in gentle and low voice, a bit remotely in distance said hallo to me: "R u ..." ? I hesitated, since this was my first time, almost in life: "I come to hand you my speci...", not sure how to finish the last part of the word. Just faintly remembered the first part of that medical term. "Specimen"? The lady in slim face behind computer asked. I relieved, "Yes! " seemed she's a woman savior. "You still need to register in Kiosk". Done, I quietly sit in back chair of the room, waiting.

On waiting chairs most were color of fair, some brownish, only one yellow. Nurses, clerks & phlebotomists r all color of dark. Seemed we all, from a colorful world, came to an African country's clinic. But seemed so organized, polite, in gentle and low voice with a respect and kindness, toward its clients of everyone -- an equal little society!

I occasionally turned my head toward my right, in front of curved desk when dealing with the nurse, discovered a fair skinned over-middle aged man, seemed looking at me in a shine spark in his eyes. Wonder, in my heart? Aged in us enough, no refine, no polish, no made-up, no nothing!?

Still sit & patiently waited. Then the door left to me suddenly strugglingly sounded, a super slim & tall & fair skinned yet senior lady of yellow color tried very hard to open the door herself by bending her body almost in half! I immediately stood up trying to help her, she waived one hand refusing, another hand still held the tight door handle: no, I can do it! When she still on her way in with a °75% body bending, suddenly excited: R u C.? Yes, I answered. She again, exclaimed: me too. I'm from Tw, how about u? "I'm from mainland C.". "Oh, how nice it's" ! She's very much in a joy.

Unexpectedly, another seemed familiar hometown tone sounded, from that fair skinned man a bit far away: "U speak M.? I can speak a bit". "Oh, my God, here another C., We r all C. together here...!" How wonderful it's, she obviously to imply. Her slim & clear voice in our hometown penetrated the whole little waiting room. Believe other visitors overheard of us, though they might not fully understand, since she sometimes in English sometimes in C. hometown language. She asked that man: U? "My wife is C., her grandparents r from Tw..." So this fair skinned man joined our yellow team, though we two r fairly fair skin in our yellow team. Now I understood why that fair skinned man looked at me earlier - bc I's one of his half hometown's folks.

"I am 87 yrs old, born in 1937" ! She exclaimed. I couldn't believe it! She's super slim & tall, super fit, super highly alert, super fast in mind & in reaction & in action! She looked like in lower 70s.

She again: "Doctor gave the wrong medicines to my husband which caused his death. The doctor begged me not to sue him..." . She continued: "Our hometown's medicines and doctors r better .., , our C. people r nicer, over there hometown is nicer..., but I don't like the Cxx, too controlling...".

Her back toward the door ready to leave, she proudly announced: my hometown is in Changsha, Hunan (province)". The fair skinned man replied, "My wife's hometown is from Nanjing (of Jiangsu)". Seemed, I faintly recall.

A history of escaping. Man made fear, of everything. Since time passed by, but still couldn't forget the hometown of mine. Lin, Haiyin, a Beijing-Taiwanese woman author deeply and sentimentally wrote her story:《the Old Story of the South Town》, recalled her adolescent in old Beiping (Beijing), in an invisible tear.

Then now the room was almost empty. A fair-skined middle-aged lady walked out the room, with a seemed serious facial expression, unhappy? When heard of our 2.5 yellow's chat, that announcement by the slim Tw lady: oh, here all come to our C. hometown folks...! The fair skinned lady maybe, have thought in her heart: dare you, this is our fair skin's land!

End of the fairy tale.

3:22-4:44pm, 6.8.2024