蔡维忠 | 她几乎完美

蓝

英语原文：蔡维忠

英译汉：蓝

此文发表于《红衫林》2025号/第二期

　　多年前，我给自己的博士论文草拟了一份个人简介，其中包括人生中最重要的两项成就：一是娶了一位聪明美丽的博士生，二是获得博士学位。当我拿给妻子点评时，她立刻注意到“聪明美丽”这几个字，喜形于色。当我问她是否应该避免这种带有个人色彩的词语时，她强烈反对：“这是事实，理所当然是博士论文的一部分。博士论文应该以事实为核心。”

40多年前作者与后来的妻子进行学术交流。

四十年前（1985年）自行设计的婚礼

我那聪明美丽的妻子后来在科学研究、管理和商业开发方面都取得了成功。此外，她在许多其他领域也大放光芒。

　　在医学方面，她对诊断疾病有很好的直觉，总能迅速为任何身体不适找到一个正式的医学术语。她经常毫无保留地向医生提供富有洞察力的医学意见，引起了一些医生的兴趣，恐怕也冒犯了另一些医生。

2013年生物螺旋Bio Helix的纽约分会

2019年国际生物科技组织大会（费城）

在时尚方面，她穿上任何从商店里买来的衣服都显得很时髦。这不能怪她，谁让她有艺术品味和好身材呢。有数人甚至建议她尝试第二职业当模特呢。

　　在烹饪方面，她能为60人的聚会准备一顿美味菜肴。

在清洁方面，她让客人看到房子里一尘不染。

　　尽管这些成就得到了认可，她仍觉得自己应该受到更多的表扬。没人夸她时，她自己夸。

“我要是没搞科研，一定会成为出色的医生。”她在餐桌上又开始夸自己了。

“你也可以成为一名成功的模特，因为你穿什么都好看。”我立刻附和。

“那是肯定的！”她完全同意。

“你也可以成为一位很棒的厨师，因为你烹饪还不错。”我继续发挥。

“毫无疑问！”她难掩喜悦。

“你也可以成为一位杰出的清洁工，因为你把房间打扫得特别干净。”我试探着一个未知领域，不确定她会如何反应。

“当然！”她笑得合不拢嘴。这不奇怪，她从不在意地位高低，对从事不同职业的人都同样尊重。

不过，她的自我肯定并不总是以合乎预料的方式表现出来。

　　几天前，当我走进厨房时，她正在欣赏她刚做好的晚餐。她冲我欢快地说：“你真幸运！”终于轮到我被夸奖了，我也有优点啊。“你真幸运，有这么好的妻子！” 她说。

另外一天，我们在车里，她转过身来严肃地跟我说：“我最近在反思如何提升自己，做一个更好的妻子。你想听吗？”
“当然。”我无法拒绝如此吸引人的话题。
“嗯，经过一番灵魂审视，我找不到自己有任何问题。我简直是无懈可击的妻子。”

　　她要是稍微谦虚点，就真的完美了。

2020年初于林肯中心

2019年海南三亚

She Is Almost Perfect

Weizhong Cai

Many years ago, I drafted a vita for my Ph.D. thesis, which included the two most important achievements in my life: marrying an intelligent and beautiful Ph.D. candidate and receiving a Ph.D. degree. When I showed it to my wife for comment, she immediately spotted the “intelligent and beautiful” part and was delighted. When I asked if I should refrain from such colorful personal phrases, she objected vehemently. “It’s a fact, which properly belongs to a Ph.D. thesis, which should be centered on facts.”

　　My intelligent and beautiful wife went on to pursue a successful career as a scientist as well as in management and business development. In addition, she shines in many other areas.

In medicine, she has a good instinct in diagnosing diseases, quickly coming up with a very formal medical term for any discomfort. She often offers her insightful medical opinions without any reservation to physicians she sees, which intrigue some of them and offend some others.

In fashion, she can make any cloths she picks from stores look stylish on her. You can’t blame her for having an artistic taste and a nice figure. Some people even suggested she try a second job as a model.

　　In cooking, she can make delicious dishes for a party of 60 people.

In cleaning, she makes the house sparkling clean in the eyes of visitors.

Although she is recognized for all these achievements, she feels she deserves more praises. When no one praises her, she praises herself.

　　
“If I had not pursued a scientific career, I would have been an excellent physician,” she started again to praise herself at the dining table.
“You could also be a successful model since you dress so well,” I immediate seconded that.
“Definitely!” she totally agreed.
“You could also be a great chef since you cook so well,” I continued.
“No doubt!” she was thrilled.
“You could also be an outstanding janitor since you clean so well,” I went onto an unchartered territory, not quite sure how she would react.
“Of course!” she smiled from ear to ear. This is not surprising, as she never cares about social status and treats people of different professions with equal respect.

Her self-recognition doesn’t always come in an expected way.

　　A few days ago, when I walked into the kitchen, she was admiring the dishes she just prepared for dinner. She turned to me in a joyful tone: “you are so lucky!”

Finally, it was my turn to be praised. I have merits, too.
“You are so lucky to have such a good wife!”

In another day when we were driving, she turned to me solemnly: “I have been doing some introspection on how I can improve myself and be a better wife. Do you want to hear that?”
“Sure,” I couldn’t resist such an enticing topic.
“Well, after some soul searching, I can’t find anything wrong with me. I think I am a damn good wife.”

　　She would be perfect if she was a little bit modest.

2018年于迪拜沙漠中