父女情深（Deep father-daughter love）

母女情深

原创: 倪捷儿 摄影：马玲、罗悦明、倪捷儿

Original: Ni Jieer Photography: Ma Ling, Luo Yueming, Ni Jieer

近日，重读朱自清先生的散文《背影》：“戴了一顶旧毡帽，又胖又矮的身影迈着蹒跚的步子，攀月台，过铁道，为心爱的儿子买橘子。”先生用朴实无华的语言谱写了人间最平常、最真挚的亲情。读完《背影》，仿佛心弦被一双柔和的手拔动，久久难以平静；又仿佛有一双圣洁的翅膀飞过天空，在心中投下点点倩影。

Recently, I re-read Mr. Zhu Ziqing's essay "Back View": "Wearing an old felt hat, a fat and short figure with a wobbly step climbed the platform, crossed the railway, and bought oranges for his beloved son." Mr. Zhu used simple and plain language to compose the most ordinary and sincere family affection in the world. After reading "Back View", it was as if the strings of my heart were plucked by a gentle hand, and I could not calm down for a long time; it was as if a pair of holy wings flew across the sky, casting a few traces of shadow in my heart.

其实，我们许多人都有这样一个父亲：他操劳奔波，含辛茹苦，整天为我们忙这忙那。父爱如山般深厚，父亲用坚实的双肩支撑起整个家庭。童年时，父亲的目光里是满满的宠爱；青年时，是殷殷的期盼；壮年时，是大大的赞许。慢慢的，父亲的头发白了、后背驼了、脚步也重了，目光依然柔和但夹杂着童真般的依赖。

In fact, many of us have such a father: he works hard, suffers hardships, and is busy all day long for us. Fatherly love is as deep as a mountain, and the father supports the whole family with his sturdy shoulders. When we were children, our father's eyes were full of love; when we were young, he was full of expectations; when we were in our prime, he was full of praise. Slowly, his hair turned white, his back became stooped, and his steps became heavier, but his eyes remained gentle but with the dependency of childhood.

《父亲的目光》是一首赞美父亲的歌曲。河水长又长，奔向远方，梦中的父亲，弯曲的脊梁。你永远像高山屹立在我的心间，父亲的目光让我更加温暖。虽然你不言语，虽然你不表白，从你的歌声里，我听到了父亲的爱。每当优美的旋律响起，我总会忍不住泪光闪烁，父亲那深沉的爱要用多么华丽的语言才能说出口？

"The Father's Look" is a song that praises the father. The river is long and long, flowing towards the distance, the father in my dream, bent back. You are always like a mountain standing in my heart, the father's look makes me feel warmer. Although you don't speak, although you don't express, from your song, I hear the father's love. Whenever a beautiful melody sounds, I can't help but have tears in my eyes. How can I express the father's deep love with such splendid language?

岁月真是不饶人，如此英俊帅气的少年，如今已是94岁寿星了。父亲出身在温州虹桥一户工商地主家庭，爷爷承父业经营着一家棉纱店和一家米行店，爷爷乐于助人，经常会做些修桥铺路、救济穷人的善事。奶奶娘家有姐妹八人，奶奶排行老六，家族中出过名人，浙南游击纵队三五支队司令员周丕振就是父亲三姨的儿子。

The years are very relentless, and such a handsome young man is now 94 years old. His father was born in Hongqiao, Wenzhou, a family of industrial and commercial landlords, and his grandfather ran a cotton yarn shop and a rice shop. Grandpa was very helpful. He would often do good things to build bridges and roads and to help the poor. There were eight sisters in grandma's family. Grandma was the sixth oldest. There were famous people in the family. Zhou Weizhen, the commander of the Zhejiang Southern Guerrilla Column 3 and 5th Battalion, was the son of the father's third aunt.

戎马生涯里，洗礼青春季。1949年11月，18岁的父亲不顾父母反对，报名参军，从此走上了自己选择的人生道路。1950年11月至次年年初，父亲参加了解放定海的各类战役，这对于一个文弱书生来说，是个不小的考验，父亲勇敢机智，荣获二等战斗功臣称号。战争结束，父亲继续留在部队，在部队担任着文化教员，由于家庭出身问题，1955年，父亲复员回到了家乡温州。

During his career as a soldier, he christened his youth. In November 1949, the 18-year-old father signed up to join the army despite the opposition of his parents, and has since embarked on a life path of his choice. From November 1950 to the beginning of the following year, my father participated in various battles to liberate Dinghai, which was a great test for a weak student. My father was brave and witty, and was awarded the title of second class combatant. After the war, his father continued to stay in the army, serving as a cultural teacher in the army, due to family origin, in 1955, his father was demobilized and returned to his hometown, Wenzhou.

浪漫相遇，喜结姻缘。1953年8月，母亲浙江卫校毕业前往余姚报到，乘车途中巧遇英俊的军人父亲，热情的父亲，陪母亲报到并安顿好一切，并互留了通讯地址，后来他们书信来往互生情愫，于1957年8月喜结良缘。1962年9月，父母的爱情结晶，他们的第一个孩子-我，有缘与他们相见了。

Romantic encounter, happy marriage. In August 1953, my mother graduated from Zhejiang Health School and went to report to Yuyao. On the way, she met her handsome military father by chance. The enthusiastic father accompanied my mother to report and settled everything, and they exchanged contact information. Later, they exchanged letters and fell in love. In August 1957, they got married happily. In September 1962, the love fruit of my parents, their first child - me, had the chance to meet them.

教坛四十载，桃梨满天下。父亲高中毕业没上过大学，但从小饱读史书，天文地理和古近代历史样样精通，还擅长田径、球类等体育运动。他教过历史、地理和政治，主教体育课。父亲先后担任过十任班主任，他与学生感情深厚关系极好，早年常与学生同吃同住，还从自己微薄工资省出一些钱来，为贫困学生代交学费或补助生活费。

For forty years, the temple has blossomed in the world. My father graduated from high school and did not go to college, but he grew up reading history books and was very good at astronomy, geography and ancient and modern history. He was also good at athletics such as track and ball games. He has taught history, geography and politics, as well as physical education courses. My father, who served as a class leader for ten years, had a strong bond with his students. He often ate and lived with them in his early years, and saved some money from his modest salary to pay tuition or support for the living expenses of poor students.

父女情深深，今生难忘怀。我上初中后，父亲才调到了家附近的一所中学任教，他带着少体班和集训队，要等到晚上学生上床熄灯后才回家，晨曦中又急匆匆地赶往学校唤醒学生训练，虽很少能见到父亲。但他总是谆谆教诲我，要我每日反思，反思那些是好的，那些是不妥的，在父亲的教导鼓励下，我进步很快，担任了校学生会主席，还评上了宁波市新长征突击手。

Father and daughter loved each other so deeply that I will never forget them in my life. After I started junior high school, my father transferred to a middle school near my home to teach. He brought a physical education class and a training team. He waited until evening when the students went to bed and turned off the lights before coming home. He hurried to the school in the morning to wake up the students for training, although I rarely saw my father. But he always inculcate me, want me to reflect every day, reflect on what is good, those are not right, in the father's teaching and encouragement, I made rapid progress, as the school student union president, but also on the new Ningbo City Long March assault.

父女情深深，今生难忘怀。父亲是外孙女的司机兼保镖，乐呵呵地穿梭于学校、少年宫和家之间。父亲也是女儿我的暖爸，冒着雨雪、冒着酷暑，把母亲做好的饭菜送到我家，送到我的学校去，就为能上女儿吃上一口热饭。女儿上幼儿园了，我给父母报了老年大学，从此才真正开启了父亲幸福的晚年享乐生活。

Father and daughter loved each other so deeply that I will never forget them in my life. The father was the granddaughter's driver and bodyguard and happily commuted between school, the juvenile palace and home. My father was also my daughter's warm father. He braved the rain, the snow, and the heat to send the food my mother cooked to my house and to my school so that my daughter could have a hot meal. My daughter went to kindergarten, I reported to the parents of the university for the aged, from then on really opened the father's happy old age pleasure life.

2006年3月，我随罗爸工作调动来到杭州，不久父母也移居杭州。他们对杭州格外的欢喜和亲切，他们最爱的女儿女婿在，他们青春年华的记忆在。约着朋友们，去看早春二月植物园的梅香满园，去看阳春三月苏堤的桃红柳绿，去看仲夏曲苑风荷的满园荷花，去闻金秋十月杭州的满城桂香，去看冬日湿地的芦苇飘飘。

In March 2006, I moved to Hangzhou with my father's job transfer. Soon after, my parents also moved to Hangzhou. They were particularly happy and friendly in Hangzhou. Their favorite daughter and son-in-law were there, and they had memories of their youth. They went with friends to see the plum blossoms in full bloom in the botanical garden in early spring, the peach blossoms and willows in full bloom on the West Lake in early spring, the full garden of lotus flowers in the summer, the full city of osmanthus fragrance in autumn, and the reeds swaying in the wetlands in winter.

转眼间，时光的指针来到了2019年，父母来杭州定居已足足十二年。杭州真是绝妙的地方，好山好水养好人，我从来没感觉自己已年过半百，感觉自己还如少女一般爱做粉色梦，还如少妇一般爱穿衣打扮，甚至如少年一般雄心壮志，父母的心态也一样年轻活跃。父母哺育了我们长大，现在该是我们反哺他们的时候了。

In the blink of an eye, the pointer of time has reached 2019. It has been twelve years since my parents settled in Hangzhou. Hangzhou is truly a wonderful place. Good mountains and good water nurture good people. I have never felt that I am over fifty years old. I still feel like a young girl who loves to dream in pink, like a young woman who loves to dress up, and even like a young man who is full of ambition. My parents' mentality is just as young and active. My parents raised us to grow up, and now it is time for us to repay them.

让父母有好的养老环境、生活照顾和精神享受，这个念头在我心中酝酿了好些年，直到2019年才如愿以偿。朗和国际医养中心，成了父母幸福的港湾，长者大都来自高校、医院、机关退休的，琴棋书画、唱歌跳舞，热闹非凡。2020年初疫情期间，与父母整整两个半月未见。那一日，我们相拥着来到了波光粼粼的西湖。

To provide parents with a good environment for old age, care, and spiritual enjoyment, this idea has been brewing in my heart for many years, and I finally achieved it in 2019. Lang International Medical and Nursing Center has become a haven of happiness for parents. Most of the elderly come from universities, hospitals, and retired officials. They play musical instruments, chess, calligraphy, painting, singing, and dancing, making it a lively place. In the early 2020 pandemic, I did not see my parents for two and a half months. On that day, we embraced each other and came to the sparkling West Lake.

父女情深深，今生难忘怀。每次来看您，您蹒跚地走向我，我把您拥上，泪珠会在您的肩膀上悄然滑落。2020年6月7日，是父亲的89岁大寿，父亲说要与母亲一起过。寿宴就安排在朗和，戴王冠、点蜡烛、许心愿、吹蜡烛、齐唱生日歌、祝福、合影等，一个环节都不能少。亲人欢聚一堂其乐融融，父母欢喜笑得合不拢嘴。

The father-daughter relationship is deep and unforgettable in this life. Every time I come to see you, you stagger towards me, and I embrace you. Tears will quietly fall on your shoulder. On June 7, 2020, it was my father's 89th birthday, and my father said he wanted to celebrate with my mother. The birthday banquet was arranged at Langhe. Wearing crowns, lighting candles, making wishes, blowing candles, singing birthday songs, giving blessings, and taking photos together, one step cannot be missed. Relatives gathered together and enjoyed themselves, and the parents were happy and couldn't stop smiling.

朗和的朗字，出自《诗经.大雅.既醉》：昭明有融，高朗令终。和字，则出自《黄帝内经》：法于阴阳，和于术数。朗和一直秉承“用心陪伴用心爱”的服务宗旨，得到同行和长者们的一致好评，省市各级领导也先后来朗和考察，给予肯定和支持。植根于内心的善念，是最真的情怀；发源于天道的行为，是最美的姿态。

The word "lang" in Langhe comes from "The Book of Songs. The Great Ode. When Drunk": Bright and clear, high and noble. The word "he" comes from "Huangdi Neijing": following the principles of yin and yang, and harmonizing with the arts. Langhe has always adhered to the service principle of "accompanying with heart and love with heart", and has received high praise from peers and the elderly. Provincial and municipal leaders have also come to Langhe for inspection, giving affirmation and support. The goodness rooted in the heart is the truest sentiment; the behavior originating from the natural law is the most beautiful posture.

2021年，注定是不安宁的一年。父亲突发血压超高而入住杭州市一院心血管科，经过检查发现肾、心脏血管堵塞90%。病因找到了，听医生建议分二次手术，首先给肾植了支架，血压恢复正常，过了一个月，再给心脏植支架，手术由上海中山医院葛院士操刀，手术超乎预料的成功，手术后的恢复也超乎想象的好。

2021 is bound to be a year of unrest. The father suddenly had a high blood pressure and was admitted to a cardiovascular department in Hangzhou. After examination, he found that the kidney and heart blood vessels were blocked 90%. The cause of the disease was found. According to the doctor's recommendation, the patient underwent two operations. First, the kidney was implanted with a stent, and the blood pressure returned to normal. After one month, the heart was implanted with a stent. The operation was carried out by Ge, academician of Zhongshan hospital in Shanghai. The operation was successful beyond expectation, and the recovery after the operation was also beyond imagination.

总以为过了2021年，一切都会好起来，但事实非所愿。2022年春节刚过，父母就双双入住杭州市二院心血管科，出院后入住朗和护理院。父亲的思维一直很清晰，但自从手术后，出现帕金森、肺功能减退等病症，导致生活自理能力急局下降，身体一直棒棒的妈妈，也因担心爸爸的健康问题而焦虑过度，出现了老年痴呆的部分症状。

I always thought that after 2021, everything would get better, but it didn't turn out that way. Just after the Spring Festival of 2022, my parents both moved into the Cardiovascular Department of the Second Hospital of Hangzhou. After they were discharged, they moved into Longhe Nursing Home. My father's thinking has always been clear, but since the surgery, he has developed Parkinson's disease and reduced lung function, which has led to a sharp decline in his ability to take care of himself. My mother, who has always been in good health, has also become overly anxious about my father's health problems and has developed some symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.

父母的病情在加重，一个是身体的，需要保姆照顾；一个是脑子的，与保姆水火不容。2022年5月，因母亲坚决不愿再住朗和医养中心，父母来到了离我一墙之隔的五云山疗养院康复中心。小时候父母为我们办生日宴，现在就让我们围坐他们身边给贺寿；小时候父母为我们遮风挡雨，如今我们也该成为他们最坚实的依靠。

The parents' conditions are worsening, one is physical and needs a nanny to take care of it; the other is mental and is at odds with the nanny. In May 2022, due to my mother's firm refusal to live in Langhe Health Care Center again, my parents came to Wuyun Mountain Rehabilitation Center, which is just a wall away from me. When my parents held birthday parties for us when we were children, now it is our turn to sit around them and celebrate their birthday. When my parents shielded us from the wind and rain when we were children, now it's our turn to become their strongest support.

父亲的身体愈来愈虚弱，必须有人全天陪护，母亲力不从心又不愿保姆靠近爸爸，偶尔还出现歇斯底里的状况。2022年8月，我将父母接到自己家中照顾。我负责一日三餐，每天变着花样荤菜搭配。看着父母的笑容，我很欣慰，陪伴，是日复一日，是点点滴滴。陪伴父母过百年，既是自己的责任，也是自己最好的修为。

My father's health is getting weaker and weaker, and he needs someone to take care of him all day long. My mother can't do it, and she doesn't want the nanny to get close to my father. Sometimes she gets hysterical. In August 2022, I took my parents to my home to take care of them. I am responsible for three meals a day, and I change the combination of meat dishes every day. Seeing my parents' smiles makes me very happy. Being with my parents for a hundred years is both my responsibility and my best cultivation.

在父母的养老问题上，罗爸给予我莫大的支持。他常常与父母聊聊天，还耐心地教母亲吹奏葫芦丝，并欢乐的与母亲合奏，会拉二胡给父母听，还会把自己写好的书法给父母欣赏并探讨。看着他们亲密无间的模样，我常常很感动。都说女婿是半子，父母真心赞美，他们的女婿是全子，比全子还好。

In terms of my parents' old-age care, my father gave me great support. He often chatted with my parents, patiently taught my mother how to play the hulusi, and happily played with my mother. He also played the erhu for my parents to listen to and showed my parents his calligraphy that he had written. Seeing their intimate appearance, I was often very moved. It is said that a son-in-law is half a son, but my parents truly praise their son-in-law as a full son, even better than a full son.

2023年5月初，多年不见的表哥、表姐和表姐夫们，从嵊泗、上海来到我的家-林月居，看望他们的阿姨和姨夫，乐得父母合不拢了嘴。那欢喜的眼神，那灿烂的笑容，如这春光般明媚，讲过去的故事，讲今天的故事，你看着我，我看着你，场面实在太温馨了。对长者而言，亲人情永远是他们晚年最喜欢、最开心的。

In early May 2023, my cousins, aunts, and uncles, who had not seen each other for many years, came from Shengsi and Shanghai to my home, Lin Yue Ju, to visit their aunt and uncle. Their parents were so happy that they couldn't stop smiling. The joyful look in their eyes and the bright smile were as bright as the spring sunshine. They told stories about the past and the present. You looked at me, I looked at you, the scene was too warm. For the elderly, family love is always their favorite and happiest in their later years.

2023年5月中旬，父母新冠双双住院。出院后，父亲基本卧床不起了，母亲的老年痴呆症加极，还开始出现妄想。我的身心也累到极致，但咬咬牙生活还得继续。2024年5月中旬，母亲因爆发老年痴呆妄想症，而不得不送去杭州市第一人民医院城北院区治疗，不舍和无奈，再心痛也只能让父母分开，妈妈现已适应那儿的生活照顾和病症治疗。

In mid-May 2023, both parents were hospitalized with COVID-19. After being discharged, my father was basically bedridden, and my mother's Alzheimer's disease worsened, and she also began to develop delusions. My physical and mental exhaustion reached its limit, but I had to bite my teeth and continue living. In mid-May 2024, my mother had to be sent to the North District of the First People's Hospital of Hangzhou for treatment due to the outbreak of Alzheimer's disease and delusions. Although I was reluctant and helpless, I had no choice but to separate my parents. My mother has now adapted to the life care and treatment of the disease there.

在2025年细雨初歇，暮春与初夏之交，我们全家乔迁至云栖名筑，一方天地，左邻中国美院，右拥浙江音乐学院，满目青山，云烟缭绕。孝顺的外孙女罗锦，让外公外婆与她同住，与我们一个小区前后幢。父亲虽大部分时间还需卧床，但思维清晰，精神大好，欢喜之情溢于言表，看到父亲的变化，我们内心也是无比宽慰。

In 2025, after the light rain has stopped, at the beginning of late spring and early summer, our family moved to Yunqi Mingzhu, a place with a lot of space. On the left, there is the China Academy of Art, and on the right, there is Zhejiang Conservatory of Music. The scenery is full of green mountains and clouds. My dutiful granddaughter, Luo Jin, moved in with her grandparents and lived in the same building as us. Although my father still needs to stay in bed most of the time, his thinking is clear and he is in good spirits. His happiness is evident in his words. Seeing the changes in my father, we are also very relieved.

2025年端午前夕，父亲因肠胃严重衰竭，导致无法进食而住院急救。60年前的学生来看他了，他居然还可以记起以前的事；温州老家的亲戚来看他，他拉着他们的手对我说要常来常往；朋友来看他，他拱手连说谢谢。医生也惊呀了，这样重危的老人，生命力竟是如此的顽强，头脑是竟是如此的清晰，这就是我伟大的父亲。

On the eve of New Year's Eve in 2025, my father was hospitalized with severe gastrointestinal failure, leaving him unable to eat. The student came to see him 60 years ago, and he can still remember the past. Wenzhou hometown relatives came to see him, he took their hand and said to me to often to often; A friend came to see him, and he gave his hand and said thank you. The doctor was astonished that such a critically ill old man, whose vitality was so strong and whose mind was so clear, was my great father.

我们都会遇到父母变老和有病的时候，不要惧怕、焦虑和难过，带着感恩和责任心，把心态尽可能调整到平和，想到我们的肩，能为父母靠一靠、挡一挡，要感到宽慰、自豪和开心，那么力量就来了，智慧就来了。2025年6月7日是父亲的94岁寿辰，纵然在病床，我们也要为父亲庆贺。人间真情，最动人心，视频把那美好时光定格永远。

We will all face the aging and illness of our parents. Don't be afraid, anxious, or sad. With gratitude and responsibility, adjust your mindset as much as possible to peace. Think of the shoulders we can lean on and block for our parents. Feel relieved, proud, and happy, and then strength and wisdom will come. On June 7, 2025, it will be Father's 94th birthday. Even on the hospital bed, we should celebrate him. The true feelings of the world are the most touching. The video captures that beautiful time forever.

我对着蓝天白云祈祷，对着青山绿水祈祷，希望父亲快快好起来，祈祷奇迹会发生，在亲朋好友的千呼万呼下，在白衣天使们的精心护理下，2025年父亲节前夕，父亲终于能拔针自助半流了。还可以推着去疗养院花园看看花草，听听鸟声，感受潮湿空气下阳光的温暖和泥土的清香。人间有爱，这就是爱的力量，彼此的不舍，天会成全。

I pray to the blue sky and white clouds, to the green mountains and clear waters, hoping that my father will soon recover and that a miracle will occur. With the unwavering support of family and friends, and under the meticulous care of the white-clothed medical staff, on the eve of Father's Day in 2025, my father was finally able to remove his intravenous lines and consume semi-liquid nutrition on his own. He could also be wheeled to the nursing home's garden to enjoy the beauty of flowers and plants, listen to the songs of birds, and feel the warmth of the sun on damp air and the fragrance of the earth. There is love in this world, and it is the power of love that brings about such miracles—a testament to the boundless compassion and unwavering support of those around us.

童年，父母让我感受到爱的幸福，教会我如何去爱一个人。青年，传承着父母给予满满的爱，寻觅到我爱和爱我的丈夫，养育了我爱和爱我的女儿。如果把人生看成一段诗，那么母爱父爱就是这诗中最深情的画笔；如果把人生看成一首歌，那么母爱父爱就是歌中最动人的音符。天之大，唯有母亲父亲的爱完美无瑕。我要用行动，尽我余生最大的力，让父母天天快乐幸福。

In my childhood, my parents made me feel the happiness of love and taught me how to love someone. In my youth, I inherited the full love given by my parents, found my husband who loves me and loves me, and raised my daughter who loves me and loves me. If life is seen as a poem, then motherly and fatherly love is the most affectionate brushstroke in the poem; if life is seen as a song, then motherly and fatherly affection is the most touching note in the song. The love of mother and father is perfect and flawless. I will use my actions to do my best with the rest of my life to make my parents happy and joyful every day.

摄影: 马玲、罗悦明、倪捷儿 文字：倪捷儿 出镜：倪成明、田如华、倪捷儿、倪宗杰、罗悦明

Photography: Ma Ling, Luo Yueming, Ni Jieer Text: Ni Jieer Appearance: Ni Chengming, Tian Ruhua, Ni Jieer, Ni Zongjie, Luo Yueming