四平市铁西楹联于桂芹老师楹联点评《四八四期至四九一期》

云中霞

<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八四期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰消春水活</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里月华共醉吟。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“月华”改平平“清波”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春来柳叶新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一缕诗情且醉吟。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]最好继续描写景物</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春回岸草鲜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“岸草”直接改“草叶”工稳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满院风光任细描。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“春色”与“风光”都指景色，重复，类似改“晨晖”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春初柳眼萌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“初”名词，应改动词，可“春归”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万道霞光闪烁飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上下联角色应对等，上联“人”赏，下联“霞飞”。结构应一致。“延赏”是一个词，“闪烁”是一个词，不对等。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暖归水草娇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“暖”应平声，不然犯孤平。（句里必须有两个平声字相连）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一路风光尽放歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“风光”包括春色，改“湖光”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春归溪水肥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">晚季桃花可迟观。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“晚季”改“四月”（白居易大理寺桃花四月开）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春归蕙草新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里清明共驻吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“清明”多指节点，改“湖光”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春生草色新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“春生”改“春归”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一缕香风每醉闻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">温升草色新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里桃花已忘归</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨停草叶新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“雨”应平声，不然犯孤平（句里必须有两个平声字相连）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里桃花待细游。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“待”改副词“可”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暖回柳叶鲜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“暖”应平声，不然犯孤平，可“春回”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三月夕阳自可吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“夕阳”四季都有，对美景少诗意，改“韶华”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春归柳叶新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一抹霞光好漫观。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“春色”春天的景色，行围绕春景对句。“霞光”四季都有，少了诗意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒尽桃花嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春归柳叶新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联寒尽：指寒冬结束，寒气消退。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 桃花嫩：初春桃花初绽，花瓣娇嫩。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 整体：严寒褪去，桃树抽出新芽，花朵柔嫩绽放，象征万物复苏的开端。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 下联春归：春天回归，呼应上联的“寒尽”。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 柳叶新：柳树抽出鲜绿的新叶。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 整体：春风拂过，柳条焕发新绿，展现春天的鲜活气息。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 是季节主题：通过“桃花”“柳叶”两个典型意象，紧扣初春景致，画面清新明丽。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 对仗工整：“寒尽”对“春归”（气候更替），“桃花”对“柳叶”（植物），“嫩”对“新”（状态），词性、结构精准对应。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二分春色应延赏；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三月韶华可畅游。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联描绘了春日的美好景象，并表达了及时行乐、不负美好时光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联"二分春色应延赏"：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "二分春色"化用苏轼"春色三分"的典故，指春天最精华的部分</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "应延赏"意为应当延长欣赏的时间，体现珍惜春光之情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下联"三月韶华可畅游"：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "三月韶华"直指阳春三月的美好时光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "可畅游"呼应上联，建议尽情游览赏玩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">整体特点：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 对仗工整："二分"对"三月"，"春色"对"韶华"，"延赏"对"畅游"</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 意境协调：上下联都围绕春日游玩主题</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 语言雅致：选用"韶华""延赏"等文雅词汇。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八五期（围绕清明节对句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山饮泣坠碑前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“青山”改“黄花”更工稳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陇上焚香念故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]应“垄”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">野花含泪卧山前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“凝思”动词，“含泪”动宾，改动词，可“惊动”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓畔献花慰故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“献”应平声，不然犯孤平。可“持花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上； </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白菊寄哀立墓旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平仄不对，按（平平仄仄仄平平）对句。类似改“白菊哀诉立碑前”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖； </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓畔焚香悼故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黄花寄意奉坟前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“凝思”动词，“寄意”动宾结构，改动词，类似“追诉”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">砌上焚香祭故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鲜花含笑慰英魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“英魂”改“碑前”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梦里含悲忆故亲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青松寄意立碑前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“寄意”改动词，类似“追诉”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冢畔焚香忆旧颜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“旧颜”指代不明，改“故人”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青松敬意立碑旁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“青松翠柏”都属于松科植物‌，属于“合掌”改成其他植物，可“黄花”，“敬意”改动词，类似“黄花追诉落碑旁”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓后栽松祭故人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青松含泪伴碑前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松柏”同科属于合掌，改其他植物，可“白花惊动落碑前”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓侧焚香念故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白菊不语立坟前</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓上鲜花祭故人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“鲜花”改动宾，可“持花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">菊花含泪绽坟前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“含泪”动宾，改动词。类似可“追诉”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">孔庙焚香祭圣贤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“孔庙”改方位词，“庙上”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">苍松注目立陵中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松柏”同科属于合掌，改其他植物。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓畔持花祭故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">苍松缅忆泣碑东</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松柏”同科，属于合掌，改其他植物。可“白花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墓畔吟诗悼故人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山肃立伴陵旁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹洒思先祖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">堂上燃香励后人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(自然风景)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">苍松有意满林中</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松柏”同科，属于合掌，对其他植物，可“黄花”，“有意”改动词。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">海外扬帆有后人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上下意境隔的远，还是围绕清明祭扫对句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参加对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠柏凝思垂冢上。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黄花惊动落碑前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联通过意象的并置，营造出肃穆而富有哲思的祭扫氛围：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"翠柏"作为墓地常见植物，象征永恒与坚贞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "凝思"拟人化描写，赋予自然景物以人文情感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. "垂"字既写柏枝低垂之态，又暗含哀思垂悼之意</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下联：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "黄花"（菊花）作为传统祭奠花卉，与上联"翠柏"形成植物对仗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "惊动"一词打破静谧，暗示扫墓者的到来或风过花落的动态</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. "落碑前"的飘零意象，与永恒的石碑形成生命易逝的对比</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 整体特点：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">- 空间构图：冢上/碑前形成立体空间感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">- 色彩搭配：翠绿与明黄构成视觉对比</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">- 动静结合：凝思的静与花落的动相映成趣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">- 情感表达：通过景物传递含蓄的追思之情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 该对联常见于传统墓园楹联，通过自然景物寄托对逝者的怀念，符合中国传统"以景言情"的审美范式。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碑前酹酒思先祖；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冢上持花念故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联以祭祀先祖、缅怀故人为主题，通过简洁而富有意境的文字，表达了深切的思念之情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联“碑前”指墓碑前，点明场景；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“酹酒”是古代祭祀时洒酒于地的仪式；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“思先祖”直接表达对祖先的怀念。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">整句描绘了在祖先碑前洒酒祭奠、追思先人的场景，酒在中国传统文化中常用来表达敬意与怀念。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 下联“冢上”指坟冢之上，与上联“碑前”对应；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">-“持花”现代扫墓常用献花的方式；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “念故人”表达对已逝亲友的思念。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">这句表现了在墓前献花缅怀逝者的现代祭扫方式，鲜花象征纯洁的哀思。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 对联特点：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 工整对仗：“碑前”对“冢上”，“酹酒”对“持花”，“思先祖”对“念故人”；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 古今结合：上联用传统酹酒仪式，下联用现代献花方式；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 情感真挚：通过具体祭祀动作表达抽象思念之情；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 平仄协调：符合对联声韵要求。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 整体而言，这幅对联语言凝练，意境深远，既传承了传统文化，又融入了现代元素，生动表达了人们对先人的追思之情。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八六期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑迎春风水云天。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">类似改“笑迎千里水乾坤”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">马蹄逐浪轻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">类似“鸥轻逐浪飞”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑迎四海锦乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]海水可以比喻为锦缎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">荷肥任水浮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑观千水玉乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“水”可以比喻镜子，改“笑观千水镜乾坤”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花鲜带露开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣观千壑玉乾坤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“千壑”指众多的沟壑、深谷，一般里边都是水，改“水乾坤”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">兰幽浸露香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“香”改动词，可“开”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑迎十里桃花红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“花”上下联重复了不可。下联按“平平仄仄仄平平”来对句。类似改“笑迎十里草茵席”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">荷肥任水游</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑观千树鸟家园</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鱼肥逐水游</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">静听四野鸟歌谣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">桃红伴雨开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣听四海绿波涛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">莲清映水开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(自然风景)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣逢两岸米粮仓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">兰香沐日开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闲吟半日雨时光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花多带露开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闲吟千水柳烟波</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“烟波”：烟雾笼罩的江湖水面；“柳烟波”不准确。调整“闲吟千里水烟波”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">兰幽映日开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">亲临千树鸟天堂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花繁带露开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闲寻一方洞乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“一方”应仄仄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花妖蘸水开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“竹瘦”竹子细瘦，主谓结构，“花妖”花的精灵，偏正结构名词，不工。改“花香”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闲游一处水云间</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“水云间”：水域与云层之间，“花世界”：花的世界，二者结构不对品。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅寒映雪开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">石亚凤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣游百里鸟天堂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹瘦随风摆</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">禾肥得雨浇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">喜看万山花世界，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣听百里鸟歌声。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联以欢欣的笔触描绘了一幅生机盎然的自然图景，表达了对美好生活的赞美之情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">【意象赏析】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联运用夸张手法，以群山为画布铺展花的海洋，令人联想到"千里莺啼绿映红"的绚烂；下联"百里鸟歌声"化用"千里莺啼"典故，将听觉体验空间化，与杜甫"两个黄鹂鸣翠柳"的鸟鸣描写异曲同工。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">【艺术手法】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 数字对仗："万山"对"百里"，虚指范围之广</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 感官呼应："看"与"听"构成视听通感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 动静结合：静态花海与动态鸟鸣相映成趣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">【情感表达】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"喜看""欣听"的叠词结构强化了愉悦情绪，与范仲淹"把酒临风，其喜洋洋者矣"的畅快一脉相承。花鸟意象象征吉祥，暗含"春色满园关不住"的蓬勃生机</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瘦竹随风摆；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏梅带雨开。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副对联通过自然意象的对比，营造出清雅淡泊的意境：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联"瘦竹"既写竹形清瘦，又暗喻高洁品格</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "随风摆"展现竹的柔韧特性，亦含随遇而安的处世哲学</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">整体营造出清风徐来的动态画面</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 下联 "疏梅"突出梅花的疏朗姿态，象征孤傲风骨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"带雨开"描绘梅花凌寒绽放的坚韧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨润梅开的意象暗含逆境中的生机</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 艺术特色：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 对仗工整："瘦竹"对"疏梅"，"随风"对"带雨"</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 虚实相生：表面写景，实则托物言志</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 动静结合：风摇竹影的动与雨润梅开的静</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 文人意趣：选取竹梅这两个典型文人象征。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八七期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞花点唇红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“唇”应仄声，可“手”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">窗纱透影月悄移。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">改“窗前”表示方位词，工稳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摇荷洗面红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">房檐住鳥雨难淋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“房檐”改方位词“檐间”更工稳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞桃点靥红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">檐牙挂月夜长明。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞花点面红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池边垂柳雨常滋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">落花减颊红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“减颊”含义不明，改“映面”，“落花”应平平，改“飞花”“拾花”等</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">篱根卧雪雨难亲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“雪”应和“花”是植物类，类似“落叶”。“风、雪、雨”有三足蟾之嫌。画面显乱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">弄枝惹杏红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“弄”应平声。同类词相对。植物对植物，人器官对器官</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">窗前摇杏影常移。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“影”还是指“杏影”最好是与“风”气象同类，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">羞花笑脸红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">亭中栖燕雨难淋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">依花映面红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">园边立柳月频来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞桃点靥红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">阶前积叶雨难冲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开花点口红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池中落叶雨同听。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞花洗脸红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可“落脸”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；‌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">檐前积叶雨还淋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">拂桃醉脸红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">阶前落叶雨频敲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(自然风景)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">折枝染桃红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“桃”应仄声。调整一下“折桃映面红”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屋内烛灯雨难淋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">按“平平仄仄平”来对句。“烛灯”应动宾结构，类似改“屋中</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">纤荷举伞娇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“纤”应动词，可“擎荷”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">路旁飞絮雨难收</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">催花带露红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“露”可与“眉”同类词，如“映面红”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">门前劲草雨能浇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“劲草”偏正结构，改成动宾结构，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摆柳梳眉绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞花落手香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副联描绘了一幅春日美景，充满了细腻的感官体验和生动的意象：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"摆柳梳眉绿"——柳枝摇曳如梳理着翠绿的眉叶，将柳条拟人化为女子描眉的动作，"绿"字既点染色彩又暗含生机。一个"梳"字精妙联动柳丝与画眉的双重意象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"飞花落手香"——纷飞的花瓣飘落掌心，留驻芬芳，"香"字由视觉贯通嗅觉，瞬间将画面转化为可触碰的温软体验。落花入手的情景设计尤见巧思。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 赏析要点：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 对仗工整："摆柳"对"飞花"，"梳眉"对"落手"，"绿"对"香"，形成视听嗅的多维通感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 动词运用："摆""梳""飞""落"四字使静态景物顿生动态韵律</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 色彩构图：柳绿与飞花的粉白构成清新柔和的春日色调。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">院角堆花风不扫；池中落叶雨还刷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联描绘了庭院角落和池塘中的自然景象，富有诗意和画面感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联"院角堆花风不扫"选取了"院角"、"堆花"、"风"等意象，描绘了花瓣被风吹到角落堆积的画面。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 下联"池中落叶雨还刷"则选取了"池中"、"落叶"、"雨"等意象，展现了雨水冲刷池塘中落叶的景象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 动静结合：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "堆花"是静态的积累，"风不扫"则暗示了风的动态。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "落叶"是动态的飘落，"雨还刷"则强调了雨的持续作用。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 拟人手法：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "风不扫"和"雨还刷"都运用了拟人手法，赋予自然现象以人的行为特征。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 对仗工整：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "院角"对"池中"，"堆花"对"落叶"，"风不扫"对"雨还刷"，对仗十分工整。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5. 意境营造：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 整副对联营造出一种闲适、自然的意境，展现了季节更替中庭院的景致变化。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6. 情感表达：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> -通过自然景象的描写，隐约透露出一种对时光流逝的淡淡感慨。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八八期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（围绕春耕对句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">步香阶拾来万点残红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“香阶”应仄仄，可“遇春雪”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹残红减春容。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“残红”应仄仄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">携细雨送来万亩金波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">麦铺北岭绘诗篇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邀时雨收来万顷金黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歌飞北燕报丰年。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“北燕”国名，不准</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迎暖日催开万树嫣红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花栽北岭漾诗章</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]围绕春耕对句更好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 醉牛歌 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">借细雨滋成四野轻黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">犁耕北陌绘诗行。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">沐细雨迎来四野靛青</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">麦铺北岭荡春波</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">随细雨催开万柳嫩黄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]最好围绕春耕对句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花归北苑入诗笺</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">期澍雨滋成九野嘉禾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山匀翠钿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">溪弹锦瑟和春声</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“和”仄声。原上句“豆撒南山添画卷”，对此下句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赊暖日催耕万亩浅黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瓜栽北域展宏图。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“宏图”含义过大，可“诗行”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千眭新绿。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迎细雨吹开万里嫩红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">莺啼绿柳满花田。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕对句。带点春耕画面，类似改“莺啼绿柳瞰诗田”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">携雨露滋润万倾桃红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“润”应平，“新绿”可对“嫩红”，类似改“滋开万顷嫩红”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花开月下映星空</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕主题对句，“画卷”是虚景，想象的美景，“南山”具体地理名词，“月下”是方位词，改地理名词，类似改“花开北苑曳诗行”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">李艳菊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迎丽日翻开万亩良田</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">犁耕北土写诗篇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“北土”泛指北部地区，范围太大，改“北岭”。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">期细雨滋荣万顷金黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">苗栽北地谱新篇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">随暖日铺开万顷金黄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">莺啼柳岸入诗章</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕主题对句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(自然风景)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邀细雨催开一圃嫩红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花栽北圃泛诗情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]围绕春耕，可继续描写春耕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">16</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">逢好雨浇开万树旧红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“旧红”不准，改“嫩红”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花开北野咏诗篇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕对句更好，“北野”可“北苑”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">趁和风种下千畦新绿，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邀细雨浇开万亩嫩黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联化静为动，"种下"二字将春风拟人化，仿佛自然之力在挥毫泼彩；下联与"浇开"相映成趣，细雨如丹青妙手点染花海。这种动态化的意象处理，比静态描写更富感染力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、对仗工巧含妙趣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"趁"与"邀"字形成主动邀约的拟人关系，"千畦"对"万亩"的空间拓展暗合农耕文明的辽阔视野。"新绿""嫩黄"的配色既符合油菜花田的实景，又构成视觉上的冷暖调和。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三、音韵流转生乐感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平仄安排上，"风-雨""绿-黄"的对应形成声调起伏，读来如闻田园牧歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豆撒南山添画卷，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">稻插北苑数诗行。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副对联以田园农耕为题材，通过"豆撒南山"和"稻插北苑"的意象组合，展现了生动的劳作场景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、意象经营</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联"豆撒南山"以"撒"字精准捕捉播种的动态，将南山化作天然画卷；下联"稻插北苑"用"数诗行"比喻秧苗排列，赋予农事诗意。两个"南/北"方位词既拓展空间感，又形成工整对仗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、艺术手法</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 动词运用："撒"字体现随意中的自然天成，"插"字突出人工的秩序美</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 通感转换：将视觉的"画卷"与文字的"诗行"互通，实现书画同源的艺术效果</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 数字对仗："添"与"数"形成动作呼应，暗含从无到有的创造过程。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四八九期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（围绕春耕对句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">挥锄金穗报秋来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平仄同调了，对句应按“仄仄平平仄仄平”来对。类似改“落雨青苗破土出”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收来珍珠秋铺金。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">类似改“播种良田</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蓄水池塘抗旱来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">撒下粪肥雨润田。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“粪”应平声，不然犯孤平。可“磷肥”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">割麦金收卖货归。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“玉种”指种子，“金收”含义不明</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收罢高粱库进金。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">季节跨度有点大，“库进金”太夸张了</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">放水金苗展叶出</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“金苗”指金矿外露者，改“青苗”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">种下高粮夏映风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">应“高粱”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">拦坝清波润垄来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">栽下秧苗秋落金。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]季节跨度有点大。“秋落金”可“树落花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">培土青苗除草归</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">栽种禾田夏卷云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">插稻绿苗炫舞来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“绿”应平声，不然犯孤平。（除了句尾，必须有两个平声字连着）改“青苗”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">播种麦田夏送</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“麦”应平声，不然犯孤平，改“畦田”。不一定“春对夏”，可“树落花”符合季节。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耙地农肥灌水生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“生”可“来”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">种下桑麻夏启烟。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开梨玉种播田去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">插黍秧苗带雨来</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“开犁”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">囤满秋仓玉砌山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕主题对句，季节跨度有点大。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(自然风景)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歇雨青泥筑圃归。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">栽下蔬苗雨溅珠。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种播田去 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">引水清渠润穗生</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">绣就云塍绿涌诗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“云塍”改“田塍”更扣春耕主题</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开梨玉种播田去。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下地插秧注水忙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">栽种秧苗柳絮飘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“柳絮飘”改“柳舞风”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">犁开玉种播田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">土润金苗映日生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“土润”改“雨润”，“金苗”改青苗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">栽上秧苗夏舞风。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开梨玉种播田去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">结网捕鱼踏浪归</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">围绕春耕主题对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">词性没问题。“捕”应平声，不然犯孤平（除了句尾，前面必须有两个平声连着）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">摘下桃李秋落霜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">季节跨度有点大，还是围绕春耕主题对句。“桃李”应平平，类似改“种下田畴树落花”符合季节</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">李艳菊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">开犁玉种归田去；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">破土嘉禾入梦来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联以农耕为主题，运用了生动的意象和典雅的语言，展现了田园生活的美好与丰收的喜悦：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 对仗工整： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 在词性和结构上严格对应。“开犁”对“破土”（动宾结构），“玉种”对“嘉禾”（偏正名词），“归田去”对“入梦来”（动补方向性短语），体现了对联的对称美。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 意象生动： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “开犁玉种”以“玉”喻种子，突出珍贵与希望，赋予农耕诗意； </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “破土嘉禾”描绘禾苗初生的蓬勃景象，“嘉”字强化了美好寓意。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 两联共同构成从播种到丰收的完整画面，虚实相生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 用典自然： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “归田”暗含陶渊明式田园情怀，“入梦”则化用“禾下乘凉梦”的典故，表达对丰收的殷切期待，文化内涵丰富而不显晦涩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 主题升华： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联写实（春耕劳作），下联写虚（梦中丰收），虚实结合，将平凡的农事活动提升至对美好生活的向往，情感真挚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">选出稻谷春飞雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耕到田畴树落花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 1. 意象生动。上联以“飞雪”喻指春播时谷种飞扬的场景，既贴切又新颖；下联则巧妙将耕作与春日花落结合，画面感极强，展现了农时与自然节律的和谐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 语言凝练 ，对仗工整。“稻谷”对“田畴”（农作物对农田），“春飞雪”对“树落花”。动态白描对自然现象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 意境交融 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联写人力（播种），下联写天时（花落），暗含“人勤春早”的哲理，赋予寻常农事以审美意趣。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四九十期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">随蜂忙蝶戏，共醉韶光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万树桃花叠叠峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“峰”可“香”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">看莺歌燕舞，共乐时和。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“时和”天气和顺。主谓结构，改“新声”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸青山叠叠屏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“叠叠”按平水韵是仄仄可以。[玫瑰]屏风按“扇”，可“扇扇屏”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">看莺穿燕剪，共醉晨光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸山花粲粲霞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红平分春色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">看山青草碧共醉东风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“草碧”改“水碧”，与“山青”并列结构对等。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸青山缕缕烟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">听莺啼燕语，共赏物华。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千里长天片片云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">正枝繁叶茂，共享夏时。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满地鲜花股股香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红平分春色。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">携春光秀水醉舞满天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“春光”与“春色”“春”字重复不可，上联描写颜色，下联可描写声音。类似“听莺歌燕语，齐奏新声”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万里稻田片片黄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“稻田”应平平，不然犯孤平。改“良田”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凭风清水白，共接故人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下联调子有些暗，与上联鲜活不和谐。类似改“喜风和日丽，共话亲情”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">几朵闲云朗朗天。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">调整一下画面：万里晴空朵朵云。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闻鸡鸣鸟语，共享晨歌：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里禾苗层层波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“层层”应仄仄，可类似“十里良田垄垄苗”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凭花黄草翠，共展新姿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“桃”代表有“花”了，下联不要对“花”，上联描写颜色，下联描写声音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四野青禾片片欣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“浪”名词，“欣”动词应名词。类似改“四野良田片片禾”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿花红，平分春色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">观花容月貌，各领风骚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“风骚”用来形容一个人在文学或其他领域突出，用这里过大，类似改“各展芳华”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸良田穗穗花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小马哥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">观云舒霞卷，共醉天涯。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“天涯”指天边，改“时光”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸杏花片片霞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“杏花”应平平，不然犯孤平（除了句尾，前边必须有两个平声字连着），改“鲜花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凭莺歌燕舞，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">占满春光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联句尾“春色”，下联“春光”“春字重复了，下联改“共奏新声”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满岭桃花烁烁星。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“烁烁”闪烁，动词重叠，改名词重叠。类似改“朵朵香”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任柳绿桃红，平分春色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">听莺啼燕语，齐奏新声。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副对联是联中自对句。“柳绿与桃红”自对，“莺歌与燕语”自对。以春日景象为题材，通过视觉与听觉的双重描写，展现了生机盎然的春意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "任"字领起为仄声，"柳绿桃红"仄仄平平，音调错落有致） </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下联"听"字领起为平声，"莺啼燕语"平平仄仄，与上联形成声律呼应） </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上下联尾字"色""声"均为仄平相对，符合联律基本要求。领字平仄可以不记。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 对仗精巧：动词对："任"与"听"均为领字，前者表放任视觉之美，后者侧重主动聆听，一动一静相映成趣。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">色彩对："柳绿桃红"（植物+颜色）与"莺啼燕语"（动物+动作），属于联中自对句。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">意境对："平分春色"（空间分配）与"齐奏新声"（时间同步），"分""奏"二字将春景动态化，构思新颖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 意境鲜活 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一江春水重重浪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两岸鲜花朵朵香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副联以简洁的笔触勾勒出一幅生动的春日江景图，展现了自然之美与韵律之妙：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、意象构建</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "一江春水"与"两岸鲜花"形成纵向与横向的空间呼应，构建出立体画卷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "重重浪"以叠字手法强化了水流的动态美，"朵朵香"则通过通感将视觉转为嗅觉，也属于连珠对。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 数字"一"与"两"的巧妙对应，暗含道家"一生二"的哲学意味</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、艺术特色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">对仗工整而不呆板，"重重"与"朵朵"的量词对仗尤见巧思</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三、意境升华</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">末句"朵朵香"看似写花，实则将春水的湿润、和风的轻暖、甚至观者的愉悦都凝练其中，与杨万里"接天莲叶无穷碧"有异曲同工之妙。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四九一期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">日照五更花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“五更”指旧时从黄昏到拂晓一夜间分为五更，即一更、二更、三更、四更、五更。前四更日还没出来呢。改“日映满城花”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千山沃土又逢春。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“千山”改千层，更工稳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨洗一园花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨，‌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千畦嫩稻正迎风‌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“苗”包括各种秧苗，类似改“千畦小鸟”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨落半庭花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨润满畴苗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千峰老树正摇风。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“千峰”环境过于高远，可“千排”“千珠”等</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4.</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳浪五更花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“风吹”主谓结构，“柳浪”偏正结构不对品</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一蓑烟雨任平生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平仄可以。上下联意境关联不大。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雾绕万重山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千林秀木正含烟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">日照四时花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三川嫩柳又萌烟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“三川”专有名词，指西周 以泾、渭、洛 为三川等。太具体了。可“一排”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小马哥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨润满园桃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千畴绿浪正随风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨点一湖珠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一郊青草正撩风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨润满湖荷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千山嫩柳正迎风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“千山”改“千行”更工稳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨润四方花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千山绿树正萌芽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“新苗出”近夏季了，“树”春天就萌芽了，改“正迎风”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨打五更花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千倾嫩绿正抽芽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">应“千顷”，是仄声，应平声。类似改“千行嫩绿正揺风”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12.</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨打满城花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千畦良种又经风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联豆出新苗了，下联再“良种”不妥，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">日照一春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千家老杏又逢春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风吹三月絮，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨洗一城花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这副联描绘了暮春时节的景象，语言简洁而意境清新：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 意象选择精当：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"三月絮"点明柳絮纷飞的季节特征，"一城花"则展现出满城芳菲的视觉冲击力，二者都是春季典型意象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"风"与"雨"的自然元素组合，构成动态的春日图景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 动词运用巧妙：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "吹"字写出春风拂动柳絮的轻盈姿态</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "洗"字既表现春雨滋润，又暗含花落满城的凄美，一字双关</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 时空对比：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上句写空中飞舞的柳絮（空间延展）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下句写地面落花（空间凝聚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">形成立体化的春景构图</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 音韵特点：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"三"与"一"的数字对仗增添节奏感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5. 情感基调：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">表面写景，实则暗含春光易逝的淡淡惆怅，符合中国传统诗歌"以景传情"的审美追求。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万亩新苗才过雨，一湾溪水又浇田。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这幅对联以田园春耕为题材，通过清新自然的意象组合，展现了农事活动的生机与韵律：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、意象经营</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联"万亩新苗才过雨"以宏阔视角展开，雨润禾苗的画卷，"万亩"与"新苗"形成体量对比，突出生命初萌的壮美。下联"一湾溪水又浇田"转入细腻特写，"湾"字勾勒出水流形态，"又"字暗含农人勤勉。两联共同构成雨水-溪水的灌溉系统，体现自然与人工的协作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、时空设计</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">纵向时间线上，"才过"与"又浇"形成连贯的时间流，表现农事活动的接续不断。横向空间上，从广袤田野（万亩）到局部水系（一湾）的转换，形成电影镜头般的蒙太奇效果，使画面富有立体感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三、艺术表现</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 动词运用精当："过"字写雨之倏忽，"浇"字显灌溉之精心，动态感强烈</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 数字对仗巧妙："万"与"一"形成大小映衬，既符合实际（万亩良田需一湾溪水滋养），又暗合"一生万物"的哲学意味。</span></p>