最后的告别（2024年12月15日）

子敏

尊敬的各位长辈，各位亲朋好友！首先我代表我妈妈，代表我的家人们，向你们表示最诚挚的谢意，感谢你们在百忙之中参加今天的父亲的追思会，和我们一起与他做最后的告别。

父亲出生于1946年农历11月初十，五天前刚刚度过他78周岁的生日。这78年，爸爸过得既很不顺利又很顺利。不顺利的是，1966年高考临上考场前却被上山下乡大潮完全改变命运，以及早年丧母。而顺利的是，在被下放到最艰苦的地方做最劳累的体力劳动后，爸爸以自己的才华和努力，不断地抓住机会而且被认可，度过了工作生活都比较稳定和小康的一生。更为顺利与幸运的是，与我的妈妈相知相伴，携手度过了充满爱情的一生。

父亲是一个责任感极强的人，同时又有一种“护崽老母鸡”的天分。所以，似乎他在亲友圈同学圈农场场友圈同事圈等等各个圈子里，都是“冯大哥”这样的角色。在我们的大家庭里，他亦兄亦父，敬老携幼，遇到各种各样生活中的难题，他总能神奇地找到某些合理大方的解决方案，让老有所养壮有所立幼有所学。在工作中，父亲不仅是普通的同事或领导，他总是想尽自己最大所能把团队里的每个人都照顾好。在朋友们当中，父亲慷慨仗义，对朋友的帮助与关心从不图回报。在我们的小家庭里，父亲充满了幽默细胞，从小到大，家里经常飘出我们几个互相打趣的笑声。

2022年4月，我们幸福的家庭飘来了一片巨大的乌云，爸爸的淋巴切片里确诊出晚期肺癌，不仅完全没有手术治疗的机会，甚至预期生存期也非常短。有勇有谋的妈妈做了一个大胆而英明的决定：积极治疗，同时对爸爸隐瞒病情。10个月后，当原发肿瘤已被缩小95%后，爸爸才偶然得知了真相，此时的他更有信心和勇气继续与病魔搏斗了。从确诊至今的两年八个月里，爸爸的痛苦妈妈的艰辛自不必赘述。略感欣慰的是，32个月，爸爸最终比类似病程的平均生存期15个月多了一倍以上！最终及时叶落归根，按照他的心愿在家里安详离去，我们都安心了！

最后，请允许我以一位好朋友为爸爸和我而创作的诗歌，结束我的发言。

最后的握手

‍

海风轻轻地吹着

‍余晖下椰子树的影子长长地伸着

明黄的火星照亮了夜空的一角

天空满是繁星闪烁

海涛慢慢地拍打

门口的风铃自由自在地歌唱

我握着你冰凉的手

把昨天去年这半辈子的故事跟你讲

记得你的每一个微笑和惆怅

小时候坐在你的肩膀

长大后你挥着手送我远走他乡

还有每一封信每一个电话尽诉衷肠

虽然我听不见你的声音

我却看得清你的安详

这是我们最后一次握手

谢谢你留下爱的力量

孩子们会和我经常来看你

鲜花和祝福永远伴随你身旁

当月亮照在五指山顶

我们的思念滚滚而来如潮水汤汤

2024年12月15日中午12点，首先由家人们开始做最后的告别与供奉香火。大家绕行三圈，痛悼多年来如同大家长一般的大哥、大姐夫。每个人的表情都写满了不舍与哀伤，空气中弥漫着淡淡的香火味，仿佛在诉说着对父亲无尽的思念。

下午一点起，更多的人群开始聚集，老朋友老同学老同事农场场友们陆陆续续都来了。每个人的脸上都写满了沉重与不舍。

”南平缘”农场场友们来了

女婿与外孙经过25个小时马不停蹄地辗转转机，终于飞奔回到了家里。我们一家终于团圆了！爸爸，让我们整整齐齐地一起送你最后一程！

老同事老部下们来了

老同学老朋友之间的告别与安慰，在这个特殊的时刻，他们紧紧相拥在一起表达对爸爸的思念之情。

远在广东的父亲广东省委党校的同学们，特意委托一位朋友于今日午时到老祖屋，带来了全体同学（广东省委党校83年理论班中共党史专业）悼念父亲的花圈香烛纸钱礼金与悼联：深切缅怀悼念冯训强同学！

老同事老朋友们表情凝重

悲伤的情绪笼罩着整个追思会现场。头发花白的长辈与妈妈紧紧拥抱，不谙世事的侄孙小儿也黯然无语。那一刻，所有的言语都显得多余，唯有这份无声的安慰，能够给予彼此最真挚的支持与关怀。

长辈与亲朋好友的哀伤与怀念交织在一起。大家都静静地等待着追思仪式。

下午2点20分左右，我们举行了简短而正式的追思仪式。女儿小敏代表妈妈和全家首先发言（发言全文即是开篇的文字）。随后，与爸爸共事三十多年的老同事，且是报社社长接棒人之一的易家凡叔叔（同时代表陈彰叔叔）发表了感人的回顾。最后，爸爸的挚友，更是抗击病魔进程中最坚实的啦啦队长吴雁洪叔叔给出了经过深刻哲学思考的人生总结。

正式的追思仪式在大家默哀一分钟后结束了。到场的长辈与亲朋好友们一一与我们握手拥抱，才依依不舍地渐渐离去。

对爸爸的离去不胜心痛和深深怀念的亲朋好友们，还有许多人因为各种原因无法在追思会的时间段内及时参加，非常遗憾无法用照片语言记录下他们的哀思。何地章叔叔父女专程从广州回来两度探望和安慰，黄良诚叔叔全家闻讯从深圳赶回，陈彰叔叔因事离岛前一定要最后送一程，周成俊叔叔闻讯即刻发表了一篇文采斐然感人至深的纪念文章，父亲的高中同学们连夜用从年轻到最近多次活动中爸爸的照片编辑了纪念视频，美国的农场场友们发布哀悼图文……语言无法完全记录我们收到的所有的安慰与追思。我谨代表妈妈及我们全家对所有关心我们的人致以最诚挚的感谢。

‍父亲的面容依旧安详，仿佛只是暂时离开了我们。他周围摆满了亲朋好友们带来的鲜花花圈，每一朵花都承载着人们对逝者的敬佩与怀念。这一刻，我们更加懂得了生命的宝贵，更加珍惜彼此的陪伴与关爱。

‍爸爸安息。

The Final Farewell (December 15, 2024)

Dear elders, family members, and friends,

On behalf of my mother and our family, I extend my sincerest gratitude to all of you for taking time out of your busy schedules to attend today's memorial service for my father and join us in bidding him a final farewell.

My father was born on the tenth day of the eleventh lunar month in 1946. Five days ago, he had just celebrated his 78th birthday. Over these 78 years, my father experienced both hardship and fortune. On one hand, his life was not smooth. His plans to take the college entrance exam in 1966 were disrupted by the Down to the Countryside Movement, and he lost his mother at an early age. On the other hand, his life was filled with success. Even in the toughest environments doing the most strenuous labor during his re-education, my father seized every opportunity with his talent and diligence, earning recognition and living a relatively stable, comfortable life. He was even luckier to have met my mother and shared a life full of love with her.

My father was a man with a strong sense of responsibility, coupled with the instinct of a “protective mother hen.” Among his circles of family, friends, classmates, colleagues, and others, he was often regarded as “Brother Feng.” In our extended family, he played a dual role of brother and father, caring for the elderly, supporting the young, and solving various life challenges with grace and resourcefulness. At work, my father wasn’t just an ordinary colleague or leader. He did his best to take care of every team member. Among his friends, he was generous and loyal, always helping others without expecting anything in return. At home, he was full of humor, and the sound of our laughter often filled the air as we bantered with one another.

In April 2022, a dark cloud loomed over our happy family when my father was diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer through a lymph biopsy. With no opportunity for surgical treatment and a very short expected survival time, my courageous mother made a bold and wise decision: to pursue active treatment while keeping the diagnosis a secret from my father. Ten months later, when the primary tumor had shrunk by 95%, my father accidentally learned the truth. By then, he was more confident and courageous in continuing the fight against the disease. From the time of his diagnosis to today—two years and eight months later—my father endured great suffering, and my mother faced immense hardship. Nevertheless, we take some solace in knowing that my father lived over 32 months, more than twice the average survival time for similar conditions. In the end, he passed peacefully at home as he wished, and we are at peace.

To conclude, I’d like to share a poem written by a good friend in honor of my father and me:

The Last Handshake

The sea breeze gently blows,

Shadows of coconut trees stretch long under the twilight.

Golden sparks light up a corner of the night sky,

And stars shimmer across the heavens.

Waves softly lap against the shore,

The wind chime at the door sings freely.

I hold your cold hand,

Telling you stories of yesterday, last year, and half a lifetime.

I remember your every smile and sigh,

How I sat on your shoulders as a child,

And how you waved goodbye as I left for distant lands.

Every letter, every phone call—full of heartfelt words.

Though I cannot hear your voice,

I can see your serene .

This is our last handshake.

Thank you for leaving behind the power of love.

The children and I will visit you often,

Flowers and blessings will always surround you.

When the moon shines on the top of Five Finger Mountain,

Our thoughts for you will surge like the tides.

At noon on December 15, 2024, family members began the final farewell and incense offering. Everyone circled around three times, mourning the loss of the elder brother and brother-in-law who had been like a patriarch for many years. The air was filled with the faint scent of incense, as if whispering endless memories of my father.

Starting at 1 p.m., more people arrived—old friends, classmates, colleagues, and fellow farmworkers. Each face bore a heavy expression of grief and reluctance.

Representatives from the “Nanping Yuan” farm community arrived.

Relatives from afar made long journeys to pay their respects, and finally, our family was reunited to bid my father a proper farewell.

At 2:20 p.m., we held a brief yet solemn memorial ceremony. I delivered a speech on behalf of my mother and the family (the speech is included at the beginning of this text). Then, my father’s former colleague of over 30 years, Mr. Yi Jiafan, shared a heartfelt tribute, followed by Uncle Wu Yanhong, my father’s steadfast cheerleader during his illness, who offered a profound reflection on life.

The ceremony concluded with a minute of silence. Attendees expressed their condolences through handshakes and embraces before departing reluctantly.

Though many friends and family could not attend due to various reasons, they still expressed their condolences through flowers, written tributes, and heartfelt gestures, for which we are deeply grateful.

My father’s face remained peaceful, as if he had only temporarily left us. Flowers and wreaths brought by loved ones surrounded him, each bloom carrying admiration and remembrance. At this moment, we truly understand the preciousness of life and the importance of cherishing one another.

Father, rest in peace.