2021.1.8 浙江首考续写原创课件 附教师下水作文

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续写

原文

改为

词汇

命题

学生

短文

首考

高考

英语

绿苔私家英语 私家英语资源库 今天

Experience: I got my head stuck in a pumpkin

文本呈现:

(2021年1月浙江高考读后续写原题)

第二节 读后续写（满分25分）340words

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

    Pumpkin(南瓜）carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage ——I carried an 85-pounder back last year.

    This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event. I'm unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.

With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole uppermost, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry. Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞） forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.

      My excitement was short-lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I'm going to set it down, now," I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can't get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space.

1.所续写的短文词数应为150左右;

2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语

3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;

4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph1:

        It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.        

Paragraph2:

       The video was posted the Monday before Halloween

本节课亮点

1.将原文与题目进行比对，揣摩命题人设计；

2.将命题时被替换的词重现

设计理念：

读后续写所给短文语言平实，冷僻词少，续写时要求考生能与之在风格上保持一致，用干净、明白、有表现力的语言表达意义。平时教学中教师也应该鼓励学生使用妥帖的、适用于具体意境的语言，而不是一味堆砌一些所谓的高级词汇和复杂句式。——《2021浙江高考英语科目试题评析》

教学步骤

1.将原文与题目进行比对，揣摩命题人设计，是有效提升教师命题能力的好方法，也是提升学生解题能力的好方法；

2.将命题时被替换的词重现，是有效扩充学生词汇的好办法；

3.教师应引导学生学会读题；（读内容，读线索，读语言）

4.找出情绪山；

5.欣赏原文结尾，学习地道表达；同时鼓励学生创作多种多样合理的续写版本；

6.趁热打铁，利用原文完成续写。

命题方向:

1.去掉了一些可有可无的故事背景和事物。

2.将部分词汇替换为考纲词汇。将学生不熟悉的名词specimen改为上文有标注的Pumpkin (南瓜)。innards改为insides，ritual改为event，crown改为head ，exultation改为excitement 。降低了学生读题的难度。

动词词组方面：scoop out改为take out，lean over改为bend over ，lane into改为go on with ，feel a jab of 改为get into a panic， roar改为shout。动作描写一直是浙江高考续写的核心，教师在指导学生续写本文时，为保证文气一致，不能在文章里过度追求词汇的“高级性”。真正的“高级词汇”应当是出境率高而又表意准确的词汇。当然，在平时的教学里适当拓展词汇也是有必要的。

形容词方面：gigantic/huge

3.删去具体时间，改为以现在为标度，用last year来表达。

4.总体上没有大幅度的删改。只在末尾段为与段首句衔接做了稍多的调整。

浙江省英语高考的续写可分为 “Conflict-centered”和“Change-centered”两类，本次续写为前者。从记叙文的几个基本要素来看，从叙述视角看是第一人称；从环境看，本次续写创设了室内场景，要注意到2020年1月首考环境为室内，7月二考为室外；2021年1月首考环境为室内，那么今年6月二考的环境会是？（概要写作还会考吗？）文中还涉及到“南瓜”这种故事道具；从人物看，本次续写的主要人物是一家人；从情节看，本次续写主要依照“difficulty-resolution”这样的情节模式。

【原文读后续写】

It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.The muffled voices from outside were oddly calming, though – Mom unruffled and amused, Jason giving advice. There was enough space around my neck to let a little light in and. “Stay tuned,” said Mom; Dad got me to push my head farther into the pumpkin so Mom could reach in and undo the rubber band round my ponytail. I emerged with squash-conditioned hair, a sore chin and my nose plugged with pulp. she’d mentioned she was going to upload the video to Facebook, but it was only then I realised she’d been filming the whole time.

The video was posted the Monday before Halloween. By the end of that day it had over 1,000 views .The video started racking up hundreds of thousands of views. The pumpkin also became a minor celebrity. Passersby and trick-or-treaters would knock and ask, “Which is Rachel’s pumpkin?” before taking selfies with it. A few months later I squeezed myself into a laundry basket during a game of hide-and-seek and became hopelessly jammed. It was Dad who responded to my cries for help. Inevitably, I was kept waiting for a while – first he had to look for the video camera.

原文欣赏

Experience: I got my head stuck in a pumpkin

Undertake the Text 承接上文

The muffled voices from outside were oddly calming, though – Mom unruffled and amused, Jason giving advice, my 10-year-old brother, Austin, singing a song I couldn’t make out. There was enough space around my neck to let a little light in and, fortunately, I’ve always liked the smell of pumpkin. My bellowing provoked little sympathy. “Don’t use up all your oxygen,” Mom suggested.

Dad was summoned – less, it seemed, in expectation of practical help than to make sure he didn’t miss out on the spectacle. I heard him propose calling the fire department. “Stay tuned,” said Mom; she’d mentioned she was going to upload the video to Facebook, but it was only then I realized she’d been filming the whole time. I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much, much longer. The video cuts before my rescue – Dad got me to push my head farther into the pumpkin so Mom could reach in and undo the rubber band round my ponytail. I emerged with squash-conditioned hair, a sore chin and my nose plugged with pulp.

That Facebook video went up the Monday before Halloween, and by the end of that day it had over 1,000 views. People asked Mom to put it on YouTube, and by Wednesday morning we were getting 5am calls from TV breakfast shows and then the international media – the video started racking up hundreds of thousands of views. When I went on a youth camp, I was recognized by children I’d never met. The pumpkin also became a minor celebrity. Passersby and trick-or-treaters would knock and ask, “Which is Rachel’s pumpkin?” before taking selfies with it.

  Although our pumpkin carving the following year was a more sedate affair, I wouldn’t say I learned my lesson. A few months later I squeezed myself into a laundry basket during a game of hide-and-seek and became hopelessly jammed. It was Dad who responded to my cries for help. Inevitably, I was kept waiting for a while – first he had to look for the video camera.

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