成都人民太欢乐了,因金堂4.7级地震出来的那些段子把我眼泪花儿都笑出来了....哈哈哈哈哈...

军旗11

<h3><br></h3><p style="text-align: center;"><b>一觉醒来,发现成都地震了</b></h3><p style="text-align: center;">然而成都人民不仅没有慌</h3><p style="text-align: center;">反而都在半夜营业写段子???</h3><p style="text-align: center;"><b>四川人民也太可爱了吧</b></h3><p style="text-align: center;">带你们感受一下</h3> <h3>然后,成都人民没有跑,结果朋友圈和微信群里的段子全部出来了。。。。。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>1、友情提示,因为地震出门避险请戴好口罩,不要中了病毒的调虎离山之计 </h3><h3><br></h3><h3>2、地震发生时,刚想往外逃跑,打开门就看见新型冠状病毒站在门外,吓得我又缩回来了。。。</h3><h3>在家也是遭,出门也是遭?我太难了! </h3><h3>上联:出门怕肺炎</h3><h3>下联:在家怕地震</h3><h3>横批:2020好难 </h3><h3><br></h3><h3>3、成都的好消息:“武汉在成都的2万个人全部找到。因为刚才地震惊慌失措跑到大街上的肯定是武汉人,四川人都在屋头烫脚 </h3><h3><br></h3><h3>4、四川人民来做个选择题:</h3><h3>A选择在家躲肺炎</h3><h3>B选择上街躲地震</h3><h3>太难了,都是送命题啊</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3><br></h3><h3><br></h3><h3>5、#成都5.1级地震#</h3><h3>地震:不能待在家里</h3><h3>病毒:不能待在外面</h3><h3>我是谁,我该去哪?</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>6、前方记者发来报道,现在外面全是人,好多都没戴口罩!</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>7、</h3><h3>肺炎:哥,他们都躲屋里不出来,我咋个传染。</h3><h3>地震:等到,老子把他们都震出来。<br></h3><h3><br></h3><h3>8、</h3><h3>出去有病毒 在家有地震</h3><h3>这他妈是追杀</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>9、</h3><h3>2020,地球的中心能量启动以中国为主。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>中国好,世界才更好!</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>四川处于坤地,更是2020的重中之重,震一震,万物复苏,迎头赶上!好事!</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>10、</h3><h3>上联 肺炎不能在外</h3><h3>下联 地震不能在家</h3><h3>横批 悟空,这如何是好</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>11、人倒是没啥子,就是把柜子摇烂了!!!</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>12、</h3><h3>A、据中国地震台网的报告:00点05分,金堂附近(北纬30.74度,东经104.53度)发生4.5级左右。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3> 而同一时间,00点05分青白江区(北纬30.74度,东经104.46度)发生5.1级。</h3><h3>B、加起来应该是9.6???</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>13、地震大声要有骨气,8级以下不要开腔!!!(人家要笑)</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>14、冷静!!!跑得话还要浪费一个口罩!!!</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>15</h3><h3><br></h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>16、</h3><h3>邻居们抓紧时间睡,一会儿再摇起来又睡不成了。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>17、害怕的瑟瑟发抖。。。。</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>18、来自成都人民的灵魂拷问:我们是家里蹲还是广场见???</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>地震和肺炎的对话:</h3><h3>肺炎:哥,他们都躲屋里不出来,我咋个传染。</h3><h3>地震:等到,老子把他们都震出来。</h3><h3>肺炎:哥,没摇出来呢?</h3><h3>地震:没力气了,一个个天天在屋头吃,太重了,摇不动了!</h3> <h3>昨晚的地震,让我们看到了成都人的幽默了水准和搞笑精神……[强]。 </h3><h3> </h3><h3>上联:肺炎不能出门</h3><h3>下联:地震不能在家</h3><h3>横批:赶尽杀绝</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>上联:外面病毒不能去</h3><h3>下联:家里地震不敢呆</h3><h3>横批:2020</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>上联:在家有地震</h3><h3>下联:在外有病毒</h3><h3>横批:进退两难</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>上联:地震,家里危险,外面安全</h3><h3>下联:肺炎,家里安全,外面危险</h3><h3>横批:往哪儿跑</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>上联:白天在家防毒</h3><h3>下联:晚上上街防震</h3><h3>横批:我是神仙</h3><h3>……</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>23、</h3><h3>大家不要惊慌,地震的震,震为震卦,雷也,电也,属木,雷神电神开始行动,有助于防疫。</h3> <h3><br></h3><h3>24</h3> &lt;section style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; white-space: normal; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;<span style="max-width: 100%; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></span>&lt;/section&gt;&lt;section style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; white-space: normal; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;<span style="max-width: 100%; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈</span><br style="max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">&lt;/section&gt;&lt;section style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; white-space: normal; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;&lt;strong style="max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;<span style="max-width: 100%; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我也太爱四川人民这种精神了</span></strong><span style="max-width: 100%; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span>&lt;/section&gt;&lt;section style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; 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color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, &quot;PingFang SC&quot;, &quot;Hiragino Sans GB&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei UI&quot;, &quot;Microsoft YaHei&quot;, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; white-space: normal; min-height: 1em; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;&lt;strong style="max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"&gt;<span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">安全保护自己哈</span></strong>&lt;/section&gt; <h3>2020-2-10早上全国疫情统计</h3>